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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Day one of the holidays and DD has already

80 replies

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:32

Had a massive tantrum because she's bored. She is THIRTEEN. I thought these days were behind us.

She woke up at 9.30 and by 9.45 was asking what we were doing today. My response of 'er, nothing' was met with a strop.

I suggested lots of things, a round of Rummikub, helping me sort DD's bedroom (sounds weird but she loves doing it), watching a film. Nope. All she wanted to do was take the dog for a walk. In the rain. With me. Or go to a restaurant for lunch (no money and no transport today).

So she had a full on screechy meltdown. Apparently the holidays are for doing exciting things that you don't do usually and I am the most boring mum in the world ever.

My parents popped in and she's gone back with them. So now I feel doubly shit because she'll be doing nothing particular at theirs either but would rather be here than here.

Me and DS2 have played a game and watched some telly and generally mooched and I haven't even seen the fifteen year old yet today.

Is she actually the neediest teenager in the world ever? I'm not sure how we're going to get through the next six weeks. In previous years she's been in childcare so this wasn't an issue but I'm a SAHM now so it falls on me to make her holidays shiny and exciting.

Kill me now.

OP posts:

toosexyforyahshirt · 26/07/2017 13:35

Shiny and exciting? Fuck that shit. Tell her to cop herself on and grow up a bit.
When I was her age I had a job in the summer holidays (and weekends and evenings through the year). My 13 year old doesn't but they have plenty of chores, and wouldn't dream of having a tantrum about being bored (and we're a month into holidays already).

Sirzy · 26/07/2017 13:36

Write a list of jobs. Every time she is bored she can pick one from the list to tick off!

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:37

Oh believe me I have no intention of pandering to it. But I can't cope with her kicking off every single day when she's bored.

I'm hoping the weather improves and then she can just go out all day. She's like a caged tiger.

OP posts:

ChasingHighs · 26/07/2017 13:37

Can't she go out with her mates?

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:37

I offered her jobs earlier and she snarled.

I thought we'd have at least a few days grace before she was horrible.

OP posts:

ChasingHighs · 26/07/2017 13:38

Or have a mate over?

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:38

I'm assuming her mates are all busy, as that's usually the first thing she wants to do. I know her bestie is abroad.

OP posts:

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:39

I think I need to give her a schedule for the next few days and make it clear that the shiny exciting stuff will happen but NOT every day, or even every week. We go away in two weeks anyway.

OP posts:

Pinkkahori · 26/07/2017 13:40

She'd never survive here in Ireland. 13 year olds have already been on holiday since the start of June and don't go back til the end of August!

KimmySchmidt1 · 26/07/2017 13:41

you're too dependent on your daughter for approval. She is a dickhead 13 year old, her emotions are hopeless, she is actually moaning about not being at school - which is patently ridiculous - and apparently a chronic billy no mates to boot.

Are you her slave? Does she think you exist purely to amuse her? Have you tried taking the piss?

Feel free to show her this post.

MarcelineTheVampire · 26/07/2017 13:42

Kimmy good grief that's harsh - she's a child.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 26/07/2017 13:44

13 and having screechy tantrums? Jeez, definitely assign her tasks.

IHaveBrilloHair · 26/07/2017 13:47

I hear you.
Mine is ok so long as I do what I'm supposed to do and ask her to do nothing.
I do generally but due to health issues sometimes I have to ask, then we have the sulks which will lead to her walking out, she has a UTI so isn't feeling great but for her it's just the latest excuse to do bog all unless it's for her.
Arrrrrrgh.

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:47

I'm not dependant on her approval, really, although I feel shitty that she's rather do nothing at Grandmas than be here.

OP posts:

NancyDonahue · 26/07/2017 13:48

What's she into? Craft? reading? Baking?

My dd is younger but has been decoupaging some shoe boxes for storing her 'stuff' and doing some for friends.

Slime making also keeps her occupied, although it's not cheap!

Baking is good (and useful!) Maybe get her to look up some recipes and write a list.

Invite friends over.. in the hope she'll get invited back.

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:48

Aaaargh indeed.

Whoever invented teenagers needs a slap.

OP posts:

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:49

Nancy I offered all of that earlier. She loves literally everything on that list but none of it was 'special' enough.

She's got a very boring six weeks to go if her bar is set that high.

OP posts:

yawning801 · 26/07/2017 13:49

That's a bit harsh Kimmy!

Pinkkahori · 26/07/2017 13:50

If you got her some little pots of paint (tester pots are really cheap) and a paintbrush would she be interested in upcycling some of her furniture of maybe doing a mural or something in her room?

It would give her a project that's inexpensive and she'd have something to show for it.

Original poster

EssieTregowan · 26/07/2017 13:52

Ooh that is a really good idea. She has a big blank wall in her room.

I'll get her to sketch something in pencil and I can help her paint it.

Awesome. That should cover the next few days, if she's interested. Thank you!

OP posts:

JacquesHammer · 26/07/2017 13:53

Day one of the hols, she's probably knackered and grumpy.

I would write today off and then have a serious chat with her tomorrow that fun things will happen but not every day and that in order to get the fun stuff her behaviour has to be acceptible

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 26/07/2017 13:54

13 years old needing mummy to entertain her? She was still in childcare at 12? I think you made your bed... she could have done with some independency some years ago. Just tell her you won't entertain her and let her strop. And enjoy your time without your little madam while she is at her grandparents house

caffeinestream · 26/07/2017 13:55

I think some kids really struggle with the lack of structure doing the holidays - they just see six weeks stretching ahead of them and have no idea how they're going to fill it.

You can't afford a restaurant - could you cook something at home and pretend? Homemade pizza for dinner? Or do some baking - she obviously wants to do something with you, she just doesn't know what!

IHaveBrilloHair · 26/07/2017 13:55

We need to clear out our spare room so we can move house, she managed to get in the far end of the room and get an armchair out that she wanted for her bedroom, but she can't possibly help me clear it out as no benefit to her.
She's free to have her bf and friends over whenever too, fridge is full, she has money etc, she's fine so long as I don't ask anything of her, the litter trays are her job, plus hovvering five days a week (10 minutes all in for £15), still bloody sulks about it.

LovelyBath77 · 26/07/2017 13:57

My 12 year old is Ok munching about and reading, but they are all different, DS 2 is more demanding. He's 8 though. At 13 she could go off out by herself for a bit and meet friends?

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