Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To not want to make pancakes straight away?

80 replies

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 09:51

friday nights I generally work until 12 ish, then can't go to sleep straight away so generally sleep around 1am. Saturday is my only lie in day (by lie in I mean 8ish, not late!) ATM while DH isn't playing golf as I also work Saturday night until 12ish then am back in for 8am.

The problem is, once I am up, and before I have even had coffee, the children are nagging me to make pancakes.

But I don't want to straight away! It is the only wind downtime I have so want to drink coffee wake up for a bit rather than heading straight into the kitchen (which is generally a mess form the night before as I am at work!) have to clean all that up then cook. (For context, in term time I am up before everyone during the week, despite the late nights and do cook them pancakes or porridge or bacon/eggs. Dh also usually plays golf so can't sleep in Saturday's. )

I offered to do themfor lunch instead but Dd is now throwing a tantrum! Sigh.

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 29/07/2017 09:53

Why can't your dh do it?

How old are the kids?

dementedpixie · 29/07/2017 09:54

Could you get them too assemble the ingredients/bowls, etc for you while you have your coffee? What age are they? Could you supervise while they measure and mix?

HeartburnCentral · 29/07/2017 09:54

Could your Dh clean the kitchen the night before while you are at work, as a compromise for missing every Saturday morning?

CoughLaughFart · 29/07/2017 09:56

You're the parent - tell them no.

BingoFlamingos · 29/07/2017 09:58

How old are DCs? Can your OH get up?
I would leave activities colouring / tv/ games out to play alone or have a film on downstairs, and chop some fruit/snacks and put them in a tuppaware and say to DCs.
You have to wait until the big hand is on the six and the little hand is in the middle of 8 and nine until you come and see mummy. And then we can have pancakes for lunch or snack later! But if we are naughty we can't have pancakes at all?
But the children in my life go into a mad panic when they get threatened with not having anything at all. 😂😂
Hope you get sone rest xx

Original poster

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 10:02

Term time saturdays dh plays golf so is out early - half seven ish.
Holidays he gets up first to go to work (I am up around half seven) so gets the Saturday lie in.

Don't even start on cleaning the kitchen while I am at work! I cook dinner before I go, so it is literally stacking the dishwasher and doing the pots and dessert bits and making the kids taking their dishes into the kitchen rather than leave them in the lounge

Kids are eleven and under but two have ASD. Youngest won't go anywhere, even the toilet or upstairs/downstairs, without an adult.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2017 10:04

You're the parent - tell them no.

I totally agree with this.

Original poster

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 10:05

For clarification, I HAVE said no. I was asking as Dd is now having a mega strop!

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 29/07/2017 10:05

Your dh is the problem here. He needs to clean the kitchen before you get in from work.

I know how fraught life with children with additional needs can be. He needs to knock the golf on the head and step up. Golf can take a whole day. When do you get time to yourself?

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2017 10:07

Is it your daughter with ASD that's throwing the tantrum? To be honest, that totally changes the situation and it would have been useful to mention in the op.

ZacharyQuack · 29/07/2017 10:10

Have serious words with your DH about him not cleaning up after dinner. It's disgraceful of him to leave the mess for you to deal with the next morning.

Instigate a new weekend morning tradition with your kids. Ceral in PJs while watching TV, then pancakes for brunch a bit later.

Try Nigella's instant pancake mix if you need to produce pancake while half asleep.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 29/07/2017 10:12

My DCs are the same - every weekend they ask for pancakes, like the one day I don't have to be up early and they can sort themselves a bowl of cereal they want me up and working! I tell them they can have them for brunch/lunch (add some bacon or eggs for a bit more of a meal) and not before.

Setting expectations helps so they know to get themselves something else when they wake up, they're not waiting around for me.

Crumbs1 · 29/07/2017 10:12

Tell your daughter to stop stropping or he'll never be pancakes again.

Original poster

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 10:13

apologies for the drip feed!

DH is fine. He works hard and DH golf has been a thing since before children. He isn't playing ATM as he has another project on. It is generally fine. I do the house and kids and he works hard. He come home early so I can work evenings during the week. He does golf Saturday and I have the kids and I work Sunday and he has the kids. I work from home too during school hours. It balances fine and we manage with no paid childcare, which, given their issues, is the best thing for them. I don't really need much time for myself, except Saturday morning for a hour or two onthe Couch! I don't go out as have no friends so that bit isn't an issue. He has no problem if I do want to, or do occasionally, go out . We have our routine and we are happy with that. except he needs to do the kitchen

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2017 10:13

Tell your daughter to stop stropping or he'll never be pancakes again.

She has autism.

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2017 10:16

Cross posted with you again op.

I totally understand why you'd need an hour of peace. Do the children respond to countdown clocks etc so you could at least get enough time to have a coffee before dealing with the day?

Your dh is really selfish for leaving the kitchen in a mess. That really needs to change.

CurbsideProphet · 29/07/2017 10:17

Does your H actually do anything to contribute to running the house or sorting the children? Why are you doing everything while he plays golf?

Florriesma · 29/07/2017 10:17

Is she the one with autism though? It wasn't clear.
Can the dc be asked to stack the dishwasher on the promise of pancakes?

indigox · 29/07/2017 10:18

DH isn't "fine" if he can't take 5 minutes in the evening to fill a dishwasher or make HIS children breakfast 1 morning a week.

littleducks · 29/07/2017 10:19

Not useful for today but could you make and freeze some pancakes so they can just microwave one or two and add toppings. Probably not quite as tasty but passable they sell birds eye frozen pancakes so must be doable.

DonaldStott · 29/07/2017 10:21

Can't you buy them just for a Saturday?

Hidethecrisps · 29/07/2017 10:21

Sounds as if everything works for you rest of the week and it's just Saturday morning breakfast that needs sorting? Our children's weekend breakfast is usually brioche. They feel they are having something special but no prep required. Can you find something like this that will suit yours? ready made pancakes? (Expensive and not that tasty though) or crumpets/croissants?

YouTheCat · 29/07/2017 10:23

Yes, he works hard but so do you. Everyone needs downtime. Just because he's always played golf doesn't mean it has to continue forever. Circumstances change as our families grow.

Needsomeflapjacks · 29/07/2017 10:23

We are having pancakes for lunch.
Ask the dc to design a menu with various topping opinions to pass the time til lunch. Pancakes all round!!

Witchend · 29/07/2017 10:24

Totally irrelevant, but my df used to go for golf on Saturdays at 7am. I remember going with him a few times, which I loved. He probably hated though He took me whenever I asked though.
I must have only been about 3 or 4yo because he stopped playing when I was about 5yo (took it up again about 10 years later) I think because he felt it was unfair to go out on Saturday mornings and leave dm with 3 dc. (or 2 when I went with him)

Flip

1 2 3 4