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Am I being oversensitive and U?

38 replies

Shelvesoutofbooks · 25/07/2017 15:22

Would you be hurt if you found out someone who you considered a friend was describing you to others as overweight + hair colour?

Conversation went like this
A - Oh I see you've met shelves
B, C, D, - oh who? Few people with that name here
A - the overweight redhead

Now I'm 5'7 and 11.3 stone and I think I look pretty good. I feel hurt but feel that I am overreacting. I just think there were many other words that could've been used to describe me, and that overweight was unnecessary.

OP posts:

Pengggwn · 25/07/2017 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justturned46 · 25/07/2017 15:23

I would no longer consider them a friend. . .


WhataHexIgotinto · 25/07/2017 15:24

That person is no friend of yours. Your height and weight are irrelevant, you don't describe someone like that. YANBU.


NancyDonahue · 25/07/2017 15:24

I can't see what's wrong with redhead, but yanbu with overweight.


MrsTerryPratchett · 25/07/2017 15:24

It's shitty. And bollocks because you're a normal weight.


MoHunter · 25/07/2017 15:26

YANBU that was tactless and not how a friend should talk about you.


Phosphorus · 25/07/2017 15:27

Well if it's accurate, and not to your face, I'd say it's normal enough.

People do talk like that, and it's certainly not something I'd end a friendship over.

It's a peculiarly British thing to be so sensitive about weight/size.


PsychoPumpkin · 25/07/2017 15:28

You're justifiably upset in my opinion!


VladmirsPoutine · 25/07/2017 15:28

You aren't being sensitive. But the whole scenario sounds rather gossipy and mean-girly.


Stormwhale · 25/07/2017 15:29

Wow what a bitch. She is not your friend.


MoHunter · 25/07/2017 15:30

Phosphorus but it's not accurate when she isn't even overweight, she is a healthy weight!


FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 25/07/2017 15:30

You're not being over sensitive at all. There are lots of different options to describe you. I wouldn't want this person as a friend.


Shelvesoutofbooks · 25/07/2017 15:37

Thanks everyone. I've been struggling with my weight the past few month and put on about 8 ibs. But this seemed really mean.

OP posts:

Rainybo · 25/07/2017 15:42

I'd rather be your friend than hers.

Chuck that one.


RhubardGin · 25/07/2017 15:43

Wow what a bitch!

She isn't your friend OP Flowers


DonaldStott · 25/07/2017 15:44

You are not overweight. Healthy bmi for 5ft 7 is anything up to 11st 6lb.

I am aiming for that weight at the mo. That is how I know.


DonaldStott · 25/07/2017 15:46

Oh and your mate sounds unkind. The hair colour, not an issue. The overweight bit is mean.


Finola1step · 25/07/2017 15:48

Sometimes people slip up and show their true colours. One flippant remark can show what they are really like, deep down. This person is no friend of yours.


Phosphorus · 25/07/2017 15:49

You might be right.

I'm in the green/healthy zone for BMI, but at 5 foot 2, and 9.5 stone, I definitely look overweight. I feel it too.

If someone described me as the 'chubby Irish one' I'd recognise myself. Grin


ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/07/2017 15:53

Well she's shown how she really feels about you, hasn't she! judgemental.

I wouldn't stay friends with her. I wouldn't necessarily take her to task over it either, and I'd stay civil, but I'd also distance myself now.


Leeds2 · 25/07/2017 15:59

Who told you about this conversation? Are you sure they are telling the truth?


user1476869312 · 25/07/2017 15:59

'Overweight' is rude. If she was, for instance, describing you to someone and needed to make it clear that she meant you and not another, very skinny, redhead, she could have said 'the big/plump/curvy' redhead.

There are times when it's OK to use size as one of the two or three tags for describing a person quickly. If there's a lot with the same hair colour, and everyone's wearing the same uniform (so you can't say 'hair colour and wearing the green stripy jumper') but desribing someone as 'over weight' is critical of them.


Gemini69 · 25/07/2017 15:59

not a friend sweetheart


user1498911589 · 25/07/2017 16:00

Better the overweight redhead than the unpleasant bitch!

YANBU to be offended by your former friend.


SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/07/2017 16:14

At 5'7" I wouldn't consider 11.3 as being overweight.

But even if I was like a housed I wouldn't expect a friend to describe me like that!

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