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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you a question, please answer honestly

81 replies

Tobythecat · 23/07/2017 21:20

If you had a 27 year old daughter who lived alone but had mild autism, depression, anxiety and struggled to do certain tasks due to sensory overload, how much emotional support would you provide? Also, would you feel obliged to help them throughout their lives emotionally because they struggle due to their autism?

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/07/2017 21:22

A lot of emotional support, and yes throughout her life. She's my daughter.

TwitterQueen1 · 23/07/2017 21:23

Yes. I would try to provide whatever support I could, without smothering her. A daughter is always a daughter.

isseywithcats · 23/07/2017 21:24

i would give her as much support as she needed for as long as she needed it

Letitrain · 23/07/2017 21:24

Both emotional and practical support.

SoyUnPerdedor2 · 23/07/2017 21:25

It would depend on what other help she gets?
If she gets carers to help with cooking/cleaning/ things she struggled with, then I would leave that for the carers.

I would always be there to help her, as much as I could.
I would do my best to fill in the gaps left by others. And also encourage her to be as independent as she can manage.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/07/2017 21:25

Absolutely I would. Its my duty as a parent.
We bring our children into the world. They don't ask to come here.
So we have to take on any heavy load.

MadameJosephine · 23/07/2017 21:25

As much as she needed, for as long as I was able.

clarinsgirl · 23/07/2017 21:26

Yes. I would be there for whatever she needed. She's my daughter.

AnneTwacky · 23/07/2017 21:26

I would absolutely provide emotional support for her no matter how old she was.

TronaldDump · 23/07/2017 21:26

Yes. There's nothing more important than family. My parents let me down when I needed them most and I won't do that to my kids. I'm sorry if your parents aren't supporting you xx

spankhurst · 23/07/2017 21:28

I would give her as much help as she needed and I could reasonably provide within the constraints of my job and the needs of my other children.

Katedotness1963 · 23/07/2017 21:28

I would do whatever I could as long as I live.

AdaColeman · 23/07/2017 21:29

Yes, I'd help her in any way I could, she will always be my daughter.

DotForShort · 23/07/2017 21:30

I would certainly provide emotional support. But if I were hypothetically in that situation I wouldn't be available 24/7 since I have a career, other family members, etc. Someone close to me has been emotionally manipulated by her adult son to the extent that he has taken over her whole life. That has been a cautionary tale for me.

GreengageJam · 23/07/2017 21:30

Yes, I would do everything I was able to help her.

Polter · 23/07/2017 21:30

I will be here for ds as long as I possibly can.

SmileEachDay · 23/07/2017 21:31

Are you the daughter, OP?

You ok?

sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 23/07/2017 21:32

My parents still provide me and my siblings with emotional support, and we are all in our forties and fifties (and none of us are on the autistic spectrum). I am not sure why you would NOT give your family emotional support.

Chrisinthemorning · 23/07/2017 21:33

I will want to support my child practically and emotionally as much as I can for the rest of my life.
I am 40 and get loads of support from my parents.

Tentomidnight · 23/07/2017 21:33

Mild autism? As in high functioning autism?
I would like to think that I would provide emotional support, but in a way which encouraged independence. And that I would do so for as long as wanted and needed.
I expect that I will be in this exact situation in a few years time, and I do worry about what is the 'right' thing to do and how I will best be able to support my DD.

AfunaMbatata · 23/07/2017 21:34

It would entirely depend on what I had going on myself. I'd give as much as I could without affecting my own health.

rainbowpie · 23/07/2017 21:34

Assuming my help does not hinder her, I'll help my daughter in any way I can until the day I die.

annoyedand · 23/07/2017 21:34

Yes autism or no autism as a parent I will always be there to provide support for my children and any other children that come to live with me

Foxysoxy01 · 23/07/2017 21:35

Emotional as well as physical support pretty much indefinitely.

Tbf I would also be finding outside support for her and myself.

SerfTerf · 23/07/2017 21:35

Yes, I am also expecting to do this.

But some parents are just not good parents.

Are you okay Toby?