To be fed up with my mothers strange eating habits?

[ohforfsake]

Bear with me, this may end up turning into a rant! For as long as I can remember my dm has lived on chips or some variation of wedges with a variation of mushy peas and beans, bread and occasionally carrots, that is literally it. It has made it awkward when we go out for dinner as she will not touch eggs/pasta/rice/pizza etc or anything vaguely foreign. She is not vegetarian or vegan by active choice as she will eat butter and eggs if they are in cakes. When we are choosing somewhere to eat lunch or dinner we have to make sure that they will serve chips otherwise she will sit there with nothing, it is quite frankly embarrassing when we are feasting and the waiter has to double check if she is sure that all she wants is chips and I'm worried that it looks like she can't afford to order anything more! Today we went out for a Sunday roast and she sat there nursing a bowl of chips the whole time, it is like going out with another seriously fussy toddler. Aibu to want to scream at her to stop being so bloody childish and try something new for once or refuse to go out with her or have her over for lunch again? Her diet has seriously affected her teeth and I am concerned about the long term health impacts.

Oh and she won't go near cheese either!

You sound way more concerned about how embarrassing she is to you than you do about her health. Most places serve chips or fries of some sort so it can't limit your choices too much. If you're embarrassed by her then please do stop inviting her because I bet she can sense it and it's unfair.

What did she feed you as children?

Fussiness in adults is irritating but you won't change her. A health scare might. You won't.

She might grow out of it

We were fed a lot of ready meals and takeaways as children, she would feed us a variety of food but would never touch any of it herself.

it is an eating disorder google "beige food syndrome" and "avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder"

This is a seriously restricted diet. I very much doubt it is childishness. Sounds more like some kind of deep seated issues with food are at play. What does she say if you suggest eating something else?
Don't go out for a meal with her?

I was going to ask the same as lemonsour
What did your Mum feed you when you were children?
Were they different meals from what she ate?
Perhaps she's a bit anxious about being 'on display' and feeling judged.

I've seen a documentary about someone like this. It's an actual real issue. Imagine not being able to eat all the amazing food out there in the world. I do understand it must be a little frustrating for you but I'd rather be you than your ma.

She gets very defensive if you ask her if she would like to try something.

She might have a food phobia. Might sound silly, but its very much a real affliction, sufferers are repulsed by certain textures/tastes and so limit themselves to 'safe' foods because the alternatives make them feel sick or anxious.

It might be that shes just picky, but it's not as rare as you might think.

I should elaborate, the lady on the documentary could only stomach chips and a couple other beige thing. They ended up doing DNA testing on her and she had a gene that caused it.

You used the phrase 'when we are feasting' - to me, this sounds an odd term. No-one says 'feasting' in the 20th or 21st century. Maybe that's part of the problem? You're all 'Feasting' and your Mum feels as though she's floundering, as doesn't feel able to join in.

I am going to be harsh here because I am an adult with a very restrictive diet. I doubt very much your mother wants to just survive off of those foods and whilst she is probably happy enough with it, I bet she has had decades of being embarrassed and struggling with what she eats. She is your mother; why don't you just appreciate the fact you still have her around and are able to go out for meals with her instead of criticise what will undoubtably be a very deep seated issue (possibly a mental health one) that you should be supportive and understanding of. It is almost certainly an eating disorder, even if a less traditional one than you are accustomed to. YABVU.

Another programme about it was Doctor in the House Series 2 episode 3.

I used to work in a fancy pants private members club restaurant. We had a member who was a middle aged (grown) man. He used to come in at least once a week and just ordered chips. We all knew him and understood that's all he could eat / all he wanted to eat. We sometimes wondered if he liked the private club because we all knew him and his eating habits and he wouldn't have to explain himself all the time.

Nobody thought any the less of him for it. I really don't think the waiters are judging your mum. It does sound like something more than fussiness if this is all she has ever eaten.

On bbc

Google Selective Eating Disorder and remember it needs to be understood, treated and accepted in the same way bulimia or anorexia is.

If your Mum is happy to sit with a bowl of chips and wants to be part of your gathering, then let her be. It does sound as though you're embarrassed by her presence. That's sad

I sympathise. FIL has a limited diet so I always have to get home special food which half the time he will not eat. It is limiting in terms of where we can go out etc. Does your mother eat in secret? FIL does.

Two points: Nobody's food order should be embarrassing. You are paying to eat and therefore no matter how little or how much someone has ordered shouldn't be anybody's concern. However, from a health and dental issue then yes, YANBU. Suggest go to a nutrionalist?

Stop being a cow. It is not about you. Either accept her or don't eat out with her.

I was going to say eating disorder/food phobia

It's excruciating to watch, but worse for her