To think the 'information' the midwife gave me is almost propaganda?

[ethelfleda]

Recently had 24 week appointment. This is our first. Midwife asked if I had thought about feeding yet. I said I plan on breastfeeding. I say 'plan' because (as with everything else baby related) I am trying to keep an open mind as from what I hear, things don't always go according to plan! So I will try hard to breastfeed but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out for us.
She handed me a 20 odd page pamphlet thing and said it contained useful information on caring for a new born.

I started to read it today thinking it would be basic NHS info on how to feed, wind and change your baby etc. It was actually 20 odd pages of info telling me basically that if i don't breastfeed, my baby is more likely to develop cancer (as am I) as well as be admitted to hospital in their first year of life etc etc among other very scary statistics.
The language used was shocking IMO! And seemingly designed to make women who don't/can't breastfeed feel awful! Has anyone else had this information handed to them and thought it was way over the top??

"I do think that as first time mothers we are vulnerable to all the information given to us. And feel the pressure and subsequent guilt a lot more"

You will be exposed to vastly more formula promotion than breastfeeding promotion, because it's all over the media.

Are you concerned about that or just breastfeeding promotion?

oldlaundbooth - you made an informed decision? How did you do that? What information did you have that helped you make up your mind?

"Yes. Finally grin"

But they can't make up their minds properly without having access to the facts first can they?

And yet there seem to be loads of people on this thread who object to pregnant women being given all the facts about breastfeeding because it might make them feel shitty if they won't/can't breastfeed.

I personally think people should be given the facts and then everyone should fuck off out of it and let them make their own decisions, free from voices whispering 'it's really important that you breastfeed/it really doesn't matter how a baby is fed' in their ear.

Because you do realise that telling people that how a baby is feddoesnt matter is also a way of trying to influence their feeding choices? It's not a neutral comment. It implies that breastfeeding has so benefits, and it undermines people's confidence in the medical literature which says how a baby isfeddoes make a difference.

Interestingly, a lot of people here seem to be blind to the existence of any pressure other than the pressure to breastfeed.

my body, my choice

THIS.

For every single part of pregnancy and childbirth and beyond.

"I do think that as first time mothers we are vulnerable to all the information given to us. And feel the pressure and subsequent guilt a lot more"

Do you not think that people are also vulnerable to the constant normalizing of bottle feeding? There are practically no examples of bf on the media. It is incredibly unusual to see anyone bf when out and about, but you frequently see bottle feeding happening. For example.

And every time someone posts on here with a bf problem, someone always suggests a bottle. Always. And every thread about having visitors post birth always has posts about the ncredible difficulty of establishing bf.

my body, my choice

THIS.

For every single part of pregnancy and childbirth and beyond.

How many times do women say "they won't let me go over more than xxx days" and the like?

Too many people get offended by the presentation of facts. If the NHS were lying to us, then great,get pissed off. But when the national HEALTH service presents facts, based on studies, about something that influences our HEALTH then surely that is exactly what they should be doing? Decide to listen or not is all fine, to each their own and all that. But arguing that the facts shouldn't be presented seems a little odd tbh. Especially given we live in a culture dominated by FF, so are hardly lacking the balancing voice.

It's funny isn't it as I tell
Myself BF is best

But honestly I look at DS aged 9 and his peers and really what makes the difference is parenting , general level Of exercise , kindness , culture etc

So whilst I agree it's preferable and easier etc I don't see it makes that much difference in the long run

Having bf 3dcs, then having to bottle feed 1dc, I have come to realise that yes, breastmilk is important (why I pumped for so bloody long) but that forming a meaningful bond with your baby is so much more important and can be done (or not done) either way.

Breastfeeding is your choice i have a bottle fed daughter who's no issues at all not ill or ended up in hospital .. mifwives are asked to encorage breastfeeding i simply replied no thank you weren't asked again

'Too many people get offended by the presentation of facts'

I get irritated, not offended, by the way the facts are presented. Then you get people sounding a bit superior, saying 'It's sad' 'its a shame people don't even try' etc.

Statistics provide information so we can make our own decisions, that is all.

'But honestly I look at DS aged 9 and his peers and really what makes the difference is parenting , general level Of exercise , kindness , culture etc ' Very true.

"my body, my choice

THIS.

For every single part of pregnancy and childbirth and beyond."

Luckily not one person in the whole of the UK appears to be advocating for mothers not to have a choice as to how they feed their babies, so you're good on this score.

In fact if you're really hot on women realising their choices as to what to do with their bodies maybe you could raise your voice in support of better care for breastfeeding women, as while 100% of women who know and declare an intention to bottlefeeding actually end up bottlefeeding, only a fraction of women who wish to breastfeed are able to realise their choice, mainly because of bloody crappy services and ignorance among health professionals resulting in unnecessarily high rates of breastfeeding fall-out.

