To want to sign up to something a bit dodgy to try and make friends

[lemonandelderflower]

Obviously, when I say a bit dodgy I don't mean illegal but a selling group.

I don't think I'd be very good at selling things so I'm not too worried about that but the women on it seem friendly and so I'm wondering about signing up for it (it's not very much to join) and just trying to get involved in the social side of things?

Or is this crazy?

I'm enjoying the videos, tips and chats so far.

Have you heard of parkrun? It's a free 5k every Saturday morning, at over 400 places in the U.K. You could go there, if not to run, then to volunteer. They always want volunteers and if you're on something like barcode scanning (all the roles are easy), then you can learn people's names too.

The friends I interact with most on Facebook are all from parkrun. My three best friends are people I only met through parkrun. There's even a parkrun discussion group on FB that's VERY active.

Are you thinking of kit napping with Younique? I have a friend trying to get me to do that. :/ All of the people I know who have done it have started selling. I don't know if they're pressured into selling, but I would imagine so.

I second Meetup, they have book clubs, board gamers, trivia nights, just about anything you can think of.

OP it sounds to me that although not having friends is contributing to the way you're feeling, there's a whole lot more behind it.

You seem to have a very fixed idea of what you want from other people, a very precise set of criteria that they have to fit into.

Why does this particular group of people seem so attractive to you? What do you think you're going to get out of it, and what will you put into it?

You also seem confused. You say that you like to just meet people for an hour and then go home, but also that you want company in the evenings and at weekends and that you like to really get to know people. The last two contradict the first.

Can you explain - to yourself, not necessarily to us - what it is you're hoping for, and what you'd like this new social interaction to look like? That may help you to decide how best to achieve those things.

I don't know. I like reading, or I used to, but again don't know any 'sort of about books but more for a chat' groups.

As lovely as dogs are it's human contact I need.

Gaming isn't something I'm interested in at all, I'm afraid.

I don't actually mind being ignored, if the general stuff is interesting!

Please don't sign up to an MLM-where do you live?! I'll be your friend!

I do have friends, Devil

I think the most common mistake many people make is that lonely people don't have friends. I do. Lots of them. Who would probably describe me as funny, kind, gregarious and true (which is why I wouldn't embarrass them or compromise our friendship by selling stuff to them!)

But at night, at home, they go home to their own families.

Is there a local FB page for your area? If so, ask there whether there is a book group going. If not, start one / ask if anyone would be interested in meeting up in the local pub once a month to discuss a book. Ours started last month in this way and so far (we're one book in) is good fun.

Joining up with Younique isn't going to get you any friends. The only thing they will want to talk to you about is, you guessed it, Younique. They want you to sell their products, they don't want a friendly chat about your day.

I understand being lonely, but joining an MLM is not going to expand your social circle. You will be either be pressured into buying more, or just sidelined when they realise that you won't be handing over more money.

Oh, or try one of those online games where you have to go places in the real world. (I don't own a smartphone so never tried them out, but I witnessed someone making instant friends talking about such a game as they had met in the space where some item from the game was located in the virtual world)

Essential, but that's not really what I want, or need.

As this would be perhaps from half seven till half nine? And then I go home, alone. And the other twenty nine days in the month?

It's not really joining it to get friends. But to be part of something. I know I probably am not making sense and I apologise for that, I'm struggling to explain!

Rufus I need to join your book club. I joined one thinking we'd only spend a couple of minutes talking about it and then it would be all wine and nibbles. No no the convo about the sh*t book that I never finished strung out for 3 hours. Never went again.

OP - have you used meetup? Lots of social groups on there for loads of different interests. I actually found my book club on there....

I have tried it but as I've said, it's not exactly things to go to, to do something, it's interaction when there is nothing.

Plus I find the numbers change every week with meet up anyway so you never meet the same people.

It's OK, OP - whatever it is needs to work for you, after all. I just can't believe that joining Younique is the answer. I'm a hair away from suggesting you join my NCT WhatsApp group, where we discuss random shit online at all hours - it sounds like that's the sort of thing you're after but without the minor inconvenience of pregnancy.

Personally I use MN for that, along with a very active local FB group. I'm struggling with what else to suggest at the minute.

Yes, that's exactly it, Essential, but pregnancy is a bit extreme

betsy

Its dreadful

I have had to allocate times...we have to discuss the book from 8.30 til 9 then they can talk about what they like

The one who never reads the book doesnt want to listen to anyone else discussing it

I agree with SchadenfreudePersonified. There are a few mums who do this at DS's school and they drive me mad; they're constantly trying to flog their overpriced cosmetic tat and "lifestyle" and I end up avoiding them at all costs! I'm running out of polite ways to tell them I couldn't care less. They're the school run versions of chuggers IMO.

But I'm not proposing to sell anything!

I think the best thing is to join things that you are actually interested in - not just to make friends. Then you're more likely to meet like minded people.
I'm in a choir because I love singing and I'm in a book group because I'm a reading nerd. Also I did a creative writing course because I love that too. I've met some great people.

At my book group we always discuss the book for at least an hour. I love these people!

I've tried talking about books with people at work and they just aren't up for it. And I work in a school!

But you don't understand what I'm saying

Rufus yep so that was probably me . I did politely listen! I just couldn't contribute.

Sorry I wrote my post and then realised that there were two more pages of comments already mentioning meetup.

I think a course might be better than a club as people will pay for the whole course and so will be more committed to attending. I moved to a new area and did an 8 week boot camp and continued to see a few of the others after. I ended up being the one suggesting we meet up at the end of the course to celebrate which is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. After that others took turns to arrange nights out. Sometimes you just need to make that one little step.....

I don't think people are quite understanding what I'm saying here.

I think i understand lemonade

I just got distracted

But the nature of MLM is that you'll piss off your uplines by not selling anything...

I don't think so, I think it's common enough.