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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my cleaner has quit - says my house is difficult to clean! embarrassed

396 replies

allaboutthatsass · 27/07/2017 22:16

So I've had a cleaner for 3 hours pw for the past year. She cleans our 3 bed detached and does our ironing. All agreed when she was hired.

Sometimes she comes alone, sometimes she comes with 2 staff (and they might finish in an hour).

She's now quit, saying my house is just too much for her. She says I have too much ironing to be done in 3 hours and that I'm not doing anything in between her visits.

I work full time as does my husband (in fact he has two jobs, a sunday is the only day I see more than an hour or two of him a day whilst awake). Our DD is 9.

I've never been houseproud, I admit, and I'm crap at ironing BUT my house is not tidy. There is zero clutter. I do my laundry daily, I make the beds, put stuff in the dishwasher, open windows for fresh air, I really try my best with the little time I have.

I'm very embarrassed that she thinks my house is too much work. My mother and sister tell me I'm a lazy shit (they are both a bit aggie and kim) but my friends say my house is a normal family house so I don't know if AIBU or my cleaner is?

I hired her to help me but seemingly my house is that bad she doesn't want the money...

we have a mutual friend and according to this friend if I want her back then she wants more money to do my house due to the amount of work she feels needs done every week. I pay £30 for 3 hours a week. I have recently had a drop in pay so not really keen on paying more.

Can anyone help me with advice on managing housework without a cleaner on such little time?

Oh and in addition to my full time job, I'm also a distance learning uni student as of September, so even less time!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 28/07/2017 02:43

You need to tidy up for your cleaner. You also need to do your own ironing or cull your wardrobe and only keep items that can be dried and folded.

Original poster
allaboutthatsass · 28/07/2017 06:47

You will see that I corrected my original post where I accidently said my house is not tidy when I meant to say my house is not dirty.

I'm actually very tidy - I don't leave things lying about. My DD and DH on the other hand are messy but I always insist they tidy as much as possible before cleaner comes. DD hates cleaner cause of the fact she has to tidy up for the cleaner coming - see I do try.

There is one bedroom cleaner has been asked not to tidy because it is DH's home office and full of boxes etc so it's a 3 bedroom house with only 2 bedrooms to clean.

OP posts:
Lucysky2017 · 28/07/2017 06:51

May be just change cleaners in that case. Ours did ironing originally when here 5 mornings a week and put all washing away and also put the food shopping delivery away, although much of what she did dwindled to nothing over the years as she chose to reduce her hours.

AccrualIntentions · 28/07/2017 06:54

That sounds a lot to do in 3 hours. Our cleaner comes for 3 hours a week to do our 4 bed semi. I've been in the house while she's been here a couple of times and there's no way she'd have time to do a load of ironing too.

JustMumNowNotMe · 28/07/2017 06:58

3 hours is doable for a surface clean, but you need to drop the ironing. Just do it yourselves between you!

I'm not being funny but we both work full time, out from 6.30-5.30 and have a baby, a toddler and a 10 year old and get the ironing done. Just do it whilst you watch the TV!

Ktown · 28/07/2017 07:03

You need to tidy and you need to send your ironing to the dry cleaners.
You also have to do your loos in between visits otherwise it is grim!

Ecureuil · 28/07/2017 07:04

The thing is, if you can't afford more hours and the cleaner says she can't do it all in the time you're paying her for, you've got no choice but to do some of it yourself, have you? Otherwise, what do you suggest? She cleans quicker? She does more hours for the same cash?
We had a cleaner 2.5 hours a week for our 3 bed family home (£13.50 an hour). There's no way she would have had time to do the ironing too.
You either need to free us some extra money or free up some extra time to do the jobs yourself (by 'you' I mean your whole family)

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock · 28/07/2017 07:06

What you need to ask yourself is - could I do all the housework AND the ironing in three hours? If the answer is no ( which I suspect ) she is not being unreasonable - also depending in where you live £10ph is cheap

gingerh4ir · 28/07/2017 07:08

I live in a 3 bed house and I spend far more time cleaning and ironing than just 3 hours a week. I am really gobsmacked that one thinks that the cleaning and the ironing can be done in such a short time.

AdalindSchade · 28/07/2017 07:13

Ok but it's still not enough time
You have to take the ironing off her task list and do it yourselves if you can't afford to pay someone to do it

Bluntness100 · 28/07/2017 07:13

Op. I really don't understand your point in justifying it like it's reasonable. She's not going to come back and do everything you want in three hours and no one else will do it either.

So either you up her hours, do more yourself as a family. or it doesn't get done.

