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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to make pancakes straight away?

80 replies

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 09:51

friday nights I generally work until 12 ish, then can't go to sleep straight away so generally sleep around 1am. Saturday is my only lie in day (by lie in I mean 8ish, not late!) ATM while DH isn't playing golf as I also work Saturday night until 12ish then am back in for 8am.

The problem is, once I am up, and before I have even had coffee, the children are nagging me to make pancakes.

But I don't want to straight away! It is the only wind downtime I have so want to drink coffee wake up for a bit rather than heading straight into the kitchen (which is generally a mess form the night before as I am at work!) have to clean all that up then cook. (For context, in term time I am up before everyone during the week, despite the late nights and do cook them pancakes or porridge or bacon/eggs. Dh also usually plays golf so can't sleep in Saturday's. )

I offered to do themfor lunch instead but Dd is now throwing a tantrum! Sigh.

OP posts:

kaitlinktm · 29/07/2017 10:27

I don't know if I have got this right - have I?

He works full time, comes home early (what time?) to look after the children whilst you work evenings during the week. You also work from home during school hours and do all the housework.

He plays golf or some similar hobby on Saturday whilst you look after the children and then repays you by looking after the children on Sunday while you ... oh ... work.

This is grossly unfair. You should both have equal leisure time - you don't appear to have ANY.

But then I might have got something wrong.

Oysterbabe · 29/07/2017 10:28

You don't need to clean the kitchen first, just knock up breakfast quickly then do it later once you've had a bit of downtime. Presumably you'll be making them breakfast anyway? Pancakes take no time.

NormaSmuff · 29/07/2017 10:30

my dd was also very demanding of pancakes
in a minute is a good phrase to learn op

colacolaaddict · 29/07/2017 10:30

I think you need a new family tradition of pancakes for lunch, or something they can do themselves (coco pops?) for Sat breakfast in the hols.

The upset has happened for this week but you have time to prep them for a new routine for next week.

And you need a better split of chores generally. Our kitchen is cleaned up every single night, usually by DH after he's done kids' bedtime. I still only make pancakes occasionally! My 10 year old can make up the mixture now but it's quicker and tidier if I do it.

YouTheCat · 29/07/2017 10:31

Why should the OP clean the kitchen when she made the previous night's dinner and is also on breakfast duty again?

Rainybo · 29/07/2017 10:35

Ready made pancakes are your friend.

Serialweightwatcher · 29/07/2017 10:36

Not such a healthy version but you can buy them ready made for the microwave ... I know this isn't the point and DH needs to do more to help but even if you can get him to do so, this is an option. I feel like I'm running a cafe in the school hols

Original poster

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 10:37

Oh god I have this all wrong, don't I! I never know what to include in the op as I don't want to make it too long.

Dh - works full time, also runs a business at home (sorry!) after the kids are asleep and has a big project on ATM. Very supportive, and fully acknowledges he couldn't do what he does without my support. Getting home early so I can go to work means 6pm, we literally pass at the doorway. Plays golf Saturday's except ATM due to said project. Is very good about taking days off if I am ill with migraines or other health issues I have had. He is a good man, we just have different tidy standards. He also cooks Sunday's night for when I get home and Saturday nights when I work.

Me - kids, house, appointments etc. Work evenings weekends around 25 hrs plus run a business at home.

Ds 1 and dd have ASD.

Our routine works for us and we are happy. It is just the cooked breakfast issue on a Saturday. Can't freeze, microwave, pre cook or buy in as dd won't eat them due to ASD.

Anyway, kitchen done, DH watching kids, off to cook th damn pancakes for brunch.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts! :)

OP posts:

colacolaaddict · 29/07/2017 10:38

"in a minute is a good phrase to learn op"

With my child, this should only be used when you are prepared to do the thing in exactly 60 seconds, and only if you want to spend the intervening 59 seconds being counted at, loudly.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/07/2017 10:39

He should be doing the pancakes. It doesn't sound as if you have any leisure time at all.

