my cleaner has quit - says my house is difficult to clean! embarrassed

[allaboutthatsass]

So I've had a cleaner for 3 hours pw for the past year. She cleans our 3 bed detached and does our ironing. All agreed when she was hired.

Sometimes she comes alone, sometimes she comes with 2 staff (and they might finish in an hour).

She's now quit, saying my house is just too much for her. She says I have too much ironing to be done in 3 hours and that I'm not doing anything in between her visits.

I work full time as does my husband (in fact he has two jobs, a sunday is the only day I see more than an hour or two of him a day whilst awake). Our DD is 9.

I've never been houseproud, I admit, and I'm crap at ironing BUT my house is not tidy. There is zero clutter. I do my laundry daily, I make the beds, put stuff in the dishwasher, open windows for fresh air, I really try my best with the little time I have.

I'm very embarrassed that she thinks my house is too much work. My mother and sister tell me I'm a lazy shit (they are both a bit aggie and kim) but my friends say my house is a normal family house so I don't know if AIBU or my cleaner is?

I hired her to help me but seemingly my house is that bad she doesn't want the money...

we have a mutual friend and according to this friend if I want her back then she wants more money to do my house due to the amount of work she feels needs done every week. I pay £30 for 3 hours a week. I have recently had a drop in pay so not really keen on paying more.

Can anyone help me with advice on managing housework without a cleaner on such little time?

Oh and in addition to my full time job, I'm also a distance learning uni student as of September, so even less time!

3 hours isn't enough time to clean and iron.

@OlennasWimple OMG am I meant to iron fitted sheets?! I have a strict rule that if you can't see it (because its under the duvet) then it doesn't get ironed (same applies to vests and knickers and socks).

I honestly think you need to either pay more or get her doing less. Your child is 9 so they can help clean and tidy around and it's school holidays so they can do more (mine is 3 almost and does my sweeping and dusting plus keeps his own room clean and bed made). Do the ironing whilst watching tv and do it every other load of laundry so it won't actually take long and that's a job less for your cleaner to do. We both work full time in this house and manage fine in a four bedroom (all the rooms are used) to keep it spotless. Xx

I think people work at very different speeds. For someone paid by the hour it really shows. You often see this on cleaner threads, and I have seen it in RL, too.

Some cleaners can do ironing plus basic cleaning of a 2-bed in 3 hours. Mine does. DSis's cleaner only managed floors, kitchen and 1 bathroom in three hours. I'd say try another.

I can honestly say you're asking a lot from her. I do that a day, with out ironing. 2 children and just me!!!!
Don't you clean the kitchen and the loo/bathroom daily?

I don't understand why anyone does ironing - genuinely! I have one dress that is too short if I don't iron it and everything else in the house is fine. I don't look a mess, my duvet looks fine. I just don't get it. Aside from that, I agree it sounds like too much to do in too little time.

Not rtft

Has anyone suggested telly ironing. Telly makes ironing FUN

I used to wonder why OH always volunteered to do all the ironing (15 shirts ugh) when he was less than willing to do anything else other chores; I thought ironing was the fucking worst

It took me YEARS to work out that a come dine with me omnibus lasted him about the same time; also that 'but I'm I YUR NIIIIING' meant he didn't have to anything disagreeable with dcs etc for 3 hrs and could enjoy his little zen ironing/telly bubble in peace

Plus. You mention distance learning OP- if it's anything similar to OU you'll have a load of material to watch- there you go, LEARN ironing. If not just save up any Shame Telly you want to watch eg 50 shades on netflix etc- noone can be snotty about your tv choices whilst you have an iron in your hand-you have the moral high ground and can do as you please

*Fbpn
I can honestly say you're asking a lot from her. I do that a day, with out ironing. 2 children and just me!!!!
Don't you clean the kitchen and the loo/bathroom daily?"

Whaaaaat? Seriously? My bathroom gets cleaned once a week, my kitchen every other day (I put dishwasher daily and wipe surfaces but don't actually clean it

So we have the not unusual situation of dual working couple with limited free time, limited spare cash and struggling to keep the domestic show on the road. So something has to give. It could be a mix of

• get a new cleaner or old one back for same hours but less work, probably dropping ironing
• find the extra cash for more cleaner hours
• pick up the work of the cleaner in limited free time
• drop standards on cleaning and/or ironing so less time needs to be expended
• get tumble drier which will make laundry quicker and less ironing needed
• get rid of dog (sort of joking but clearly eats up otherwise free time)

I clean a lot of houses. A very uncluttered 4 bed house (but with 6 beds) takes me 4-5 hours without ironing. A three bed that's more 'lived in' takes me 3 hours again without ironing. I say just send your ironing off to an ironing service. Oh, and I get £27 for three hours.. now thinking I need to up my wages!

OP the schedule you describe is not that unusual for parents juggling work and child schedules. Its even tougher for single parents trying to do this.

Yes its hard going but none of that alters the fact that three hours is simply not long enough to do the work and its not reasonable to expect it (and if you are in the SE its not even a great rate for the job). Cleaners also have work, families and bills to juggle and should expect a fair rate for a fair amount of work.

