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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the 'information' the midwife gave me is almost propaganda?

999 replies

ethelfleda · 29/07/2017 21:14

Recently had 24 week appointment. This is our first. Midwife asked if I had thought about feeding yet. I said I plan on breastfeeding. I say 'plan' because (as with everything else baby related) I am trying to keep an open mind as from what I hear, things don't always go according to plan! So I will try hard to breastfeed but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out for us.
She handed me a 20 odd page pamphlet thing and said it contained useful information on caring for a new born.

I started to read it today thinking it would be basic NHS info on how to feed, wind and change your baby etc. It was actually 20 odd pages of info telling me basically that if i don't breastfeed, my baby is more likely to develop cancer (as am I) as well as be admitted to hospital in their first year of life etc etc among other very scary statistics.
The language used was shocking IMO! And seemingly designed to make women who don't/can't breastfeed feel awful! Has anyone else had this information handed to them and thought it was way over the top??

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:02

"If you say "it's a shame" and then someone says the completely genuine reason, how would you feel Bertrand? Would you feel bad for making an assumption and making them feel awful?"

I said, actually, that I thought it was a when shame people decide in advance not to even try. And I think it is. Because why give huge wedges of dish to big business if you don't have to?

Incidentally, you seem to be confusing "thinking" and "saying"......

Original poster

ethelfleda · 30/07/2017 17:02

swingofthings I completely agree with your post.

Mini I (and a number of others) on this thread have said that I have no problem being presented with facts on bf vs ff
I even haven't got a problem with handing out a booklet as I know the NHS is under strain... I just think they could word it a whole lot better, less scare mongering and give a more balanced view is all.

But in my 'bubble' where I have never really been around many expectant mothers, it's never even really been much of a debate either way. I know 2 people in this country who have had babies recently. They are twin sisters. One ff and the other bf. It never even occurred to me to ask why in either case. I always assumed that I would bf as it seems like the best choice - more natural etc. But I am aware it doesn't work for all women and that being ff is a very good substitute.
plus I am lazy and making up bottles sounds like a faff

OP posts:

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/07/2017 17:05

Can you give some examples of the bits of this booklet that are scaremongering?

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 30/07/2017 17:06

Bertrand. So,would,you or wouldn't you say "it's a shame you haven't tried breastfeeding" to someone? Because you typed "said" not "think".

And how would you know if they had tried or not? And what qualifies as tried in your opinion, and, indeed, what qualifies you to judge the effectiveness of their trying?

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:06

Is the booklet online?

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:09

"Because you typed "said" not "think"."

No I didn't. This is my post.
"And, frankly, I think it's a shame when people decide in advance not to even try. Because I bet they've got better things to do with their money than line the pockets of the formula manufacturers."

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 30/07/2017 17:10

I was quoting this post :

"And really try not use words like 'sad' or say 'It's a shame people don't try' Unless you don't mind sounding like a patronising twat. Mind some people just can't help it."

Not even "I think it's a shame......"? No opinions allowed?

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:13

Ah, right. So not addressing me at all? Fair enough.

WonderLime · 30/07/2017 17:13

I have a copy of the booklet next to me. I was only given it after I agreed that I would be trying to breastfeed (I'm not sure if they would have provided it to me if I'd said no).

Here is a sample of it, but it's missing several of the pages: www.mothersguide.co.uk/MOTHERS%20GUIDE%20ISSUE%2012%20SAMPLE.pdf

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 30/07/2017 17:14

I was addressing your,comment, which did not appear to me to refer back to your,other statement.

I am very glad to hear that you would not have even thought of saying anything to someone like me as that would have been judgemental and very very rude.

User843022 · 30/07/2017 17:18

'I thought it was a when shame people decide in advance not to even try. And I think it is. Because why give huge wedges of dish to big business if you don't have to?'

It isn't a 'shame' though. It's what happens if you prefer to buy something. There's nothing shameful in it

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:19

Mychild, you're just making things up now. Which is judgmental and rude.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 30/07/2017 17:21

Bertrand I think you've maybe misread my post I was being thankful that you wouldn't have said anything to me

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:22

"It isn't a 'shame' though"

Well, I think it is. Is that allowed?

And, incidentally, the colloquial expression "It's a shame......." does not mean that whatever it is is shameful.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:24

Mychild, you are being thankful that I would not do something that I never for a moment suggested I would. You made that up.

User843022 · 30/07/2017 17:24

' I am very glad to hear that you would not have even thought of saying anything to someone like me'

Yes let's hope they manage to keep their judgemental crap to themselves. I'm all for a hcps advocating bf in a professional way. None of this it's sad or a shame if you don't bollocks though.

answerrewsna · 30/07/2017 17:25

How can one thread with 440 posts become all about one person?

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed Do you really think this thread is all about you? The NHS is all about you? The world is all about you? It sure comes across that way.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 30/07/2017 17:25

Do you think or not think Bertrand that it is a shame that babies aren't BF?

I've googled the meaning of "it's a shame" it's here dictionary.reverso.net/english-definition/it's%20a%20shame

I think there is a difference of opinion around what the phrase means. I take the view it means what's said in that definition and it upsets me and hurts my feelings to know others think I did something dishonourable, unworthy or degrading.

Other definitions say a regrettable or unfortunate thing.

That is a judgement in my book.

User843022 · 30/07/2017 17:26

'It isn't a 'shame' though' 'Well, I think it is. Is that allowed?'"

Of course it's allowed. I just think anyone who says it sounds like a patronising twat that's all

answerrewsna · 30/07/2017 17:31

Let it goooooooo let it goooooooooo (MyChild)

WonderLime thanks for posting a link to the document. The brochure seems fine, nice and keeping it reale, in fact.

But as one can see you can't please everyone.

rogueantimatter · 30/07/2017 17:31

Well I don't know for sure about Bertrand, but I think it's a shame that babies aren't BF. They almost all used to be and if there were more milk banks almost all babies could probably have breast milk.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2017 17:33

You know what? I can't be arsed. Carry on. Make stuff up. Be as rude as you like. I'm out of here. Have fun.

User843022 · 30/07/2017 17:33

'And, incidentally, the colloquial expression "It's a shame......." does not mean that whatever it is is shameful.'

Ok. Disappointing then, regrettable. Are you overweight bertand? Would you like anyone to think 'its a shame you were overweight'? or would you in fact agree it's condescending, patronising

answerrewsna · 30/07/2017 17:35

www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-40479231

A happy antidote to all the naysayers.

User843022 · 30/07/2017 17:38

Ah that is an encouraging article answer not sure of the relevance but nevermind.

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