To want to sign up to something a bit dodgy to try and make friends

[lemonandelderflower]

Obviously, when I say a bit dodgy I don't mean illegal but a selling group.

I don't think I'd be very good at selling things so I'm not too worried about that but the women on it seem friendly and so I'm wondering about signing up for it (it's not very much to join) and just trying to get involved in the social side of things?

Or is this crazy?

I'm enjoying the videos, tips and chats so far.

Ok I've reread and I think I understand now. Tbh I think once they realise that you're not going to sell you won't be in the click. I also think that a lot of what they put on FB is management led - i.e. everyone post this please. Does anyone else notice how it always says "Presenter has sold $xxxx this month" instead of £? Clearly scripted by the US management.

However, if you have the £69 to spend then try it and you'll at least have the make up. I personally think you'll get more from MN

When I was a student, and not spending time with my flat mates and friends I spent a lot of time on Livejournal. I just joined various communities and talked all sorts of nonsense with people all over the world. Sometimes about books and films and sometimes just being annoyed about traffic or uni.

I have no idea if there are still the same numbers of people out there, or if that format of chatting is still "current" but there are definitely ways out there to find other people from home.

It might be common enough but once they realise you're not going to be making them money they won't be interested

Darling - you sound like a really sweet and kind person. You'll be eaten alive by these women. My ex H was a salesman and I've since dated 2 salesmen (I obviously have a type!). Let me tell you categorically, they're ambitious, devious, manipulative and entirely disinterested in anyone but themselves and their conquests. They're borderline narcissists and they're not in anything to lose. Now, whilst this personality can make for great fun, they're only interested in the challenge and then the win.

In addition to having relationships with this type, many years ago I joined a pyramid selling group myself and it wasn't fun. All the worst attributes of the female gender came to the fore and if you're not a salesperson, you'll be dismissed.

Please look elsewhere for fun and friendship.

Hey, I have been part of a make-up selling group that sounds similar to this for the last few months...I didn't join it to make friends but I have found that I really have...I completely understand where you are coming from and I don't think it is a bad idea at all!! I feel incredibly supported by some wonderful women who are in my business....I hope you find the same with yours...good luck!!

Are you saying you want some ONLINE communities to chat to?

As a person who spends a lot of her home time online, I think I understand what you mean, lemonandelderflower.

I've been part of a couple of online communities, and have found that the way in is the thing you're interested in, and then you build up a relationship with the people you chat to - but this comes over time, there's no hurrying it, I'm afraid - can't jump in and expect people to become instant friends (and if they do I'd personally be a bit sceptical) .

In my case, 'chatting' has started through an interest in particular TV shows. I particularly enjoy chatting along with people real-time while watching (in the old days, this meant a laptop on my knee, but I guess tablets and phones are more accessible).

In one case, the forum was a wider interest one, and I'd only touched the margins - over time, I got more involved with chatting to people about other stuff. Now (12+ years later) I consider many my friends, and have met up with them at least annually for the past 10 or so years (and chat with them online most days - and if I'm not actually in the mood to chat, I can at least lurk and see how they're doing).

Are TV or radio things that you do when you're home alone? If not that - what floats your boat? - something you're (even a bit) enthusiastic about will have a forum somewhere, that you can join in.

@lemonandelderflower Just to add - there are also many people I 'know' online who aren't particular friends, who I don't meet up with, but who are there to chat along happily with all times of the day and night.

That's sort of what I mean, crabby. I like feeling part of things even if that's at a distance. I've always liked soaps for the same reason I think!

Aha - in that case you need find somewhere to 'chat along'! At least as a first step.

Have you looked at digitalspy forums (not all threads will suit you, you need to look around IME) forums.digitalspy.com/

Check out Mumsnet Telly addicts here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/telly_addicts

For what it's worth, one forum I use has a TV discussion here justthetalk.com/media

What TV chat forums are there now? I used to go on Digital Spy a lot, there were a lot of crazy people on there, but it was all part of the fun.

It sounds as if you are interested in makeup. Someone mentioned drama groups earlier - they are always looking for people to help out behind the scenes, and a good makeup person is always in demand.

But the nature of MLM is that you'll piss off your uplines by not selling anything... That's it, they'll turn on you and start getting nasty I would imagine It'd be like a gangrenous limb they'd have to chop off.

I don't think they do, really.

Anyway I was just giving the example of soaps, I mean the involvement in other people's lives really.

What TV chat forums are there now?

I chat on previously tv.

Have you seen a website called Girlfriend Social? I haven't been on there for a while but I think you can 'meet' people to be email type friends with - so you could have someone to chat to in the evening etc. I'm not sure if you are really looking for instant response type stuff, so you have a 'conversation' there and then (like on the forums here) or whether you might be interested in meeting new people both in person and over the internet to sort of be penpals with. It is mostly USA based but I was surprised at the number of people on there who are local to me in the UK too.

Op, how about Twitter? Just pick a few hashtags that people are Tweeting about and join in. You can find discussions about particular books or tv programmes or running jokes that anyone can join in with.

Its unlikely you can jump straight into 'involvement with other people's lives' - IMO you need an 'interest' as a starting point, and some patience to find your people and build the relationship.

MLM is not the way to do this, in any case

Are you interested in knitting or crochet? I joined a local group on FB, and I get invitations to stuff all the time. It's very social; lots of chatting, etc.

MLMs are the most fake things you could join. All the 'huns' fall apart as soon as you question their amazing products :/

As you're interested in books try book-crossing.com. It's international so there's always someone on the boards from somewhere in the world. There are meetups all over the UK in towns and cities and bigger weekend events too.
At present poetry/spoken word events are popping up all over the place. I very much enjoy weekend literary festivals as there is always the opportunity to chat to someone about a book or an author. Some are mainly residential but you may find a smaller local one to try.
A friend has made friends at language classes, they go out for meals together. I enjoy creative writing groups, absorbing and stimulating!

Me too lemon !!

Why don't you try the likes of mush/peanut/mummy social?

I'm not a church goer, so not saying this to proselytise ... but it the wanting to be "part of something" sounds as if it would be satisfied by certain types of church communities... They do fill a gap for millions of people...

I used to be part of a much smaller parenting forum which also provided what you seem to be looking for - there was ongoing real time chat and probably only 30 or so regular posters on each board, plus a lot of lurkers and occasional posters, but the regulars definitely got to know one another and met up regularly as well as having ongoing MSN (as was then the "thing") chats most evenings etc. etc. I was also once part of a WW online forum where that went on - again the "in" is a shared interest though, even if that is having a baby or wanting to lose weight rather than a hobby!

I joined an online sewing group a year or so ago because I was going to learn to sew - lovely and friendly, welcoming and chatty, but I never got around to learning to sew so dropped out :o

I think you just have to try things and see what develops - you do have to start somewhere though, and a nominal shared interest is usually the way in!

I'm not a church goer, so not saying this to proselytise ... but it the wanting to be "part of something" sounds as if it would be satisfied by certain types of church communities... They do fill a gap for millions of people...

I thought about this too, but I know church-going is looked down upon on MN. But, a lot of people gain a sense of community from attending church functions.

www.sundayassembly.com/ I read about this a while ago - a church without the religion :o Not as widespread as the conventional church but looks as if it also ticks the "part of something" boxes.