that this ISN'T pushing in?

[FlowerSour]

So I went to a local café today with a friend (in Tesco after an hour long shop for some time to myself ) and I only wanted one single bloody coffee. And that's important to note for the next bit of the story.

Anyway, this café has a long serving hatch and you push your tray down from right to left. It goes cakes, hot food, drinks.

I only wanted the bloody coffee. No cake or hot food. And it's just me and two old ladies in the queue, who- for about five minutes- have been standing next to the hot meals bit umming and ahhing over the hot meals. As they hadn't even chosen yet, I sidled past them, got my coffee AND paid for it before they'd even chosen their hot food.

See poorly executed diagram below.

TILL --DRINKS-- HOT FOOD---- CAKES
x ME (after moving) X OLD LADIES X MY OLD POSITION

After I'd done this and paid, one of the old ladies decided to visit my table and announce in a hoity toity voice, "We had manners back when I was your age! How dare you push in front of us!"

She then swore at me, by this point other people are staring, then went back to her friend and continued to glare at me for the rest of my coffee.

Now, who in this situation is unreasonable?

I genuinely don't think I was. They were not queuing to pay... they hadn't even chosen.

So was I being unreasonable for sidling round them to get to the till when they had no intention of paying at that moment in time and were a good five metres away from the till?

Surely I was not expected to wait behind them whilst they spent another five minutes deciding what to have?

And yes, this is a trivial AIBU. I am aware and apologise in advance.

I got abandon trollied this week but the abandoner got back just in time. I felt very slightly irked as only had a couple of items, but then had a lucky break as the next till opened and I went to the front of the queue! That almost never works out for me.

Why is queuing so fraught!!

Not hugely relevant, but worth a look:

i suppose i would have said to them ' look, i'm not getting any food, alright if i just get my coffee ?' then just move up to the drinks bit and paid. I've had this in the past with people thinking i am pushing in, when i;m not, so i usually explain what i am about to do these days. It didnt make any difference to them really , so they were being unreasonable, but some people just like to make a fuss i think. Most places dont have enough staff so queues can get tedious - that is a bug bear of mine ( and people that faff around for ages too)

So there we have it:
"Can I pass by, I'm a diabetic" and you'd be fine, OP

This may be controversial, but to my mind, you aren't part of the queue if you are still staring at the menu/options and deciding what you want. You are just holding everyone up and they are allowed to skip past you.

I've had it most often with mums and little children and endless negotiations of want they want/can have. To my mind that should happen outside the queue. When I'm still deciding I always stand back or wave people through.

Although I did get an earful from a mum once for skipping past her mid-negotiation, although I was still paid and away before she had finished

YWNBU. There is a similar set up in the cafeteria at my work so if you're grabbing a sandwich or a bag of crisps from the shelf or asking at the till for a hot drink and people are waiting for their hot food to be dished up, you go straight to the till ahead of them.

YANBU - I've done this loads of times. She was the rude one.

Absolutely fine, op, you behaved efficiently and correctly
Kerala, of course someone moved your trolley out of the way. If you hadnt started unpacking your stuff, that would be par for the course. Its a bit cheeky if your stuff was already on the belt

Old lady here, guilty as charged, definitely not a ditherer, but can be rude when the need arises.

YWNBU. I would have breathed in so you didn't have to sidle past. Then again I'm used to cafe etiquette, I brave the Ikea restaurant at breakfast time, if you dither at the coffee machine there you get trampled on, usually by large young men. It's like a war zone.

YANBU.

I work in a cafe with the same set up amd we encourage those who just want drinks to come to the front of the queue.

There should be a sign up - waitrose have drinks and cakes on a separate bit to the hot food at our local one, thought that was a good idea. not all places have the space for this i suppose, but it works okay i think ( on the one occasion i went there!)

YANBU. They clearly don't understand self serve cafe etiquette.

It is obvious how these cafes are set up, our local garden centres, Sainsburys, Tesco and Ikea are all the same. You skip the hot food bit and those choosing there to get hot drinks which are self serve anyway so quickly sorted, hence said system.

Even if you had actively pushed into the queue she lost any moral high ground when she swore at you. Rest assured that any staring from other customers was not directed at you! I hope you smiled sweetly.

I would have done the same too. I know when I've been the asda cafe and the queue is long they sometimes say does anyone just want to pay for anything, go straight he till, otherwise you'll stand there for ages while people choose their food. Her manners sound awful anyway.

Again, the attitude that old people are all lovely, and if they aren't, it's because they have dementia. Some people are cunts in their twenties, cunts in their thirties, and cunts all the way up to their seventies, eighties and nineties.

But there was no point saying anything to her. The type of person who will come and seek you out after such a non-event would relish the chance to have a proper row!

YWNBU, OP. Even if they felt you had jumped the queue they ought to have given you the benefit of the doubt, who hasn't accidentally pushed in when the queuing system is a bit unclear?

You were in the right

Of course you're not being unreasonable! If they were still deciding you had every right to go and pay for your chosen item. Not your fault the cafe is badly set out! I've encountered old people like this, bitter, rude and slow. I blame it on old age.

That's what everyone does, they could have been stood choosing for ages! Are you supposed to just stand there?

It doesn't sound like she knows anything about manners.