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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my husband bu over holiday swimming?

101 replies

Spottyparrot99 · 26/07/2017 10:18

Hi!
My 5yo daughter has had an ear infection. Very painful and bloody pus started running out her ear. I got her straight to gp. Dr Said she has a perforated ear drum. Gave her antibiotics and said keep her dosed up on paracetamol.
Anyway, we go on holiday in two days.
The dr said that she is not to go swimming for 2 weeks. When I explained we were off on holiday she said if we were very careful she could paddle/ splash round at the shore line with Vaseline soaked cotton ball taped over her ear and a swim hat on. She was not to submerge her head.
I told dh. He groaned and rolled his eyes and said "we'll see what my mum says"
His mum was a nurse 20 years ago and hasn't examined her
Dh thinks dd will ok in the pool if we just get some of those putty ear plugs and a swimming head band thing.
Dd loves to swim and is always jumping in and out and going under the water
I know it would be disappointing for her not to be able to go in the pool- but I think that it would be better than causing her serious pain and a potentially much more serious ear infection.
She has never worn earplugs before and I don't know how well they would work with all her jumping and diving.
Aibu? Am I being over cautious? Or is he being unreasonable and endangering Dd's health for an easy life?
Does any one have experience of perforated eardrums? Btw?!
Sp

OP posts:
nigelsbigface · 26/07/2017 12:38

Dd not dad!!

SeaToSki · 26/07/2017 12:41

I always take lollies on the plans for my DCs. They suck on them at take off and landing as it helps with the ear pressure (and gives them something to do whilst everything is put away)

SeaToSki · 26/07/2017 12:42

Sorry planes. Not plans!

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 26/07/2017 12:50

Follow the doctors advice. I perforated my eardrum last year, I have really long hair and decided I need to wash it properly, coz how much of an issue can a bit of clean water really be? I thought the doctor was just being over careful. The pain was unbelievable! perforated ear drums hurt like hell anyway but with water in it was horrendous, I sat on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out it hurt so much! There is also the risk of making the infection worse because anything could be in the water, which could cause massive issues for poor DD.

I would avoid using earplugs too, because of introducing germs to the ear.

DerelictWreck · 26/07/2017 13:04

Not to scaremonger OP but I flew with a perforated eardrum and it's pretty uncomfortable while taking off and landing (changing pressure) so just be prepared to comfort her then!

wibblywobblywoo · 26/07/2017 13:07

Another vote for no earplugs - that would be sheer agony for your DD - the Dr's suggestion is the only thing that's OK - cotton wool balls taped OVER the ear with nothing going in the ear at all - as the old saying goes "the only thing you should put in your ear is your elbow......" Grin

user1498911589 · 26/07/2017 13:08

I once, unknowingly, went swimming with a perforated ear drum. The pain was indescribable and I got out the pool in tears after I'd dived down the the bottom. Your DH is being a very bad parent, though I doubt he'll listen to any reason.

kali110 · 26/07/2017 13:10

Your dh is an idiot.
Hope your little one gets better soon Flowers
Try and enjoy your holiday!

famousfour · 26/07/2017 13:15

Gosh I'd be careful with that and go on holiday armed with calpol and with ear protection for her from splashing.

The only basis I personally would be prepared to let her swim is if she had her ears checked by a doctor I trusted to confirm the perforation had healed and so she could swim. My DCs perforated drum healed within 48 hours (and the doctor said that is not unusual in young children).

famousfour · 26/07/2017 13:18

So practically I wonder if you can get here ears checked again before you go if the ear burst a couple of days ago?

That said I am assuming that this would change the advice on whether she can swim - perhaps it wouldn't and the two are unrelated.

frieda909 · 26/07/2017 13:30

I know you've had enough advice already but just wanted to add my voice to the NOOOO chorus! When I was about 10 I caught a very nasty ear infection FROM the swimming pool on a family holiday and we all ended up having to fly home early. Swimming pools are not the place for perforated eardrums! Shock

Hissy · 26/07/2017 13:43

A holiday with a 5yo is tiring anyway, you can't leave them alone for a second near a pool.

Being on the beach, paddling would be far better for her, and much easier to manage. Buckets and spades and all that.

contrary13 · 26/07/2017 13:45

I'm sure it's been said, by previous posters (am so irritated by the original post that I've not read the full thread) - but when did your husband and/or mother-in-law complete their medical degrees again...?

Having had a perforated eardrum as a child, I know firsthand how painful it is. And having a father who had one as a child... back when GPs weren't listened to... and he went swimming... and now can't hear properly...

I can't believe that your husband is willing to listen to his former nurse mother over a current doctor's advice.

Please, for the sake of your child's hearing - pay attention to your Gp and don't allow her to do more than splash. One day, believe me, she'll thank you.

