...highlighting my vulva!?

[Prideinmyplace2]

My first thread, so please bear with me.

AIBU to ask what in the world is going on when there's a new product launching this Thursday to highlight vulvas (Not Volvos)!?

I think it's called PerfectV and it's certainly not for victory. Not for women anyway. I understand it's supposed to be some sort of beauty product that helps sort your V out after all the waxing, piercing, vajewelling, etc that goes on down there!

Is it healthy to highlight vulvas? I doubt it very much...

OP,

But surely it's every woman's duty to raise vulval beauty standards to those already achieved by our rainbow-dyed, deep-conditioned pubic hair?

And herbally steam-cleansed vaginas are the only acceptable norm, no?

it's supposed to be some sort of beauty product that helps sort your V out after all the waxing, piercing, vajewelling

I do none of these things and i'm in my 20's - Does that mean the product is not for me?
Looks like i'm missing out. My poor fanjo

There was a conversation at work the other day about getting ones fanjo preened and pimped to go and get a smear test.
The look of horror when I said that I had three rounds of IVF, which at one point involves someone looking up your foof every other day, with my snatch as nature intended.

Lol what the heck?

Don't click on the link! (If you can resist..) It adds to their revenue.
This is from the "about us" page:

The V is that pretty little triangle sometimes neat, at other times unruly, but always perfect and unique in its’ own personal way. In fact, just like an iconic haircut, how you style your “V” can be a clue to a particular moment in fashion.
We wax it, sugar it, shave it, pierce it, tattoo it, dye it, monogram it – and sometimes even sunbathe it and after all that we expect it to remain beautiful? The delicate skin on our face and décolleté receives our attention day and night after far less strenuous treatment, but when it comes to our “V”— forget it. Until now…
WHAT IS THE PERFECT V?
The Perfect V™ product line is for anytime or après any kind of hair-removal and always for beauty’s sake. It is pure, indulgent pampering and love for your “V.” It is a multi-tasking luxury skincare formulated to rejuvenate, enhance and beautify the “V.” It’s PH-balanced, dermatologist and gynecologist tested - clean beauty and paraben-free.
Channeling the clean and pure Scandinavian design aesthetic and color palette, The Perfect V™ is a beautifully packaged collection of gentle, effective beauty creams, exfoliators, firming serums, freshening sheets and more. It’s made with Scandinavian-sourced ingredients and vitamin-infused with anti-aging properties. Each product is as beautiful on the inside as the visible results it produces on the “V.” At home, in the salon, the spa—or even on the run our line of products are beautifully designed in sizes for all occasions.

Its two Danish women who have come up with this apparently. It might actually be a deeply feminist joke??

That's where I've been going wrong all these years, then. Covering her up.

Can't wait for the pitch on Dragons Den.
Monogram? What in case you lose it?

I do love a good highlight to get that glow.

Cheek bones, brow bone, nose, Cupid's how and....um.....minge.

Actually it might be a joke; wasn't there a 'pink ball especially for women' thing that turned out to be a piss take a couple of years ago?

NoCapes,

"Or a mini highlight kit with tiny foils for your pubes?"

Oh the image that produces...

Oh god here we go more companies telling us we have ugly smelly fannies

Yup. Not only must we be slim, tanned, hairless (not just hairless, your underarm skin must be smooth and moisturised - thanks Dove) and beach body ready, now we need to highlight our vulvas.

Perhaps they could book an advertising slot after the bacterial vaginosis advert that always seems to be on TV. It's strange, I must be out of the room making a brew when the adverts for penis freshener comes on. It couldn't possibly be that the message is that women are dirty and smelly and need to work very hard to stay on top of these things.

If whoever it is you're with needs a luminizer to find their way to your fanjo, then clearly there's trouble.

Wow, I never expected so many responses.

No vested interest Eragonsegg...& others, nor would I wish too.

Must confess I was surprised V's founder is a woman. I half expected some global, male dominated, pharmaceutical company eager to have their wares splashed all over our lady parts in their pursuit of profits!

Personally I don't need anything on or in my fanny, it's perfectly fine self-regulating itself. Nor does my V need any cosmetic surgery while we're in the subject

après any kind of hair-removal

Après? The word you're after there is after.
Scandinavian asthetic? Fuck off now, there's a good chap.

I have recently been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition called Lichen Sclerosus.
My labia have fused. My clitoral hood has fused over my clitoris. I get flare ups where I get a horrendous itch and blistering.
Essentially, the destruction of 'vulval architecture' as this condition progresses is like a biological female genital mutilation.
Some women who have this condition are in a far worse state than I am.
There is a treatment called Mona Lisa Touch available to try to unfuse the labia but it's not 100% effective and is way out of my price range (not available on the NHS)
It has taken me a few months to get my head round what is happening to me down below. Thankfully my partner is incredibly supportive.

Companies like the one advertising 'highlighted vulvas' drive me mad!

'Scandinavian aesthetic' worries me too. As in light skin?
Why are women not just perfect as they are? It makes me so sad and angry.

I've seen this sort of thing before. It's hideous and offensive but unlikely to sell well. Perhaps they could make it into a MLM "opportunity"? It would be more entertaining than endless Avon pestering.
I just showed it to my husband and he look terrified, the poor lamb.

Zippy

It would certainly make Avon parties more entertaining...

Oh, fuck off! Im lucky if I remember to slap some Australian Bodycare lotion on my "V" after a wax. Seriously, we have better things to be doing, believe it or not! Like closing the gender pay gap. The moment men start moisturising and lightening their funny looking genitals is the moment I'll start considering whether my vulva needs highlighting.

Some comments crack me up

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Can't wait for the pitch on Dragons Den.
Monogram? What in case you lose it?

Can imagine Theo asking, "why should I invest my children's inheritance in your V!"

Or Deb Meaden wanting to try it out on her snatch... I'm in!

I could happily take the P all day but instead need to wax, exfoliate, moisturise and highlight my minge lips before I go to Sainsburys lol

Get to fuck. I don't know many fellas who'd be happy to wear glitter bomb shade #2 all over their cock to make it look pretty

😂 😂

Screw that. Tonight I plan to highlight and contour MrBC todger and balls as an experiment then may try to start my own business as a cock and ball contouring artist.

"got a hot date? Want to make the most of your penis, hide its imperfections, fake its size and ensure your man hairs are oiled and fragrant? Then call Badcats ball service! (Costs may vary on bus and train fare needed)"

I would never buy it because in the first line of their Home page they have a misplaced apostrophe. Its'. That's me out.

I like a bit of femfresh myself, but that's cos it smells nice. I'll not be highlighting my vulva thanks, not until dh makes his meat n 2 veg into some sort of glitter ball affair (which would happen when hell freezes over).

Looked at the link (against my better judgement). I see we are not allowed to use the whole word (since vulvas are disgusting and all) and have to refer to them by their initial only. Hmmm, makes me wonder how poor menz coped for millions of years faced with these appalling hairy minges before these products were invented, it's a wonder the population didn't die out.