GPs fussing over DD and ignoring DS

[twinfinfinfish]

We're on holiday with my parents and a couple of other extended family members this week... this is something I've noticed before but is magnified by being away and is making me feel so sad for my DS.

It is like a bunfight to get to DD(3); everyone wants to be the one to read her story/take her swimming/hold her hand along the road etc...it's almost a bit suffocating and like she has five parents (that's another thread re people not listening to my wishes)

There are endless offers to take her off our hands, but no-one seems to want DS(10 mo)... no-one's offered to do a thing for him, no-one's even taken him for a cuddle unless I've asked them to.

Everyone is constantly saying how beautiful/wonderful/clever/funny DD is (and she is!) but it really draws attention to the lack of positive comments about DS. He's such a lovely little boy, and it's making me really sad.

I don't want to cause a weird atmosphere by mentioning it so not sure what to do really?

Is this sort of thing common?!

What about developing a relationship with both grandchildren Bunny!

Exactly, which is why I said to ignore Thumb's advice to threaten the grandparents that if they didn't want to spend time with the DS as well as DD, the OP would restrict their time with DD.

Dead, by 'snapped my hand off' I mean I didn't need to ask twice...I popped my head in and said 'are you ok giving him his bottle? Do you want me to finish it?' And she was already getting up before I'd finished the sentence...if it had been DD at that age, she would have cherished that time.

Mmmm. I'd perhaps reduce her involvement with your DD. Why does she have to be so heavily involved. How often do you actually see her? Do you want to holiday with her? If she's 'suffocating' and doesn't listen to you, maybe it's time to back off. As the mn saying goes "she's had her turn". Holidays are precious and this doesn't sound much fun.
FWIW MIL favours one of the GC (one of four) since being a baby and it didn't reduce with age. Just built resentment until the others noticed. And if you try to redress the balance it won't be coming from the heart.

"And she was already getting up before I'd finished the sentence...if it had been DD at that age, she would have cherished that time."

Well that is just horrible.

She couldn't even finish a feed that he'd started?

If he was really fractious & she was struggling to calm him then that would be one thing.

You have a babe in arms, I wouldn't be rushing to take him off you at that age.

Do suggest some baby sitting though.

I hate these excuses being made for the grandparents, the different way in which they are treating the children is unacceptable, op, you need to keep a close eye on it. You also need a chat about to them about it, and mabey reduce their involvement with your children if it does not improve, it will only get worse. Op, you said your mum has a prefrence for girls, this is not an age thing.