FuckYouDailyMail · 29/07/2017 10:41

It sounds like your DH is a good man OP so have you spoken to him about how stressful you find this? There may be a compromise in there that works for you both.

DillyDilly · 29/07/2017 10:45

Do you need to work evenings and Sunday's - could you at least not work Sunday's ? From reading what you've written, your DH isn't considerate of your needs at all.

He should be cooking and tidying up after all dinners if you work evenings. And he should at least only play gold every second Saturday.

CoxsOrangePippin · 29/07/2017 10:45

DD is right that only fresh ones work! But might she like this recipe, which has become our weekend go-to as it involves none of that hassly buttering, pouring and flipping while the cook gets hot and everyone else is at the table already?

The quantities given make enough for 2 people not 4, and there is no need to let it sit for half an hour after blending (but if it buys you half an hour back in bed then do let it sit).

www.thekitchn.com/recipe-big-pancake-dutch-baby-recipes-from-the-kitchn-5232

CoxsOrangePippin · 29/07/2017 10:46

And YANBU to want a well deserved lie in!

ComputerUserNotTrained · 29/07/2017 10:49

I couldn't be doing with cooking breakfast in your shoes. The kids would be having Cocopops, or crumpets if they were lucky. I'm a shit mum though

Slimthistime · 29/07/2017 10:55

.? So dh is there now? Why doesn't he do the pancakes?

Original poster

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 10:56

@colacolaadfict that made me laugh! Mine count at me too! Also, has it been a minute yet? Has it been a minute yet? Has it been a minute yet?.....

Dh can't cook evenings as we switch at the door at six, the kids need to eat earlier.

Leisure time a non issue. My work is generally fun and we have a laugh all evening, weekend shifts. I don't need to go out etc plus only dh to go out with and childcare isn't workable for that. Work is my time off :) plus when the kids go back to school I will have all day to work without them (previously home ed one child) so have that time off to run about doing the housework, work and get head space!

This wasn't about Dh, or at least wasn't meant to be! It was more about my guilt at saying no to dd!

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 10:58

Would it help if you set an alarm for a certain time and tell the children that is when you will make the pancakes. If your children have iPads then the alarm can be set for them or buy a cheap clock and stick a pancake on the numeral, so when both hands hit that time, it's pancake time. If they have difficulty reading times then set for BOTH hands on the same spot, eg 5 to 11 or 10 past 2. That way you can relax until pancake time.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/07/2017 10:59

No, I'm sorry - he can bloody well learn to at least tidy the fecking kitchen up while you're at work! None of the rest of what he does gives him ANY excuse for not doing that, NONE of it.

He may or may not be able to do the pancakes - and if he can, and he's there, then he should - but at the very least he should sort the bastard kitchen out.

You might think he's playing fair, and he might, but you're still the one picking up the slack all the time and that's Not On.

Original poster

PancakesAteTheChildren · 29/07/2017 11:01

Povertypain, actually that is a simple but genius idea that I wish I had thought of!

It works for other things during the week in the holidays as I know when they ask is it ten o'clock it means they want crisps as I said years ago that straight after breakfast is too early for crisps and they should wait until at least morning tea at ten!

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 11:03

Easy for the kitchen, only you know if it's acceptable, however I do think your husband should help in some way. Even if the dirty dishes were organised, eg scrap food into bin and stack dishes in order, such as large plates together, glasses, etc. That way you're not coming home and starting from scratch. If the children are able he could get them to help. My youngest loves matching plates 😄

QuackPorridgeBacon · 29/07/2017 11:05

If you and your husbands routine works and you are happy that is all that matters, ignore those clearly looking to have a go at someone and ignoring what you originally asked.

If just keep saying in a minute, just wait and no until the time you want to do it. Might not get any peace though while they keep asking is it time yet lol

The clock idea sounds great though.

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 11:05

My youngest has SNs and I was getting tired of trying to explain to her that when I say her laptop has to go off at 10pm that 10.59 is not still 10pm. 😆

Groupie123 · 29/07/2017 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 11:07

Oops I meant 'as' for the kitchen not 'easy'. If you saw the state of my kitchen right now! 😳

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