She's clearly told you you have too much ironing and don't do anything between visits, opening the windows, doing your own laundry, loading rhe dishwasher and tidying stuff away does not count as doing stuff. There is no cleaning in there.

This isn't a case of she's unreasonable so has to come back and do it. She doesn't, neither does anyone else. your options are above.

To be honest, you don't sound remotely embarrassed, you sound like you think she's hugely unreasonable not to do it and you want her to be forced to come back and do it all for you for 30 quid a week.Hmm

coffeemachine · 28/07/2017 07:14

most people I know with nice houses, are SAHM or work part time. I don't know any full time friends who don't have a cleaner.

you seem to frequent very particular circles of the society then. this is not normal (most of my friends work full time and I don't know anyone who has a cleaner) Grin

peachgreen · 28/07/2017 07:16

OP everyone is telling you the same. It doesn't matter if she's cleaning 2 or 3 of the bedrooms, 2 hours isn't enough to clean your house AND iron. I have a small 2 bedroom terrace which is immaculately tidy (not a boast, I have no children and a v tidy DH so it's easy!) and I clean my kitchen and bathroom in between visits - my cleaner still needs 2 hours!

Either pay her more, outsource your ironing elsewhere or do it yourself. There are no other options.

peachgreen · 28/07/2017 07:16

Sorry, those 2s were meant to be 3s! Can I blame baby brain?!

NoSquirrels · 28/07/2017 07:17

OP your posts seem to be justifying why the cleaner is unreasonable, not taking on board the fairly unanimous advice that 3 hours for a house (albeit 2 beds not 3) AND a week's worth of ironing is not enough time.

Your DH and DD don't sound very helpful, so whatever you do in terms of being tidy will be a drop in the ocean if 2 out of 3 people don't get onboard.

I suggest you have a family meeting as it is a family problem, and decide between you a) what ironing is vital & who will do it and b) some rules for a better system of tidying up.

Then find a new cleaner.

greendale17 · 28/07/2017 07:17

I don't know anyone that has a cleaner- and that includes mums that work full time with very young children

Passthecake30 · 28/07/2017 07:19

Reading this just makes me want a cleaner. It just seems the norm now! I must be a slattern as I iron, and clean our house way under 3 hours, work FT and can't be naffed.

rachrach2 · 28/07/2017 07:21

I'm in the South East and £10-£12 is the going rate - £10 is perfectly normal if you're providing all the cleaning materials and equipment. We have a 4 bed with 1 bathroom and 1 downstairs loo and it takes 2.5 hours for them to clean (basic clean).

Sounds like she doesn't want the job any more or she'd ask for an extra half hour or to do less ironing rather than just leave. Don't be embarrassed, your house sounds very normal!

ApplesTheHare · 28/07/2017 07:22

We have a cleaner and both work full time with a 2 yo DD but we also both clean and tidy up ourselves for at least 20 mins per day. Our cleaner does 2 hours per week, but that's only possible because we keep on top of it in between. Oh and no ironing! 🎉

AccrualIntentions · 28/07/2017 07:24

Coffeemachine - you must also frequent specific circles, practically all my friends have a cleaner and not all of us have children. But we all work and can't be arsed to spend our weekends scrubbing the bathroom.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/07/2017 07:27

I work full time and still manage to fit in the cleaning and the ironing. It's not that difficult to do.

Agree with others that you are expecting way too much of her in 3 hours.

Ecureuil · 28/07/2017 07:31

Some of my friends have cleaners and some don't, but surely that's fairly irrelevant here?

gingerh4ir · 28/07/2017 07:33

Coffeemachine - you must also frequent specific circles, practically all my friends have a cleaner and not all of us have children.

I don't know anybody with a cleaner either. Not a single person. I definitely think not having a cleaner is much more the norm than having one.

OrgyofSausages · 28/07/2017 07:33

I don't have a cleaner any more but when I did she cleaned our biggish 3 bed and did ironing- it took her 5 hours and she did a really good job.
I manage the ironing myself now and have to fit it in around work etc (got 2 dc) but I have found that if I do a few items ever day/every other day it never build up. I can do 20 mins every day or so and keep it under control.
OP you can't expect someone to clean your entire house and get all the ironing done in 3 hours - it isn't feasible. You need to accept that a cleaner will take longer to complete these tasks. And £10 p/h seems v v low to me, I was paying more than that 8 years ago!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/07/2017 07:35

I think it is a bit much to expect her to do all your ironing AND clean your house in 3h a week, especially if you do washing every day!

Either do your own ironing, or hang it all up to dry so it doesn't need as much ironing and only iron the stuff that is actually creased as opposed to every single thing; OR give her more hours, so that she does the ironing one shift and the cleaning in another.