To be fed up with my mothers strange eating habits?

[ohforfsake]

Bear with me, this may end up turning into a rant! For as long as I can remember my dm has lived on chips or some variation of wedges with a variation of mushy peas and beans, bread and occasionally carrots, that is literally it. It has made it awkward when we go out for dinner as she will not touch eggs/pasta/rice/pizza etc or anything vaguely foreign. She is not vegetarian or vegan by active choice as she will eat butter and eggs if they are in cakes. When we are choosing somewhere to eat lunch or dinner we have to make sure that they will serve chips otherwise she will sit there with nothing, it is quite frankly embarrassing when we are feasting and the waiter has to double check if she is sure that all she wants is chips and I'm worried that it looks like she can't afford to order anything more! Today we went out for a Sunday roast and she sat there nursing a bowl of chips the whole time, it is like going out with another seriously fussy toddler. Aibu to want to scream at her to stop being so bloody childish and try something new for once or refuse to go out with her or have her over for lunch again? Her diet has seriously affected her teeth and I am concerned about the long term health impacts.

Stop being a cow. It is not about you. Either accept her or don't eat out with her.

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This!!

Whenever I have tried gently talking to her about it she says I'm criticising her or 'on her case'.

Given your attitude towards her issue, why would she want to talk to you about it? It's such a personal thing, often brought about by trauma, I don't talk to anyone but those that genuinely understand it.

I loathe picky fussy eaters when so many in this world are starving to death. I just avoid them and never invite them round. So many people suffer with appalling physical disabilities yet put on a cheerful front. There's too much else to deal with than waste time accommodating self given 'foibles'.

As someone with family members who are awkward in various ways I can sympathise with you. Their quirks might sound like no big deal to others but it really gets to you living with it all the time. I can see this would be frustrating and worrying for you as its awkward socially and you are probably worried about long term health. Plus she won't talk about it which adds to the frustration. But I do think you must just accept she is an intelligent adult and knows the health risks and just let her get on with it. Anything else will probably just damage your relationship.

To avoid embarrassment I think what a pp said about going somewhere you know well to eat out will be best. Then you will be sure she can get what she likes and will know the staff are friendly and non judgemental over your order. If you are going further away for a day out fast food places and chip shops will be a good bet.
Also you mentioned she eats cakes so perhaps going out for tea and cakes would be easier sometimes.

Not sure if it's already been said but, I have a phobia of being sick so most of my meals are plain and boring

I loathe picky fussy eaters when so many in this world are starving to death.

In what way is OP's mother ordering only chips for lunch contributing to world hunger?

She's an adult, leave her alone. I taught a child like this, he had sensory issues, he wasn't being a PITA or fussy.

You asked if you were being unreasonable and almost everyone has told you that not only are you but that the probability is it is a mental disorder but you still seem to be disputing it. There is very little that can be done to help (CBT has aome success for some people) and I am not surprised your mother doesn't want to open up to you. From how you come across on here, I wouldn't and I doubt anyone in the same situation would either.

@makeminealargeone22 I loathe picky fussy eaters when so many in this world are starving to death. What a stupid and ignorant comment. Someone ordering a portion of chips and eating them all is not wasting food and has no bearing whatsoever on those starving.

Food phobias are very real. Does she have IBS or some other reason she might be afraid to branch out food wise?

Don't make her feel even worse about food than she likely already does though she's an adult. Just maybe bring up the concept of a phobia or sensory issue with her.

Regarding 2 very ignorant comments.... No, of course an only chip eating person doesn't contribute to world hunger, but the ridiculous attitude towards food makes a mockery of those who go hungry every day. Just stop giving head space to these attention seeking pickers and give sympathy/aid to those truly deserving.

Regarding 2 very ignorant comments.... No, of course an only chip eating person doesn't contribute to world hunger, but the ridiculous attitude towards food makes a mockery of those who go hungry every day. Just stop giving head space to these attention seeking pickers and give sympathy/aid to those truly deserving.

I can't eat salad, it literally makes me heave. Husband and grown up kids eat it and I have always provided it for them, but I just can't get it down.

Just stop giving head space to these attention seeking pickers

Well, aren't you the little sweetheart

How on earth does a fussy eater "makes a mockery of those who go hungry"? It's not as if she's throwing chips at starving toddlers. Utterly bizarre and close minded attitude. Eating disorder are real mental health issues. I imagine people like the PP think people with depression should pull themselves together.

No one is under any obligation to have a certain diet, if you like to stick to a small range of food items or you like to eat every exotic food going why should anyone else care.

I don't understand all this hate for people who like a small range of food, what about people who only wear navy, or only listen to jazz.
Some are adventurous some are cautious, so what ?

My FIL won't eat vegetables. Not even tomatoes. It's frustrating because it's dreadful for his health and it limits what he can eat dramatically. I don't blame the OP for feeling embarassed - it will make it harder to go out somewhere. Guess what, not everywhere serves chips!

Does she eat pudding??

I would just not sit near her or not invite her, if you can't eat the food it's hard to see what you would get from a meal out, though I suppose she wants the socialising.

Most places do serve chips, actually. Or at least some baked /fried potato item that is near enough.

I would also find this a bit irritating, but then I find plenty of my mother's habits annoying, but I just ignore them as best I can. It's not that hard. Would it help to think of it as a medical necessity? I have friends/family who have allergies or coeliac which means that when I go out to eat with them, we make sure we go somewhere they can eat something. It's not a massive hardship to me as I can eat whatever I want on plenty of other occasions.

Why do you even go out to eat with her? Can't you go without her? She can eat chips anytime she wants, and if you want to go somewhere that doesn't do chips just go without her.

Not sure why others have to get so worked up about what some people eat. I get called fussy. I'm not. I don't like certain textures. It's not about being fussy, it's about eating what my body allows me to swallow. That doesn't make me childish or attention seeking. It's really nobody else's business, probably the same as your mum. I've seen so many threads on this site slagging off 'fussy eaters'. It's really unkind and I don't understand why people poke their nose in and take it so personally when other people eat or don't eat certain things.