Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think no one should be spending £200 on a night out?

73 replies

Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 13:51

DH on a stag do today/tonight and i think he's massively taking the piss.
After hotel, train tickets etc, he had 120 to spend on going out today/tonight and has just asked me to transfer him £80 (joint money) so he'll be able to buy more alcohol.
Aibu to thank that's a ridiculous amount of money to be spending?
I'm also going out tonight for a few drinks, and will be spending £40 absolute max. It's not like they're going to an expensive city or anything.
But it is joint money, so I don't think I can be too annoyed. We both have pay days before any bills are due out so I know he can afford to spend that much. But we're also failing at saving for a mortgage. But we have both been really good with money recently and this is a one off occasion.
Thoughts? Hmm

OP posts:
HipsterHunter · 28/07/2017 14:23

To think no one should be spending £200 on a night out?

No one? No one can ever spend that much?

Quite easy to rack up £200.

Easily drop £80 on a group meal if its somewhere half way nice.
£25 ticket for a club night.
£20 uber home
Could easily have a £80 round if you're getting in a round of G&Ts!

Original poster
Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 14:25

Forgot to add he already budgeted for food, so the £200 is just on alcohol/greasy kebab at end of night

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 28/07/2017 14:27

You said he had £120 to spend on going out today / tonight
How had he already budgeted for food?

redjoker · 28/07/2017 14:28

OH often (once a month?) spends 200 quid on a night out, starts drinking in the afternoon, buys rounds, food, taxi. His money and the mortgage and bills are paid so i'd rather let him crack on

Personally I once went out with a fiver and came home with it, but those were glorious university days. Now ill spend £40 and feel cheated

He's military so every session with them is big. No such thing as skipping a round. Not right for everyone but depends on who you are with, where you are etc.

JoshLymanJr · 28/07/2017 14:28

If it's a one-off then I don't think it's too bad (although I think he'll get the "I spent HOW MUCH???' feeling the next day) - obviously depending on how money you actually have spare.

DW was on a hen do last weekend and was complaining that she spent £80 (chipping in for food, transport, etc.) and only had four drinks, so it's easily done.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 28/07/2017 14:29

If it's a one-off and he's already on his way, I suspect there's been a bit of 'how much have you brought with you' chat or the best man's dropped that they're doing an extra activity or something.

If it's not habitually an issue, I'd let it go.

BarbaraofSeville · 28/07/2017 14:30

If people are spending £80 on rounds I bet there are others who are ducking out or buying cheaper drinks on their round.

Original poster
Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 14:32

"After hotel, train tickets etc, he had 120 to spend on going out today/tonight"
Food included in the etc bit, he hasn't paid for hotel yet either. Had this separate along with the food money so he wouldn't spend it on alcohol.

OP posts:
ScruffyLookingNerfHerder · 28/07/2017 14:34

Whats all this "let it slide" and "let it go this once"?
Isn't it joint money, in which case you both get to have a say on how it's spent? It's not his to take, nor yours to give - it's shared.
Or are you all OK with your OHs telling you how much money you can have? Wouldn't that be controlling?

GinaFordCortina · 28/07/2017 14:39

If we were saving and I spunked £200 on a night out I'd expect to hear about it... because it is joint money. Personal cash, crack on. But as you said "you both get a say on how it's spent". That doesn't mean one person spends it all and the other gets no comment

GinaFordCortina · 28/07/2017 14:41

It depends on what most people's circumstances are. For a lot of people that much money would mean the difference between paying the rent or not. It isn't controlling. That's a lot of money for most people,

redjoker · 28/07/2017 14:50

Agree with the above, OH free to spend 200 of his own money but i'd have something to say if it was Joint!

HerOtherHalf · 28/07/2017 14:52

Forgot to add he already budgeted for food, so the £200 is just on alcohol/greasy kebab at end of night

Booze - £40/50 max
Greasy Kebab - £10 max

What's the rest going on? Lap dancers would be a fair bet seeing as it's a stag do.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 28/07/2017 14:55

I don't think £200 is that bad tbh, food, transport, entry to clubs etc...

Also most cities you can add £2-3 on top of drinks you would pay at say your local club.

I personally think £200 for food and drink etc... is reasonable fair.

MaxPepsi · 28/07/2017 14:56

4 pints an hour at approx £3.50 each, likely to be more. For 12 hours.....he's out day and night. That is £168 just for himself.

redjoker · 28/07/2017 14:58

What's the rest going on? Lap dancers would be a fair bet seeing as it's a stag do.

My OH must be getting lap dances all the time lucky thing. Personally can easily see where the rest of the money goes without it necessarily being on half naked ladies

GinaFordCortina · 28/07/2017 15:01

Except he'd be dead Maxpepsi if that was 'jut for himself' Hmm

OhOurBilly · 28/07/2017 15:03

I used to easily be able to spend £200-250 on a night out. Couple of bottles of champagne. VIP table. We worked in the industry so got freebies a lot too. Round of jaegerbombs for 10 would be £50.

Yanbu to want him not to spend it though.

famousfour · 28/07/2017 15:07

Yikes! Did someone say £50+ just to get into a club? So glad my partying days are over... an extravagant night for me would be probably £150 at most but including dinner, entry, drinks and a cab home.

Whether he 'should' be spending this though is entirely a matter for your joint finances. If you don't have a set amount of spend each there's always a balance...

Sound like you might need to rethink how you are saving for your mortgage if this type of thing is impacting. Do you make sure your savings come out before spends?

JoshLymanJr · 28/07/2017 15:07

Booze - £40/50 max

Not a chance - even in our little backwater if you start your night out at 7pm and finish at kicking out time you'll be spending £50 easily. The drinking on all day stag do will set you back way more than that.

kali110 · 28/07/2017 15:16

No yanbu! Is he going somewhere else?

needsomesunshineandwine · 28/07/2017 17:05

That doesn't seem that bad, it's a one off. As long as it's not skinning use!

kmc1111 · 28/07/2017 17:51

£200 seems pretty reasonable to me. Get into a couple of clubs or just one pricy one, buy a couple of rounds of mid-range booze...that can easily be most of it gone. If they've pooled their money and got table service in a decent club, again, that'll be most of it gone.

If he was just having a normal night out with friends I'd expect him to rein it in a fair bit more since you're saving, but on an occasion like a bucks/hens night it's a real downer to have to opt out of the rounds and just drink cheap beer all night. It's one thing to do it if you're actually skint, but he does have the money.

Chrisinthemorning · 28/07/2017 18:01

I agree with you in that finances are joint and both should be on board with how much is spent.
OTOH I think if as a couple you are both ok with it, it's fine. You earn it, you spend it! So you can't say no one should spend that, just your DH shouldn't, as you feel that your family cannot afford it (or can't thoil the money as we say in Yorkshire!)

Bloke1976 · 28/07/2017 18:06

Had a quiet night out in birmingham recently. I wasn't drinking so on soft drinks. I still managed to spend £25. It does rack up.

On my last stag do, I took £200. This included a trip to the races. I went home with £60, but only as I'd managed a couple of wins. The money was spent on beers, curry, lunch. Drinks for the stag. He could spend £200 fairly easily if it's an all day event.