To give up work and become a SAHM?

[YouAreMySunshine9]

This is more of a 'what would you do' but I suppose I am posting here for trafficking Have name changed as the figures I give will out me.

First DC is due soonish and I'm thinking, after maternity leave, that I should give up my job because financially, it's not worth it and I want to SAH with DC as it'll have more benefits to it?

Myself and DH are both low earners. I earn just under £20K, he earns £21K.

We aren't entitled to anything with us both working, but, somehow top ups would make us better off if one of us didn't work?

I'm quite a poorly person, I have an autoimmunity disease so I have a feeling working just to pay childcare (if it even ends up covering that?) and missing out in DC's first for it will send me into despair.

My concern is... The whole career break thing. I would go back to work when DC is a few/3 years old but I'm not sure how it'd impact my job prospects. I work as a Medical Secretary in the NHS.

I would say work part time, but I'm not sure we'd get any help there either and it's a lot of huge effort just to fork out to pay for childcare.

What would you do?

I'm really worried

OP

Just read through the thread and tbh I think you sound sensible and down to earth. I also have health problems and had a hard time on here when I mentioned DH and I claimed tax credits.

As I mentioned earlier you could think about claiming PIP if your condition worsens, there is also ESA. I claimed this cont based after my maternity leave finished and I had PND (and other health problems too). It can be cont based if you have enough NI conts based on your previous few years in work. CAB would be able to tell you about this.

It might be worth looking at whether tax credits or Universal Credit is available for new claims in your area. If you have a mortgage that will need budgeting for as well as neither of these help with that I think. What happens is with my ESA, is it is assessed as income in terms of the tax credits calculation. You can also if needed, get free childcare for a few hours a week - I only used this a little when really poorly but it is an option if your illness worsens.

It might be a good idea to sit down with your DH and do a budget together as to how each option might work, in preparation. In future, I don;t agree with what people say here, I'm sure you could get some admin work in the future. And it is so much easier when children are older, school age for example, I think (Looking back on it, mine are 8 and 12 now)

My other option was to stay at work in the children's nursery I worked in as a teacher and have half price full time nursery care for my DCs- still would not have worked out very much and would be long hours for both of us.

Anyway, I think the responses on here have been a bit overwhelming and negative and how the OP can manage to make a good decision based on the future. Kind thoughts.

Gonegonegone- yes of course it's outsourcing some childCARE. The post some of us objected to wrote about outsourcing the CHILD. Carefully chosen words I suspect to just be spiteful.

Typo. Of course that doesn't make sense

Sure...

I think that it would be great if the state could subsidise one new parent out of every couple to stay at home until DC are three.( if they chose to do so of course)

They'd have to raise taxes I suppose, although I consider the benefit to children and society as a whole would become immeasurable over a generation or two.

Of course to achieve this taxation would necessarily need to rise, as a higher rate tax payer that's fine with me. I have no issues with higher taxation for a fairer, healthier society which is why I also support higher taxes to safeguard NHS provision and to stop it being sold to the likes of Virgin health.

To answer OP, of course you should stay at home with your baby if that is what you have chosen, your partner agrees and you have worked out your entitlement to the very last penny.

My partner stayed at home and we claimed tax credits a few years ago, however it was acceptable to do so. Tax credits weren't benefits back then, the ideology was wholly different and my MC friends on one teacher's income claimed so that she could stay at home with her three DC.
Nobody batted an eyelid.

Unfortunately for OP she is a victim of this insidious right wing rhetoric which has been going for the last seven years and has been wildly successful in dividing and conquering the WC/MC.

Just whatever you do, don't look up.

I agree that if you're too ill to work, benefits are there to help. But, that cannot be the only thing they're there for

No, they are also there for people who genuinely can't find work. Or to top up those on low earnings. They are not there so people can decide to have kids, quit their jobs and live off the state.

We are only talking three years here, though, not a lifetime. It is not wrong to see your own child through its pre school years. You can't lump them in the same pot as 'benefit scroungers

Of course it's not wrong, if you can afford it. It's wrong when you can't and have the state provide for you when you have a perfectly good job. If this isn't benefit scrounging, I'm sorry, I don't know what is.

We spend billions per year on benefit fraud and abuse. Literally billions. People putting their hand out instead of working. Benefits are not there so people can decide to be stay at home parents. It's appalling that anyone thinks they are.

