that this ISN'T pushing in?

[FlowerSour]

So I went to a local café today with a friend (in Tesco after an hour long shop for some time to myself ) and I only wanted one single bloody coffee. And that's important to note for the next bit of the story.

Anyway, this café has a long serving hatch and you push your tray down from right to left. It goes cakes, hot food, drinks.

I only wanted the bloody coffee. No cake or hot food. And it's just me and two old ladies in the queue, who- for about five minutes- have been standing next to the hot meals bit umming and ahhing over the hot meals. As they hadn't even chosen yet, I sidled past them, got my coffee AND paid for it before they'd even chosen their hot food.

See poorly executed diagram below.

TILL --DRINKS-- HOT FOOD---- CAKES
x ME (after moving) X OLD LADIES X MY OLD POSITION

After I'd done this and paid, one of the old ladies decided to visit my table and announce in a hoity toity voice, "We had manners back when I was your age! How dare you push in front of us!"

She then swore at me, by this point other people are staring, then went back to her friend and continued to glare at me for the rest of my coffee.

Now, who in this situation is unreasonable?

I genuinely don't think I was. They were not queuing to pay... they hadn't even chosen.

So was I being unreasonable for sidling round them to get to the till when they had no intention of paying at that moment in time and were a good five metres away from the till?

Surely I was not expected to wait behind them whilst they spent another five minutes deciding what to have?

And yes, this is a trivial AIBU. I am aware and apologise in advance.

Kerala - ywbu. You can't use your trolley to save your place. How long was woman supposed to wait?

Bamboo

That's not my experience at al!!!! Maybe you are looking out for the rude 'old dears'. Maybe relax a bit and you'll notice the 'old dears' who aren't dithering or being rude

on behalf of the older generation I can assure you that most of us are not 'nasty and rude'
I do believe that some 'older people' with early onset dementia can become overbearing and rude (and for balance, some young people who have no such excuse can be pushy and rude)
OP - as an 'old gimmer' I would have been fine with your actions but I would have appreciated a quick do you mind if I go on ahead as I only want a coffee comment.
Most people respond favourably to a show of consideration and friendliness.

Really gin? So if you have big shop and customer in front will obviously be sometime if you go off to get one item and return immediately you have forfeited your place in the queue. Sorry questionmark icon broken on old iPad

Jesus how rude! Of them that is.

I've done the same as you many times OP in supermarket cafes and the like. If my sidling past and getting a drink while they dither doesn't impact on the other customers I'd do it again.

Similarly I've had it done tonne when I'm dithering. I really don't see the issue.

I would've told her - sweetly and politely - that you weren't pushing in but that she was holding up the queue!

Not pushing in.

Nice diagram.

Yabu for using a horrid tesco cafe

Presumably they also get upset when someone who enters the supermarket after them gets to the till before them?

Very weird.

Sounds like she could have dementia of some sort.

which part of the OP makes you think that? Is it just the mere mention of the word old?

Yes Kerala. If you've forgotten something you haven't finished your shop therefore you forfeit your place in the queue. Only exception is if there is already someone behind you and you say "oops I've forgotten x, do you mind if I pop and get it?"

YWNBU. That is the normal etiquette in that kind of cafeteria. If it was busy and coffee drinker queued behind cake And meal eater, the queue would be out of the door, while the coffee server and cashier stood twiddling there thumbs. What a rude woman!

You didn't push in! You went to the part you needed!

Totally agree her manners have been left behind as she 'matured!'

Wow if I saw a temporarily abandoned trolley in a queue I couldn't imagine having the balls to shove mine in front of it - very rude.

Sounds like she could have dementia of some sort of dementia

This seems the be the new Mumsnet phrase! I've seen it on a few threads.

However I have a nice queue story!

In costa a few weeks ago and I asked ds to ring my mum to find out what she wanted to drink. He was struggling to get the information transferred (he has autism) and so I leant over from queue to where he sat (table next to queue) to get an explanation I could understand.
As I leant back I noticed an older gentleman behind me and apologised and went to join the queue behind him.
To which he said "it's ok I know you're in front of me and I'll keep your place if you need to go speak to ds"

I think it depends on the type of cafe. I've been to some where I would skip the people choosing their food to order coffee and I've been to others where it clearly isn't how it works.

Usually in ones where I can skip the people, the food isn't really in the queue persay, it's kind of off to the side and I would pick my food, then go to the back of whatever queue there was.

I really, REALLY hate the spatial layout of those cafes for precisely this reason. They should do something to create a clear visual message that there are two queues, one for drinks only, one for food.

I don't think you were being unreasonable, but this must happen all the time with that stupid layout.

OP YANBU. It's normal I think. The only difference would be if there was a queue in front of them and you had to literally push in, which you didn't.
Re people waiting behind coffee drinkers - why do so many places have the till operator making the coffee??

Kerala - the key word is "abandoned" - how would the person know how "temporary" the abandonment is?

If someone came up.to me and said at least they had manners, and then proceeded swearing at me, I'd laugh really loudly....

That sort of thing is my kind of humour

I've been in similar situations before OP. You weren't wrong to go before them imo. I usually tell someone faffing at the food bit that I'm only having a coffee though before "pushing" in.

It's not normal in England to leave a full trolley at the till to bag a space while you wander off for a leisurely extra shop seen as unacceptable and I have never seen anyone do this in 40 years.

Therefore it's a reasonable assumption that trolley owner dashed off to get one item and will return within 30 seconds so shoving your trolley in front of theirs is bullish to say the least.

The ageism on this thread though

YNBU in principle OP but where I'm from you always wait patiently behind. If you want to go in front for just a coffee then you ask politely. 9/10 they'll let you.

Maybe it's the not asking that annoyed them? Politely asking isn't too taxing is it?

so many old people are rude!

Must remember to tell my 81yo grandma that. Never been part of an argument in a cafe and always polite to others. She's clearly not rude/old enough.