"But honestly I look at DS aged 9 and his peers and really what makes the difference is parenting , general level Of exercise , kindness , culture etc ' Very true."

You could have smoked 20 fags a day all through your pregnancy and the likelihood is that you'd be looking at your 9 year old and thinking exactly the same thing. Just because you can't see the impact of suboptimal feeding and poor health choices, it doesn't mean they haven't made a difference to your child or that they don't matter.

Every time someone posts on here with a bf problem, someone always suggests a bottle.

And? FF isn't Voldemort it's perfectly fine to mention it.

I have seen many threads where a miserable woman is basically asking permission to stop BFing. To me that's a shame.

Letting them know it's fine to consider changing to a perfectly healthy, nutritious alternative isn't normalising bottle feeding - It's being supportive.

It's not helping them with their actual breastfeeding problem though? So it's not that supportive, really.

Women asking for "permission" to swap to formula is a different issue, and nearly always on those kinds of threads you see a majority of posts reassuring the OP that it's fine to do so.

'maybe you could raise your voice in support of better care for breastfeeding women,'
As I said I, by sheer luck, didn't have any problems, however if I had there were midwives in hospital pushing supporting, HV, lots of leaflets etc helplines. Maybe it's a postcode thing but if the support is there and people then choose not to, then what?

I will continue to 'raise my voice' to tell other parents to stfu and respect others choices. Leave it to the hcps to advocate bf or ff, depending on the mother's circumstances.

I didn't mean threads asking 'Should I stop BFing?' (although in my experience those threads tend to end up being a pissing contest between whoever can link the most sources whilst totally ignoring the OP asking for help)

I meant the women posting about how unhappy they are. You get a sense some are looking for someone to tell them they aren't letting their baby down if they decide to stop.

Luckily not one person in thewholeof the UK appears to be advocating for mothersnotto have a choice as to how they feed their babies

Really? Because I've read threads on here before now where people have opined that formula should only be available on prescription to those with a medical need so that BF becomes the default and rates therefore increase. So there are indeed people out there advocating that there should be no choice.

if you're really hot on women realising their choices as to what to do with their bodies maybe you could raise your voice in support of better care for breastfeeding women, as while 100% of women who know and declare an intention to bottlefeeding actually end up bottlefeeding, only a fraction of women who wish to breastfeed are able to realise their choice

Bottlefeeding - put milk in sterilised bottle, either ready made carton or boiling water plus water, feed to baby, etc. There are no variables, if you buy formula you are able to provide formula, there is zero chance that you'll find you've bought an empty carton.

Breastfeeding - many, many variables involved and lack of support is only one of these variables. Fact of it is that even with support there will be some women who canbot/do not want to breastfeed and that is absolutely fine.

Just because you can't see the impact of suboptimal feeding and poor health choices, it doesn't mean they haven't made a difference to your child or that they don't matter.

"Suboptimal" and "poor health choices"!? It's attitudes like this that contribute to the antagonism present in BF/FF discussions.

You've missed send the option of expressing milk and delivering via bottles. ;)

I got these leaflets too. It really is pushed on you... the issue for me was baby was fussy and the midwifes suggested formula as he "was getting dehydrated" as milk took a while to come in. Sounds like bollocks advice now. Then I didn't know how to go back!! I had NO support in hospital or at home. They are cutting funding for support near where I live.

The amount of pressure and guilt tripping DOES NOT EQUAL the little amount of support available.

I've been on mumsnet for 10 years and seen that opinion expressed maybe half a dozen times.

I've seen the opinion that mothers have the right to feed their babies how they wish expressed about 10000 times.

Judging from the numbers regularly flag waving in protest about people trying to restrict women's feeding choices, you'd assume those numbers were reversed, that there's a powerful lobby advocating for restriction of choice.

There isn't, so you can all stop shouting and protesting about attempts to restrict women's choice to bottle-feed. There aren't any. There never has been any. I have no idea why people are so determined to believe that their rights are under attack except maybe as part of a concerted effort to paint breastfeeding advocates as fascists

I meant the women posting about how unhappy they are. You get a sense some are looking for someone to tell them they aren't letting their baby down if they decide to stop.

Yup. My first question is always "do you want to carry on breastfeeding?" Because if someone doesn't want to and BF is actually making then really unhappy then all the support in the world isn't going to change that. "Can't breastfeed" isnt always due to physical reasons such as supply issues or medications, there are also times where "can't" is for the sake of a woman's mental health too.

If something can't be achieved without the help, intervention and support of properly trained medical staff then maybe it's not so bloody easy.

'Just because you can't see the impact of suboptimal feeding and poor health choices, it doesn't mean they haven't made a difference to your child or that they don't matter.'

Well done mini you've even surpassed your usual superiority with that ^ 👏and you wonder why people tell you to wind your neck in.