To think the 'information' the midwife gave me is almost propaganda?

[ethelfleda]

Recently had 24 week appointment. This is our first. Midwife asked if I had thought about feeding yet. I said I plan on breastfeeding. I say 'plan' because (as with everything else baby related) I am trying to keep an open mind as from what I hear, things don't always go according to plan! So I will try hard to breastfeed but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out for us.
She handed me a 20 odd page pamphlet thing and said it contained useful information on caring for a new born.

I started to read it today thinking it would be basic NHS info on how to feed, wind and change your baby etc. It was actually 20 odd pages of info telling me basically that if i don't breastfeed, my baby is more likely to develop cancer (as am I) as well as be admitted to hospital in their first year of life etc etc among other very scary statistics.
The language used was shocking IMO! And seemingly designed to make women who don't/can't breastfeed feel awful! Has anyone else had this information handed to them and thought it was way over the top??

clairesunflower I think your situation is what I am getting at... youbwere treated very unfairly!

Tuck I wasn't aware of any anti BF attitudes in society. Maybe I just naively thought that women who are expecting will research the facts and come to their own informed decision about it.

I agree OP. I had some personal issues which meant I didn't breastfeed. I had full support from midwives and health visitors and the hospital was graay. However the pushy attitude and scare mongering of the pro breast feeding stuff tipped me over the edge, into massive post natal anxiety where I was 100% convinced my baby would die of SIDS or whooping cough, or get cancer all because I was formula feeding. I became OBSESSED with correctly making up formula in case someone else didn't do it right and it would be all my fault if baby got sick. I even used to cry when I had to feed her as I felt I was being such a bad mum. I have even heard formula referred to as poisen on here. I appreciate that breastfeeding mothers need support to do it and 100% think breastfeeding should be promoted and support given. Breastbis undoubtably best. But the message is so strong and some of the pro breastfeeders are so righteous about it that I ended up not wanting to go to any baby groups or out in public as I thought everyone was judging me for not loving my baby enough to breastfeed.

If I ever have another I will of course try to breastfeed but i will certainly stay away from any literature about it and avoid NCT like the Plauge. I felt like I brought shame on the group by having a c section and formula feeding. Sometimes these choices are made because we love our babies, not because we don't care.

I will just Finnish by saying that I am 100% pro breastfeeding. I know that it is what is best for baby and that the many many benefits are not exaggerated. It's just that not everyone can do it (before formula you would have to get a wet nurse or watch your baby die) and I don't believe formula is quite the devils work as its made out to be. As along as it's made up correctly in a hygienic environment.

Sorry rant over. I just feel sad I will never get back those precious first months that were ruined by the overwhelming guilt and judgement I received for not breastfeeding.

"It amazed me because I hadn't given it that much thought"

In one sentence - the rationale for the NHS producing leaflets like this.

I really struggle to understand why so many people will spend 10X as long thinking about and researching which buggy they want to buy as to what they will give their baby as their sole source of sustenance for the first six months of their life.

If there was one argument for increasing the amount of information that women are given about feeding prior to having their babies it's this.

Not sure about this biased review.

www.mothersguide.co.uk/lactationconsultantreview.html

It's not propaganda because it's accurate info. However I know what you mean. I think the way it is gone is that there is huge encouragement to breastfeed while your pregnant and getting you started in the hospital but there is terrible support in helping make breastfeeding work for mum and baby after that. Of course it's important to know the benefits of breastfeeding. But actually information about how to know the baby is feeding well, feeding without pain and normal feeding behaviour is much more useful. If they focused on ensuring that more women had happy and successful bfibg journeys the rates would rise.

Promotion without providing the follow up support is wrong. It leaves women feeling like they have failed when in fact they have been failed by the system. It really annoys me.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Just a friendly word of advice as I'm passing by. I've spotted a number of hardcore regulars on this thread. The same ones that popped up in breastfeeding threads when I was in the thick of newborn brain fog 4 years ago. Looking back now I can laugh at how wound up I used to get by sparring with them on the subject of BF/FF. your baby will thrive regardless of how they're fed. Don't fall into the trap on letting yourself become overly wound up by infant feeding threads on mumsnet.

"and I don't believe formula is quite the devils work as its made out to be"

People don't think formula is 'the devils work'. 98% of UK babies have formula within the first year. The majority of UK babies are fully formula fed by 6 weeks.

The fact that you are going around harbouring beliefs like this shows you haven't fully come to terms with your experience. Don't tell yourself or other people that there is a general belief that formula is awful. There isn't! And saying stuff like this as a chuck away line actually contributes to other people feeling judged and distressed.

'Maybe I just naively thought that women who are expecting will research the facts and come to their own informed decision about it.'

Why?

The NHS gives out whole books of medical advice and child rearing advice to pregnant women and mothers.

A large part of what the NHS does is educational.

Many people have limited educational levels and can't research things.

They need extensive advice on how to breast feed because it is a physical process, not a product.

YY that's really good advice too Forty. I didn't find MN til my two were at Primary school, and I am grateful for that sometimes.

