Or is 'D'P an arse

[CroissantwithCheese]

I've written about him before, we have problems going back a while, but things have been better recently. Only now I'm going back to work seems his arseholeness is back. This morning I had a meeting at my new job. I told him last night I was a bit anxious in case I'd be late etc (first meeting at my new job). We all had a bad nights sleep because DD has a terrible cough. I got up and started getting ready this morning. I organized a babysitter to come and take her so he could go to work. Poor DD was tired and upset but I didn't have time to console her as much as I'd like. P lay in bed doing nothing, just letting DD cry, and letting me run around like a blue arsed fly trying to get me and DD both ready. At one point I asked him to get up and help, he said "I'll get up when I want". WTAF? Are you fucking 12?!

He texted a few times today as if nothing happened. I took DD to the doctor in case it was something serious, so he checked in on that. I told him I was picking up dinner, he said good idea. Then never came home. Still not home and no call or text. WIBU to just tell him to fuck off in the morning? Complete and utter selfish lazy bastard.

Sorry, I really need to vent and can't talk IRL.

[Jux]

Don't waste your time fighting him. Just tell him that you are no longer happy and want to separate. Let him rant, but don't listen. When he's finished repeat that you want to separate.

Is he likely to get physically violent? Does he kick the cupboards, slap the wall, throw things? Keep your phone fully charged and with you at al times, Be ready to phone the police - 999 - if he starts doing any of those things.

[CroissantwithCheese]

Opening this up again because it all kicked it again this morning, on my 3rd day of work.

So you haven't even started the job yet and your DP is already being a caveman?
He obviously hates the idea of you returning to work as that means he will have to pull his finger out and actually participate in getting the morning routine moving smoothly(as opposed to lying in bed and leaving it all to you).
He's really not happy about you being "an equal partner" is he.

This is exactly what happened the last two mornings. I asked him what was wrong with him, that he could lie in bed while the baby was crying to be picked up and I'm trying to get ready and out the door. After heated exchanges he told me to go fuck myself. I said he's the laziest and least responsible person I've ever met. This is the last time. I'm done. He thinks I should be thankful because he pays the rent, and does as little as possible besides. I am more sure than ever that this selfish prick doesn't care about anyone but himself and has zero respect for me. My and DD will be a hundred times happier without him.

[CroissantwithCheese]

We never got a joint bank account though I was trying for ages to get us one so we can share the expenses more fairly. He has a bad credit rating so most places won't take him (we're not in UK and that's the system here). He pays rent and sometimes food if we go shopping on a Saturday. I have been paying for internet, all food shopping bar what he gets, and everything for the baby. He seems to wrongly assume I need him for this money. He's wrong, I don't need him for anything.

[CroissantwithCheese]

We're renting, and even though I found us this place he's refusing to move out (because I made him l age his last shitty tiny flat). The fight is not worth it. I'll find us a new place and leave asap. The landlady may not be happy though, she's been dealing with me all along. Maybe she doesn't want him to stay, who knows!

[WineAndTiramisu]

Good for you, you'll be much happier without him!

[blueskyinmarch]

Well done OP. You and your DD do not need the lazy cockwomble in your life.

[Neverknowing]

Well done op!! That's such a big step, your life will be so much better !

[Jux]

Well done, Croissant!

Now phone your landlady and ask if she'll take his name off the tenancy and let you change the locks, if you can afford it on your own, and want to stay there.

Otherwise, onward and upward, hire a van, load eveythng and let him sit in his own shit.

[Calvinlookingforhobbs]

Well done OP. You can do this.