To think the system stinks??

[purpleprincessa]

Bit of backstory...

DP has been in the U.K. almost 10 years now. We met when he first got here and was claiming asylum. Asylum claim failed, he went off radar. At the time I couldn't deal with the stress due to me being concerned about my job and whether I would lose it due to his status. (I work in a position of trust)

We got back together 2 years ago and sought legal advice straight away. Few problems with the solicitor not giving good advice and basically trying to scam more and more money, so we changed in November last year.

Applied for an unmarried partners visa initially and provided the evidence required. DP now has to sign on at the Home Office monthly and had an appointment for further submissions in July this year.

We have had to change our application due to me finding out I'm pregnant so are applying for a family visa rather than unmarried partners/ spousal route and have provided evidence of pregnancy (scans, hospital appointment, letter from midwife).

Had news today that the Home Office have denied his application and we now have to appeal (costing yet more money!!)

DP just wants to get the visa so he can work and provide for his family!! We are both feeling so low and the pressure is too much at what should be a happy time in our lives!!

I'd understand if he was playing the system and getting all sorts of money and support but he's not! He's very qualified to get a good job and contribute to the tax and national insurance system!!

AIBU to be pissed off at the system?

I'll go wherever if he doesn't get his visa but I have a stable, well paid job and my own home and my family are close by which obviously means it would be better to stay here.

Think very hard about what is best for your baby.

Are the dangerous traffickers still a concern??
What if your relationship fails, would you be legally allowed to leave his country with your child if he refuses permission?
Have you been to his country before? He has been very keen to leave, what kind of life can it offer your child?
Living in his home country may affect your relationship, especially if the culture and expectations of women and mothers are different to UK, this may profoundly affect your relationship.
If your child grows up there they will feel as though they belong there, not UK. Would you be willing to stay in that country forever, even if you separate? Child may want to stay in that country their whole life.

No sympathy from me either, my husband as an immigrant and we spend 1 year and 8k getting him the right visas

There's a lot about this story that doesn't make sense... think very hard about what is best for your child. I don't know what that is as I'm not you! But the situation in this other country sounds unpredictable at best.

Having a baby is very hard (and amazing and funny and worth it but also just very very hard work) so you need to make sure you have support. Also, investigate the health and education systems of any country you might move to - and visit to see the circumstances you'd be living in. If it isn't easy to visit then that's a factor to consider - how easy would it be to come home in an emergency?

From the Home Office's point of view, your DP hasn't exactly shown good faith (that much is clear from your story) so I'd be prepared for a long-haul. I hate the idea of separating a family too - don't think I'm heartless - but it is going to hard.

So he claimed asylum because he was scared of the traffickers.

But he's a successful businessman who can return safely to his home country at any time...why was he being trafficked in the first place?!!

^ this.

You mean he paid traffickers to illegally get him into the country. Which seems very strange if he is such a successful business man who has made enough money on the past 10 years, from interests in his home country to fund him being here illegally.

1. Why was he so desperate to get to the UK when Italy is a safe country?
2. If he is happy to return home if they fail him again, why didn't he return home when they failed him the first time?
3. If he has homes and businesses in his home country, why is he so desperate to stay in the UK?
4. If he has homes and businesses in his home country, why did he need to be trafficked rather than apply through normal legal channels?
5. If he has homes and businesses in his home country, why did he need to be trafficked over, rather than say book a holiday or a flight to the UK and then apply when he got here?

Answers are...
A. Because he's got no homes or businesses and is a chancer, who saw the OP coming down with last night's rain.
B. The OP is a teller of tall stories.

He's an illegal economic migrant. Stories like his make people turn against genuine asylum seekers as they all get lumped together, no sympathy - you are being played.