WomblingThree · 26/07/2017 13:50

Please don't use the Vaseline and cotton wool for swimming while the eardrum is actually perforated. It gives a false sense of security, and can never be completely watertight. It just about does the job for hair washing but even then you should keep that to a minimum too. Our experience of the putty earplugs and head band involved an ENT appointment to remove a piece of the putty from DD's ear canal.

Once the eardrum has healed you will need to be hyper vigilant. Any sign of an ear infection, get it checked and treated straight away.

Your DH is quite frankly an idiot. I am totally serious when I say that I am more than happy to message with him and describe the hell we have gone through with DD's ears over the years. The surgery that other people have described failed, and she now has barely any eardrum left in one ear and is permanently deaf. He needs to understand how important this is. If his mother was a nurse, then she needs to respect the professional opinion of your GP.

YoullShootYourEyeOut · 26/07/2017 13:55

Both my eardrums have been perforated since childhood. I am no longer keen on swimming to be honest because getting water in my ears does give me horrid earache. When I was a kid I always had the cotton wool with Vaseline ear plugs and a swimming hat and I wouldn't have been able to swim without the protection. Surely your DH realises that her actual hearing is at risk and that is more important than taking the easy route of minimal protection!

Original poster
Spottyparrot99 · 26/07/2017 13:56

Thanks everyone. I spent yesterday afternoon really doubting myself and thinking that I might be a bit over protective/ over anxious and ruining her fun on holiday- but feel better now!
Am not going to let her swim. She can paddle and splash with her hat and cotton balls on. That will do. If it makes life easier I won't let her 3 year old bro swim either so at least we won't get it not fairrrrrrrrrr every 20 seconds! Tbh 3 yo dd is that easy going her won't care anyway! Is so easy to assume you're being a total worry wort over these things! I'd rather restrict her holiday than have her hearing damaged forever! Sp

OP posts:
YoullShootYourEyeOut · 26/07/2017 13:58

And I hate to say, but neither of my eardrums ever healed, so I am stuck with them now. However, mine was caused my medical negligence rather than an infection, so your DD could be luckier than me. But please, do take all the precautions recommended by your GP.

ittakes2 · 26/07/2017 15:59

Frequent ear infections as a child has damaged my hearing. She has a hole in her ear drum so any pool water will enter it. It's not worth the risk and if she gets further infection you'll have a child in pain needing further medical assistance in a foreign country,

TheNaze73 · 26/07/2017 16:14

YANBU, he's being a tool

Cutesbabasmummy · 26/07/2017 16:50

MY DS had a perforated ear drum aged 2 and we were told no swimming for 6 weeks! He had to see the doctor again then to check it had healed. He has Waterbabies Swimming lessons on Saturdays and they do lots of underwater stuff. MY MIL is a retired GP and she absolutely agreed.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 26/07/2017 16:55

Dh thinks dd will ok in the pool if we just get some of those putty ear plugs and a swimming head band thing.

She won't bless her. I'm mostly deaf in my left ear from a perforated eardrum when I was 10. Badly infected and needed an operation to clear all the much out, including a couple of my then disintegrates hearing bones Sad

My DD has had to stop her much loved swimming on the say so of her consultant after she started with recurrent ear infections that have been dreadfully painful for her. When do you go away? There are some centres that do swim moulds but I'm not sure how long they'll take to mould then make etc and they are a bit pricey. Plus our aural nurse said to us as DDs is still had at the moment they'll probably refuse to do a mould at the moment anyway. Something to do with them not being able to get an accurate mould if the ear is bad af the time. Please put your foot down OP. My DD also now has hearing loss in her right ear because of all the infections.

Fruu · 26/07/2017 17:30

I remember the pain when I was a teenager from when my eardrum burst. It was almost as bad as when I went in for induction of labour to have my baby recently! We were rotating every type of painkiller we could get our hands on for the two weeks I was off school and it was still unbearable agony of the just-kill-me-now variety.

I developed tinnitus and my hearing is worse in that ear. Even not considering the risk of permanent deafness, the possibility of causing or prolonging that level of pain would put me off any risky activity!

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 26/07/2017 18:15

Once she is over the infection she may need to use those putty ear plugs for a while. Friends Ds perforated his ear drum one side and after the Antibiotics were finished he spent the summer with the ear putty in at the pool. We used to swim daily.

Brittbugs80 · 26/07/2017 19:14

I perforated my ear drum and had an infection in it while in America. I had to seek medical treatment and they wouldn't let me fly. I had to finish a course of antibiotics so had to fly home a week later once I'd got the all clear.

I then had an ear infection while in Cyprus and I only got the go ahead to fly half hour before we left for airport.

Even after flying back from the states a week later, I was in tears on the plane, the pain was awful. Can you cancel your holiday and re-book? I'd avoid water too, I even had to keep dry when showering.

Queenofthestress · 26/07/2017 19:31

My sister is partially deaf because of perforated ear drums and the infections that came afterwards, wouldn't risk it!