You are aware that what the OP proposes to do is not fraud?
She is legally entitled to do this.

With this in mind I'm struggling to see the relevance of alluding to the cost of actual benefit fraud to the public coffers.

Irrespective of OPs employment or indeed lack of such, she is not in a position to change fraud and abuse statistics now, is she?

Yes, i think the wording of the OP, to be choosing a lifestyle on benefits is causing some of the replies on the post.

In reality it is more of a situation of long term chronic illness, combined with new motherhood, work and how to manage all of that. Not really a choice to have that going on, now. And how best to deal with that.

Kind thoughts OP and hope you find something which suits you, and remember it might only be temporary. Tax credits and the new Universal Credit are supposed to be in work benefits and over time if you work part time you may come off them more gradually.

It isn't fraud

People putting their hand out instead of working

Tax credits are benefits for those in work

Wish people would get their facts right before posting.

Tax evasion probably costs much more than money spend chasing benefit fraud.

Op won't be living off the state. She has a partner bringing in a full time income.

Yes, they would only qualify for a small amount of tax credits, think the cut off is 25K?

She isn't even choosing a lifestyle on benefits.

She is choosing to benefit from state monetary assistance to top up her partner's low wage so that she may raise her child whom the need for paid childcare, until such time when she qualifies to benefit from state money in another form. I.e., thirty hours of free childcare.

This will facilitate her return to work.

She hasn't chosen to never work, to be partnered to a person who doesn't work and to live long term solely reliant upon the state.

Ironically, given her age she'll most likely actually be working to contribute towards some older poster's state pensions, as will her DH and possibly even her child.

Yet those same posters will begrudge her the benefit of staying at home with her child for a wholly limited period.

Should say 'without' the need for paid childcare, rather than 'whom'.

Someones obviously just got a massive chip on their shoulder. I did a calculation last night. Next year i will be entitled to tax credits and ill be claiming every single penny im entitled to. Id be an idiot not to.

I dont want my kids in full time childcare. So shoot me.

And very few posters are acknowledging that OP will be running at a financial loss if she returns to work afterwards, with a family income which can't sustain that. It doesn't make economic sense to do that.

Hi OP I work in the NHS on a low band, I was full time until after maternity. I requested to change to weekends only, 7-3 and my DP has our son on weekends. Could that be something you could do? Even applying for a weekend role if it isn't an option on your dept. Weekends are more pay so it's much better than been unemployed, plus there's no gap on your cv and you could request to go full time once your baby is in full time school.

It's 23k with one child, for child tax credits that is. Much higher for childcare tax credits and other childcare subsidies though...

Today 10:18 MissAlabamaWhitman

I think that it would be great if the state could subsidise one new parent out of every couple to stay at home until DC are three.( if they chose to do so of course)

They'd have to raise taxes I suppose, although I consider the benefit to children and society as a whole would become immeasurable over a generation or two.

• would love to know what evidence this viewpoint is based on.

Oh I don't know Babbity

Call it a hunch that it might just support both parent and child mental and physical health if they were facilitated to be together until age three or so......

However seeing as you're so interested in evidence feel free to refute my wholly logical supposition with some studies which support the view that it is indeed detrimental in the vast majority of instances for children to be looked after by a parent when they are very young.

You keep referring about working to pay for childcare. It's a joint responsibility between you and your husband though.
All joint expenditure should be added up (home costs, bills, childcare, etc etc) then you pay towards those and have a close to equal amount of disposable income left each.
Keep working for as long as you are able, keep your seniority, time served benefits, pension. Keep your independence- who knows what the future may bring? What if your husband became too ill to work or had an accident?

I've now RTFT and see that you refer to joint family finances so ignore that point in my other post. However I still think you should try to find a way to make it feasible that you both work. I truly believe this gives you more options. Options are important. Choosing to give up work, then rely on partners income plus top-ups has all sorts of risks attached.

Missalabama I may be missing something here, but why should I pay more tax as someone who choses to work full time, along with paying for FT childcare for my own child simply to subsidise someone else who doesn't want to work? At least by paying for FT childcare I'm also providing employment for someone else WHO THEN pays tax into the system in turn. I'm more than happy to pay more tax for education, healthcare etc, but I'm not willing to subsidise someone else's lifestyle choice to be a SAHP.