To think the 'information' the midwife gave me is almost propaganda?

[ethelfleda]

Recently had 24 week appointment. This is our first. Midwife asked if I had thought about feeding yet. I said I plan on breastfeeding. I say 'plan' because (as with everything else baby related) I am trying to keep an open mind as from what I hear, things don't always go according to plan! So I will try hard to breastfeed but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out for us.
She handed me a 20 odd page pamphlet thing and said it contained useful information on caring for a new born.

I started to read it today thinking it would be basic NHS info on how to feed, wind and change your baby etc. It was actually 20 odd pages of info telling me basically that if i don't breastfeed, my baby is more likely to develop cancer (as am I) as well as be admitted to hospital in their first year of life etc etc among other very scary statistics.
The language used was shocking IMO! And seemingly designed to make women who don't/can't breastfeed feel awful! Has anyone else had this information handed to them and thought it was way over the top??

I lost half the blood in my body giving birth to my son and couldn't breastfeed as a result of this.

On the flip side, SIL had PPH requiring transfusions with all 3 of her babies (was put into induced comas with each one - first needed 11 units of blood and the third a hysterectomy). Not saying it was easy but once conscious she managed to breastfeed them all.
*

-* ok, so your SIL managed to breastfeed after a pph, that doesn't mean everyone can. You make it sound like it only Id tried harder I could have done it?! No actually, I nearly died and was in a terrible state. Once I was stabilised my body produced NO colostrum and subsequently no milk. My baby was losing weight and severely dehydrated. But yeah, because your SIL managed it I should have persevered

But yeah, because your SIL managed it I should have persevered hmm"

No. that was not what was said.

But you highlight very clearly the point that being positive about bf is just not allowed in Mumsnet. Neutral is as close as you can get.

The NHS should spend less money on bloody fliers and more money on physically supporting women to breastfeed.

"Can't you see why it was wrong if them to ask me to attend at that time?"

No I certainly can't but that's probably because I don't expect the world and the national health service to revolve around me.

I was unable to breastfeed my 2 boys, in both cases they were so hungry I had incredibly sore bleeding nipples, and my first started throwing the milk back up. I already had mild PND but the way I was made to feel a failure made it worse. I didn't even try with my daughter but nothing was said against it

@BertrandRussell I am actually pro breastfeeding and have no problem with people being pro breastfeeding. I was very upset at not being able to. I've found a lot of pro breastfeeding people simply don't accept that it is physically impossible for some people to breastfeed. I've had many comments, like the one below, implying that if I'd just tried harder I'd have been able to, which I find really hurtful as I tried bloody hard and couldn't.

I just think where possible women should try.

I find it an odd attitude to not even entertain the idea.

I accept that others disagree and that's fine, that's the whole point of having an opinion.

There is no right or wrong.

How many of you think it's insensitive to ask a woman with a miscarriage to be on a post natal ward or have to attend for a scan in an antrmnatal tome?

I had to go for weeks and weeks as someone who could never BF my child and every time there was a new MW or aHcp It was torture. It really did not help my mental health and it went on for months.

My GP and HV were supportive of me

I've not read all the thread (first page and a few on this page) so I'm referring to the op mostly

My DW had similar experience with her midwife appointments and leaflets, and was similar in wanting to breastfeed but wasn't aware of how difficult it could be. She tried really hard to breastfeed our daughter but really struggled to, and the feeling of "I'll be harming her if I don't manage to do this" actually made breastfeeding more stressful and that started a vicious circle. It really negatively effected her mental health, and she really really did not enjoy the first month or so of parenthood because she felt she was a failure. They stayed in hospital for five days entirely to try to get baby fed and dd lost lots of weight and nurses had to feed her formula to stop her starving (while DW tried to nap to recover from exhaustion or while I tried to console DW and stop the floods of tears).

The information provided goes over the top in my opinion, they could leave out some of it. There is a level of information that is useful to give to convince people that breast is best without having to make people think they if they don't their baby will die because if their bad parenting.

