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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think no one should be spending £200 on a night out?

73 replies

Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 13:51

DH on a stag do today/tonight and i think he's massively taking the piss.
After hotel, train tickets etc, he had 120 to spend on going out today/tonight and has just asked me to transfer him £80 (joint money) so he'll be able to buy more alcohol.
Aibu to thank that's a ridiculous amount of money to be spending?
I'm also going out tonight for a few drinks, and will be spending £40 absolute max. It's not like they're going to an expensive city or anything.
But it is joint money, so I don't think I can be too annoyed. We both have pay days before any bills are due out so I know he can afford to spend that much. But we're also failing at saving for a mortgage. But we have both been really good with money recently and this is a one off occasion.
Thoughts?

OP posts:

Anecdoche · 28/07/2017 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

namechange20050 · 28/07/2017 13:52

I think it's a one off. Let it slide. If it was every month I would see you point.

Needsomeflapjacks · 28/07/2017 13:52

Transfer him the £80 and then you take another £160 out for yourself. . .
Thai is how I made my exh realise his spending. .

TheNightmanCometh · 28/07/2017 13:53

YABU to think nobody should. Not your business unless it relates to you or people who's spending directly impacts you. YANBU to think he shouldn't, if you're not managing to save for a mortgage.

Pengggwn · 28/07/2017 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyheartbelongstoG · 28/07/2017 13:58

Do you each get spending money every month?

Floggingmolly · 28/07/2017 14:01

He'll be eating / spending the afternoon doing something as well as drinking, won't he?

SheSaidHeSaid · 28/07/2017 14:01

I think it depends on what's going on at the stag and where they've going because come clubs can cost at least £20 just to get in and then the drinks are over £10 each. It'll soon add up.

If he did it all the time it'd be different. For this one off and a stag I wouldn't mind.

MeanAger · 28/07/2017 14:02

It depends where they're going, how many there are etc. Some places you can buy tables, table service and expensive champagne, etc.

Whathaveilost · 28/07/2017 14:03

I thought by the title of your thread you meant NO ONE at all should depend that much! I was going to tell you to Sod Off, that's my Friday night money!

If it's a one off it's not too bad.
I always take a lot more than I need knowing it's not compulsory to spend it but I have a comfortable reserve about me.

Tilapia · 28/07/2017 14:03

What is bothering you OP? Is it the money itself or is it that you're worried about what he's spending it on? If it's the former and it is a one off for a stag night, I'd let it go. If this happens often, you need to address it as part of a general conversation about budgeting rather than focusing on this occasion.

If it's that you think he's getting a lap dance then that's a different conversation.

BarbaraofSeville · 28/07/2017 14:05

This is where personal spending money helps. You each get an equal budgeted amount after essential household expenses including saving for a deposit and it pays for nights out like this. Therefore if he has a big expensive night out, he has to cut back elsewhere, or you both agree to take a bit extra out of the joint account.

But it doesn't matter if he spends loads of money on a stag do or gadgets, or you spend a similar amount on beauty treatments, clothes or other stereotypical things that men moan about women spending money on. Apologies for blatant sexism, but you know what I mean. It would be exactly the same if he went in for weekly back, sack and crack waxes and you had a power tool fixation.

talkingtofrank · 28/07/2017 14:05

I don't think £120 is a massive amount if he is paying entry into a club for example, paying his share towards a taxi and maybe grabbing something to eat, it soon adds up and it is a horrible feeling having to mentally calculate how much you will have left if you spend something. As long as you can afford it, let it go, if you can't afford it then he probably should have been a bit more careful but it is easy to get carried away.

AgentProvocateur · 28/07/2017 14:06

Depending on where they're eating, he could easily spend £200 on a night out. The last few times I've been out (and not in London) it's been about £16 for a cocktail and £10 for a large glass of wine. Throw in some g&ts, wine with dinner, club entry fees and it could easily come to £200.

GinaFordCortina · 28/07/2017 14:07

I'd wonder why he was spending it on.

MaxPepsi · 28/07/2017 14:08

A full day and night on the lash for a special occasion?
I'd want a minimum of £150 to be on the safe side. I hate not having enough to the point I need to think about what I'm ordering.
I wouldn't necessarily spend it but if I feel like a couple of bottles of prosecco that's £50 gone without even trying.

Original poster

Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 14:09

I do understand some people will spend more than 200 on a night out, i just meant DH really

I think it's just that fact that it's a lot of money to me and that's a months food shopping. But It's not like we need that for food shopping, or for anything apart from the mortgage saving. I just think it's a lot.

Considerably less angry, thanks mumsnetters.

It's not a regular occurrence at all, i can't remember the last time he spent hundreds on a night out, so I will let it go.

Definitely not worried about any lap dances, no

OP posts:

Groupie123 · 28/07/2017 14:10

If he was in a major city it could be 50-100 pounds to get into a club. He might be buying rounds. He might need to use taxis. A proper piss up in central london/manchester/birmingham often costs 200 pounds plus.

milliemolliemou · 28/07/2017 14:14

Grief £200 on a night out? does everyone going spend this much? I'm off to invest in nightclubs in major cities.

Original poster

Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 14:16

milliemolliemou It's not even a major city, It's a small town think how much you'd earn in a major city!

OP posts:

GinaFordCortina · 28/07/2017 14:17

He might be buying rounds.

Is he the only one buying rounds?

hazeydays14 · 28/07/2017 14:18

I completely understand where you're coming from OP. Me and DP are saving for a deposit on a house at the moment and if he spent £200 on a stag my first reaction would be 'WTF???' followed by 'calm down it's only a one off'. Any 'unnecessary' spending when I'm saving makes me feel guilty/selfish/irrational

GinaFordCortina · 28/07/2017 14:18

Also wondering how I've ever managed a night out in London without spending anything like 200 pounds. Suppose it wasn't a "proper" night out

BarbaraofSeville · 28/07/2017 14:20

I know, millie. People pay these prices?

I generally don't buy wine, cocktails or spirits in bars in the UK because I consider it such a rip off and that's at more like £8 a drink not some of the prices quoted on here. Last time DP and I went out for a meal it was £65 and while it was nice, I felt a bit ripped off.

£200+ for one night out. Makes a weekend in Magaluf that would probably be cheaper look much better value.

Bluntness100 · 28/07/2017 14:20

If it's a one off no I wouldn't have an issue with it, it's as much his money as yours, he tends to be good with money, you can both afford it, and he's an adult who can make his own decisions. They may be having dinner, drinks, taxis, it all adds up, and it's surprising how quick you can spend it. I assume also he maybe won't spend it all, just wants to ensure he has enough buffer.

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