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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of always being skint!

63 replies

user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:14

Just this really. I know it is true for many families but as a lone parent by the time I pay bills and other outgoings I'm always living in my overdraft by the end of the month.
I work and do receive help with rent etc but it never seems enough and now with the summer holidays I find myself racking my brains trying to find cheap or free things to do but it's miserable never being able to afford a treat or go on a day out without counting the pennies.
I receive no maintenance from dd dad as he's in prison so it's me providing everything.
For example I'm desparate for a new bed but looking at the prices I know it would take ages to save and I feel sad that right now life just feels like a constant battle and I'm tired of it TBH.
AIBU to feel this way or should I just suck it up like I'm sure many have to.

OP posts:
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 28/07/2017 10:19

Poor you, no it's not easy and it's not fair either. How old are you DC(s)?

BastardGoDarkly · 28/07/2017 10:20

YANBU it fucking sucks.

I was skint for years while mine were really small, I've been back to work 9 months, and finally have money.

Any chance of more shifts?

Flowers
Original poster
user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:22

I've only got one she's 9. Just think the stress of the summer holidays is catching up with me.
I love being with my dd but feel bad we can't really go out much due to money.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:23

I tried working extra and lost a lot of my top up benifits so I was in actual fact worse of.

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 28/07/2017 10:24

Similar here, I work, I'm careful with money. Always on the look out for a bargain or way to make things stretch further. 11 year old car. No holiday again. Don't smoke or drink or go out on nights out. Raising two teens on my own. Credit card debt. No fancy clothes or shoes etc. No beauty regimen or expensive hair dresser. Etc etc and yet still am skint and constantly worrying about how to make ends meet. Been the same for 7 years now. Fed up with it.

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals · 28/07/2017 10:25

You are allowed to feel fed up, your doing an amazing job and its hard when they are younger, not much help but I salute you, its bloody hard being the responsible parent and you're actually amazingFlowersFlowers

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 28/07/2017 10:27

If you've turned down extra work because you lose some in benefits then it was an active choice you made. You can't complain of having little spare money when you only want to work the minimum hours for benefit purposes.

You may lose benefits for the extra hours but it should be better knowing you earned it yourself, the more hours and effort you put in the more likely promotions, rises etc will follow.

BarbaraofSeville · 28/07/2017 10:29

Sympathies. Is there anything on your council website - holiday clubs, free museums, parks etc, activity days at the library?

Anything here that can help?

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help

Could you change your bank account to one that is cheaper for your overdraft? Some banks pay cash to switch to them.

Can you spend as little as possible on food to free up money for days out? Eggs or beans on toast, baked potatoes, walk to the nearest supermarket if there is one nearby to see if there is anything good on the reduced counter?

Could you get a bed from somewhere like the British Heart Foundation charity furniture outlets or freecycle?

Good luck!

MeanAger · 28/07/2017 10:31

So ignorant rainbows! If she is worse off after working more hours then of course it doesn't feel better! Add to that the extra chilldcare you have to pay to cover those extra hours. Don't even talk to me about trying to cover Summer holiday care!

Original poster
user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:31

I work more than minimum hours anyway rainbows but thanks for making that assumption.

OP posts:
YouAreMySunshine9 · 28/07/2017 10:31

Rainbows But extra shifts aren't always available, they're often not often available at all, so giving up a stable top up and relying on extra shifts with mouths to feed isn't the best option really, is it?

FooFighter99 · 28/07/2017 10:33

I'm in much the same situation as you are OP. Always down to my last £5 (of a £250 overdraft!) and both DH and I work full time and earn a decent amount!!!!

The only way we can afford big ticket items (beds, sofas and the like) is to buy them on Very.co.uk as I have a credit account that I pay £30+ off each month.

You do have to be extremely careful not to rack up a massive bill, but if you are sensible and only buy the things you really need and always pay more than the minimum amount, accounts with Very or Littlewoods are really useful Smile

BarbaraofSeville · 28/07/2017 10:35

Is there any financial help available for DC when a parent is in prison?

There are a few charities that aim to help prisoners' families - can they help you access any grants?

Original poster
user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:35

Will look into British heart foundation for beds didn't think about that thanks for the idea.Flowers

OP posts:
MeanAger · 28/07/2017 10:36

In my last job there was nowhere to be promoted to. I was minium wage, it was a small business with just my manager above me who was going nowhere and was on the grand salary of 10p over minimum wage Hmm sure as shitting I was going to knock myself out for that.

millmoo · 28/07/2017 10:36

Biscuit -ever been in the situation that op is in rainbow and unicorns ????

cushioncovers · 28/07/2017 10:39

Rainbow Biscuit

MeanAger · 28/07/2017 10:39

For beds (and all furniture really) I swear by Facebook selling pages and gumtree. I got a single divan bed and mattress for £15 on gumtree from a charity. It was immaculate!

CatInTheMat · 28/07/2017 10:40

OP I sympathise, I desperately need a new sofa as my current one is falling apart (it's nearly 20 years old) but I cant afford it. I work full time and like you forever living in overdraft.

I also live in a country with very little support for single parent's, its so fucking hard.

I can never afford to to go on holiday, my DD is a teenager and it's sooo much more expensive and she already goes without many things her friends have (fancy technology, branded clothes etc).

BastardGoDarkly · 28/07/2017 10:41

Oh turn it in Rainbows the knowledge of Earning it yourself, won't put food on the bloody table Angry

Summer holidays are hard op, the extra food and activities are a real pita.

Does she have friends she can have over?

Original poster
user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:48

yes she's had a few sleepovers but I still feel pressure to do stuff with them as they get bored.

OP posts:
ChickenBhuna · 28/07/2017 10:48

You have my sympathy OP. My situation was similar for many years. It's incredibly hard and demoralising.

Have you tried freecycle?

Original poster
user1490465531 · 28/07/2017 10:55

not tried free cycle but I will

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 28/07/2017 11:01

Yes Rainbow OP's job might not BE the kind you can "get a promotion" in!

We don't all work in offices you know.

Some people are cleaners or carers. Not much hope of a pay rise for them is there!?

She should work extra for less to feel good about herself whilst not being able to pay bills should she?

Bollocks she should.

She should be paid a decent wage!

MrsOverTheRoad · 28/07/2017 11:02

OP the only advice I've got is to look at your already stretched budget and try to cut something out or to think about retraining. What is it you do?