You need to prioritise what you really need done and ditch the ironing. I've yet to meet any parent of grown up children who feels they missed out by having dusty picture rails or some clutter around the house

OP both me and my partner stay at home (on benefits as youngest has had a rough time health wise, I'm going to college in September) and our house is a shit hole lol it's not dirty but my god is it cluttered and unorganised.

I agree she may need more hours but I understand that you can't afford it -we considered a cleaner but we just couldn't find the money- your day sounds so hectic and honestly, I don't know how working parent(s) do it. I just can't get my head around it you both work long hours and do all the childcare yourselves, I mean where do people expect you to find the time to clean?

I know it's doable, obviously but how?

I'd also add that if you really must have ironing done, make sure you have a good quality steam generator iron - will make it much quicker for whoever is doing it. Like a tumble drier it is a cost but I'd suggest likely to be worth it. I'm talking this sort of thing:

ao.com/product/gv6760-tefal-effectis-steam-generator-iron-blue-44508-77.aspx

I'm confused by people saying "make dh iron his own shirts". Surely that wouldn't save time it just shuffles jobs around? If my dh ironed his own shirts then he wouldn't be doing one of "his" jobs which presumably I would then have to do. No time saved at all. Says the woman mumsnetting while dh washes up.

Well we've heard what OP does - what does DH do?

Yes. What does DH do around the house?

3 hours a week is not enough time for cleaning and ironing.

Wrt your request for ways of doing things differently in order to stay on top of everything:

Why do you do a load of laundry every day? Why not spend time at the weekend with DD taking one week's worth out of the washing machine and sorting it out - drying, ironing, folding, putting away together.

You could put the week's load in on Friday night, take it out Saturday morning, and iron some clothes while wet on Saturday morning, with some waiting until dry to deal with later). You could do bedding and towels as a second load on Saturday morning and it would be done and replaced on beds by evening.

Can DD take the dog out when she gets home between 6:30 and 7? Any other dog chores DD could do?

Can DD make her own bed and DH make your bed?

Can you and DD spend time at the weekend doing a little batch cooking so you don't have to face cooking dinner every single weeknight?

You and DD could spend time together on a Thursday night picking up her room together. It could be a nice mum-and-me time together. You can keep the atmosphere light and help each other tidy the room in advance of the cleaner arriving. She could skip the bath that night. The two of you could walk the dog together that night too, with DD holding the lead.

Around age 9 is a good time build up a good relationship with a son daughter, spend time together doing activities that will transition them from the age of merely playing with them to opening up a new stage where they take on some responsibility for keeping the home ticking over. Many households with multiple children could not function unless children of this age and up were contributing.

Children of 9 actually like to be taught useful skills and will lap up a bit of appropriate responsibility if given it. The knowledge that they are attaining competence in important skills and that they are part of the home team builds priceless self esteem, which is vital as girls enter the tween and early teen years. Your role would be to dole out appropriate praise. It might be a more fruitful use of your limited time with DD than entertainment alone.

DD might even be able to cook a meal for the family on Saturday or Sunday evenings. Children take great pride in a contribution like that.

Do you feel you should entertain her all weekend because you are feeling a bit guilty about not seeing her much during the week? If you are feeling guilty, please don't. Your work are providing a nice home, nice things, and a good future for DD, and she will appreciate this (and perhaps your distance learning will help get you a raise or a better job?). A shame you have suffered a paycut.

...time TO build...
...son OR daughter...

I pay £15 an hour - I think £10 is way too low.

My washing drier takes 3-4h per load. If I waited until the weekend, I'd have to do 24h continuous washing, as in being there every 4h to put one laundry out and next one in. I don't do "a bit of laundry every day" but surely do 5-6 full loads a week. Maybe OP is the same, which is why I suggested better stretching / drying / folding, and less ironing

I'd just like to say, don't iron! Hang shirts and easily creased items straight after washing (ones that crease easy can be hung in bathroom when you get a shower or bath as it helps with creases) only iron when absolutely necessary. Then she can get a few other jobs done in that time instead? My mum used to be a cleaner and I dont think she ever ironed, just tidied and cleaned everything else and she only did a few hours per house

Send out your ironing to someone who doesn't mind ironing, and get a (different) cleaner to just clean

Do not offer that cleaner more money, if it was really "too much for her" than a few more quid an hour wouldn't change that!

Buy a *ucking good steam iron. My DH used my mums when we were going to a family wedding and declared 'if our iron was as good as this I would iron everything' (we are very much an iron when you need it family!) I called his bluff and now he irons all his own shirts!!

She has a family of 3 though - wouldn't 5-6 full loads per week be far too much?

She doesn't have any kind of a dryer iirc.

I used to clean a 3 bedroom house occupied by two adults and two children under 5. I did 2.5 hours a week and half an hour of that was ironing. So I didn't do all the ironing. Averaged at about 10 items but they were often very creased! The house was always clean, floors mopped windows cleaned etc. They weren't always the tidiest etc but I always managed it. It involved me getting a move on but completely do able.