My baby was combination fed for several weeks and after that on formula - Formula that is made specifically to cater to babies needs, and is constantly improved scientifically. Bottles have a breakdown of all the nutrients and formula companies compete to make the healthiest formula.

Lol at sparechange:

"And let's not ignore that 'breast is best' has mostly come about because it rhymes nicely

If breasts were called 'brines', the catchphrase would probably be 'brine is fine' and the guilt and pressure would be less"

Some other slogans maybe:
Boobs are food
Norks before forks
Give them a tit for a bit

'Make nipple their tipple'?

Ooh, I like 'Give them a tit for a bit'.

A lot of this is about the clash between more or less reasonable, population-based assumptions and individual circumstances. When my dd was born, perfectly healthy, weighing 2.5kg at term + 10, one HCP asked me if I had smoked during pregnancy. I bloody well had not - I'm a rabid ex anti-smoker. I was a bit offended, tbh. But the question, faced with a baby unusually small for gestation and no other obvious reason for that (apart from me and dh being tiny ) was fair enough, really. In the same way, it's fair enough for HCP, ignorant of the facts, to comment (judgement and tutting are never OK) on why an apparent decision* not to bf has been made and check the mother knows the facts.

*'Decision' in the same sense as the 'elective' in ELCS, i.e,. often not much of a 'choice' at all.

'ignorant of the facts of an individual case', I meant.

"and the feeling of "I'll be harming her if I don't manage to do this" actually made breastfeeding more stressful "

Do you feel women shouldn't be given health information during pregnancy because it might make them distressed if they're unable to breastfeed?

Would anyone be able to say what information they feel should be given to pregnant women about the benefits of breastfeeding?

Do you think that midwives should be encouraged to not pass on health information if they suspect it might distress a mother?

How should they make the decision about who to withhold facts from?

Mini. I think the situation I was in they should not have been pushing information at me or tutting or making snide comments.

Because those facts didn't apply to my situation.

Would you agree?

Yes - I absolutely agree, if the information was given to you after you had stopped breastfeeding and there was no option of continuing in any capacity, then of course it's pointless to talk to you about the benefits of breastfeeding. Pointless and unkind.

But what about the OP? She's only 24 weeks pregnant.

Do you think she should be given full details of the current evidence on the benefits of breastfeeding?

Mini. thank you. That at least validates my complaints to my doctor in a sense.

Yes I started to bf. At a very early stage I was told to stop immediately and it was clear at that point I would never feed my baby again myself.

The fact is, many mothers now will have been FFed and/or their parents will have been too so we know it's not poison.

I was BFed, but both my parents were FFed along with my uncles and they made it to adulthood and other than a young death due to skin cancer have made it into old age in good health.

So I don't buy that it has to have dreadful consequences to FF and when my MW dared to tell me she "would be very disappointed in me" if I FFed I ignored her and did what worked for me, my babies and my family. And if I have a 3rd I shall do the same.

"Mini. I think the situation I was in they should not have been pushing information at me or tutting or making snide comments"
Of course they shouldn't. What were the appointments you were going to?

When did this thread become all about Mychildcouldnotbreastfeed and her very particular, uncommon situation?

You really sound like you need to talk to someone Mychild. I hope you get the help you need to enable you to move on.

As I explained Bertrand they were monitoring appointments for my child.

And the HCP knew why you were there but still pushed bf on you? That's just bizarre.

And yes, the information on BF should be given, as I have said. But it should come with a line in it that says something to the effect of breast is Best but not always.

It's totally blindsiding when something you expect to happen doesn't happen due to no fault of your own and I would have liked at least a bit of warning that despite me having no problems there were medical conditions that could mean I would be forced to stop feeding my child breast milk.

As I said Bertrand. No. They didn't. Once they got to know me they stopped but as a random mother in the room with all the other mothers there for BF support me with my bottle and screaming child - yes they judged.

I did say earlier I will take forward the suggestion of a sticker on the red book. And on notes.

But yes they did judge. And tut. And roll their eyes.