brazen disrespect from DD11

[LurpakIstheOnlyButter]

DD has a phone which she got as a birthday present, preparation for high school, so she can ring me if stuck etc or loses her key.

When she got it I password protected the Google Chrome app and put safesearch on the Google Search bar and YouTube as parental controls.

This evening she had her phone in her room and accidentally cast YouTube to the TV we were watching in the lounge. I called her down so I could turn it off and realised that what she was watching was a walk-through video on how to switch off the safe search feature!

I am obviously fuming that a. She would go against my desire to keep her safe and b. Abuse my trust in her.

I have now password protected the app so she cannot use it and told her I am very very disappointed in her, that she is not an adult and as such cannot have free access to whatever she chooses, it is neither safe nor appropriate.

Have any of you experienced similar? How do you control access to inappropriate internet content for your tweens?

All advice gratefully received!

@Silverstone67 set up a YouTube account and have it logged into both devices

My 9 year old loves you tube... thatcher joe, zoella, oli white etc. As long as she isnt watching porn or horror stuff its ok think.

Confiscate the phone for a few days and make it clear why you put those controls in place (and why they're staying there). This is just the beginning of the social media/ phone fun and games so it's a good idea to make sure she knows that there are boundaries and consequences now.

I have put an app on my phone that means I decide what apps she can access, when, for how long etc.

There is a swear dictionary so that texts with those words get flagged to me.

Do make sure to consider the bundled software, e.g. Hangouts on google.

It seems excessive but given she hasn't even had unlimited access to the internet yet, I am starting out draconian and will relax as she gets older and understands more.

Kids YT (youtube) is a must in my view.

awaywiththepixies27 jacksepticeye was exactly what she was trying to watch and the language is ridiculous! I can live with the odd swear no problem but it seems to be a constant barrage of fucks!

To the poster who asked why I posted in AIBU - posted for traffic. I wanted to know how other people approach these things.

I could take her phone away but I would rather not as she walks home alone from the holiday club and I am not always home. I don't want to remove it on weekends because she goes to her dads and I like her to be able to keep in touch with me.

I think at 11 she needs freedom that she didn't have at, say 9. So she is allowed to do things that her younger siblings are not, however she also needs boundaries because she is still a child.

I need to set these boundaries now at the same time I introduce the freedoms and privileges so we both know the rules and I am consistent in my approach. I have locked YouTube in response to her actions and she will have to earn back the privilege. (YouTube kids is rubbish apparently and she has no interest)

She is a bit of a loner as she isn't part of any of the cliques from school so won't be using friends phones and doesn't care about facebook and snapchat etc. She whatsapps her cousins and her boyfriend (very sweet, not a snogging relationship!)

I like to hear how those of you who are already dealing with these things think because I am not assuming my attitude or approach is right and there is always room for improvement - particularly when it comes to raising kids

silverstone

Log into the YouTube app with your Google account

Her account is all linked to mine so I can see what she does. I made this clear to her when she got the phone

*like not lime

worriedmum

I was thinking along the same lines, giving her a little bit at a time and relaxing the rules as she gets older

Get her one of those really basic models you can just call and text off.

You're right to put in place all the measures you have.

I don't think a lot of parents or kids realise that under the terms and conditions children have to be 13+ in order to have accounts with Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat and WhatsApp.

I wouldn't bother saying about "betraying your trust" to her. It's a bit heavy.

You sound like you're on top of things. I feel like I'm too thick to know what they're trying to do.

alicia555 they would die at that age. THE SHAME. My daughter has a better phone than I do, which is ridiculous perhaps but it was a birthday and christmas present