You said to the midwife that you planned on breastfeeding, she gave you a booklet about breastfeeding, and you're annoyed about it? I would imagine she thought you'd want to know more about breastfeeding. It's not propaganda, it's NHS information about breastfeeding.

If you'd said you were formula feeding and she gave you that leaflet then I could understand you being annoyed, because it wouldn't be relevant or helpful.

They say that not breastfeeding increases the likelihood of ovarian and breast cancer, which it does.

Is this true? It's a little non-specific. Who does it increase the risk in, all women or women who've had babies? Are women who haven't had children and thus haven't breastfed at higher risk for ovarian and breast cancer than women who have breastfed?

And does it actually increase the risk relative to the population-level risk or is it that it is a protective factor, i.e. it decreases the risk?

Ok I've just looked this document up and read it, and IMO YABU.
Not almost propoganda, not "information", ju

Do they still give out the cringeworthy 'Emma's Diary'?

"your baby will thrive regardless of how they're fed"

No - some babies DON'T thrive, and sometimes it's because of how they are fed - and that applies to babies who are both breastfed and formula fed.

Don't give false assurances you're not qualified to give, because you want to win some sort of popularity contest. Treat people like adults.

Thank you fortybingowings

Sorry OP, it's all my fault apparently, for just idly thinking that my boobs might feed my baby and idly thinking that if, for one of many reasons, that they might not, dd wouldn't starve because alternatives were available. If it helps, I gave no thought at all to a buggy. DP brought one back, chosen on the basis that 'gywneth Paltrow has one, so it should be fine, shouldn't it?'
I really struggle to understand people who seem to be completely happy discounting the many, many stories of women who struggle years on with the guilt of not being able to breastfeed and who seem happy to bully those women some more. Breast is best; a well, sane mother is better.

Assasinated good point well made. I was under the (perhaps incorrect) impression that it was given to everyone.

beachbaby exactly what I was saying to DH after reading it!

sparkling yes, they do! Haven't read my copy yet!

Minifingerz- I take your point and appreciate I need to be careful with my words. But honestly, that's how I was made to feel. When you have been awake for days on end because you are too scared to sleep in case your baby dies in the night and it will all be your fault for formula feeding. Of when you feel like you are contributing to giving your child cancer every time it cries for a feed, and the NHS offer NO support to parents formula feeding it does feel like my previous comment. Our midwives wouldn't offer me any help or give me any understanding on formula and how to make up bottles etc. I remember asking what I was supposed do at 3am when baby screaming for food and can't wait 20 minutes for water to cool in kettle and she said 'oh we are only allowed to refer you to the box instructions'. 'Would you like to see if we can get your milk going again' !!!

Thank goodness for my friends mum who was a nurse on a premature baby ward who taught me how to safely formula feed my baby. Whilst others are just left thinking you can put formula into cold water and other risky things. All because midwives have to be so pro breastfeeding they are not even allowed to advise on how to make up a bottle 🙁

Thanks you Phoolani- yes a sane mother is best. We had a miserable first few months (wasn't much fun for my husband either) and it could have been so much easier.

Midwives are allowed to tell you how to make up a bottle! That midwife treated you appallingly and was most definitely not doing her job properly.

The NHS does explain how to bottle feed a baby in the NHS pregnancy guide, which every mother is given.

Oh blimey ethel if it's anything like it was in 1999 you are in for a treat. Emma was vv annoying.

I just found it infuriating because while bf is hammered away at while I was pregnant there was virtually no help when the baby was here and losing weight rapidly. I eventually went on and breastfed DD for a year (mixed feeds from around eight months) but felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. I got loads of brilliant advice from mumsnet at the time though, so remember to check on here if you need to OP.

Ethel, I've trained as a breastfeeding helper. We tend to be pretty pro breastfeeding ;) But even on my training course of 15 or so women, who have all breastfed and passionately want to help others who want to, the majority of the room told stories of being told at various times while they were breastfeeding, by family, friends, and medical professionals, that they would be better off formula feeding. I'm not denying that the 'breast is best' message isn't out there loud and clear, but there is an insidious underlying message that actually, it really doesn't make any difference if you formula feed. Your Mum who says, well, you were formula fed, and you turned out all right...Your neighbour who says that of her two children, the one who was breastfed was actually sick more often. Nobody's claiming that formula is poison (if they are, they're a loon), and yes, you probably often wouldn't notice a difference at an individual level. But at a population level it makes a massive difference. And that leaflet isn't just aimed at your average middle class Mumsnet user. Some sectors of society have really low levels of breastfeeding even in the first week or so. Young mothers, those who left eduction earlier. UNICEF have some interesting statistics on their website. I'm not in any way arguing that women should be bullied into breastfeeding. Far from it. But somehow, despite the 'breast is best' message supposedly being so ubiquitous we're all sick of it, it's not making it past being a slogan in a lot of cases.

You will find though as soon as your baby is here you will be asked constantly if you want to give formula, when you are going to switch to formula, and every slight issue with breastfeeding will be solved by formula.

Leafleting is the easy part. There's no post-natal support, and m/w are too short staffed and over stretched. Everytime anyone saw me breastfeeding on the post natal ward i was asked if i was sure i didn't want to try formula.