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Dead BM's friends posting pics of my SS on Facebook

86 replies

beautiebyqueenie · 23/07/2017 13:58

Hi πŸ‘‹πŸ½
I really need some advice! Yesterday my SS went to a party (he is 6 years old) and one of the other mothers there was an old friend of his dead BMs. She has always been very disrespectful of me (snide comments to other people) being SS's stepmother but yesterday she took a picture of my SS and posted it onto dead BMs Facebook wall with some snide remarks about the situation. I am so angry and upset, as this is something in years to come my SS will be able to see and she did not seek out permission from BF (or me) to take the photo and post it online. I don't like confrontation but feel it is my duty to ask her to remove it to protect my SS as she brought quite a lot of emotion into the post. I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
mynewballoon · 23/07/2017 15:14

I think aibu is the wrong place for this because most people seem to have missed the point of the thread and seem hellbent on attacking the OPs use of acronyms!! Get a life and a grip and maybe try to offer advice on the OPs issue!

Personally I think it's disrespectful and it definitely is your business! You are raising a child who has sadly lost his mum, so you are now in a position to protect him and also protect your family unit. I would see if it can be removed from Facebook and talk to your DP to see if there's anything he can do about this person.

Also, whoever objected to the OP referring to herself as a stepmum when she's not married to DSS's dad (don't think she mentioned if she was or wasn't, not that it matters) I am not married to my baby's father and his other children refer to me as their stepmum. What archaic world are you living in?!

MrsOverTheRoad · 23/07/2017 15:21

What the hell has the fact that the Mother and your SS's Father weren't married to do with anything?

And he's her son...she's his Mother. Not his Birth Mother.

mynewballoon · 23/07/2017 15:29

Overtheroad I think she was making that point because she was vilified for referring to herself as stepmum when she may not have been married to his father. Because clearly it doesn't matter.

And she's apologised for the birth mother thing, so we can all move on from this now!

Goodythreeshoes · 23/07/2017 15:33

The OP has already apologised for using confusing terminology.

Ceto · 23/07/2017 15:34

It's just his mum and really non of your business

Of course it's OP's business. She is one of his primary carers and is effectively his mother now. She's fully entitled to care about a non-relative posting something that may harm him.

But the best way to deal with this is for his father to contact FB, tell them he's under 10 and that he didn't agree to the picture being posted. They will take it down. It would probably be best to try to get the FB page closed to new posts anyway.

Beeziekn33ze · 23/07/2017 15:35

I didn't realise today was Claws Out Sunday!!

ConferencePear · 23/07/2017 15:37

No need to wonder why there is so much bullying in school when you read some of the stuff on this thread. Kids learn it from their parents.

OP you have every right to be upset by snide comments on anyone's Facebook page. Your partner needs to deal with.

Flossy1978 · 23/07/2017 15:49


I am sorry OP you are being put through the ringer. Anyone who isn't carrying on with their judgy pants can see you love your SS and care for his wellbeing. And anyone with half a brain would know you wouldn't be calling your SS's Mum his Birth Mother to his face.

You should contact Facebook and have the picture reported.

As for the rest of you and your stupidity. This is a forum on the net - it was only terminology to differentiate between the people in the story. Get over yourselves.

doodledoodudu · 23/07/2017 20:18

An update- nasty friend has removed the photo after my DP asked her politely to take it down. A couple hissy fits from her but thank you for the kind words (from some)

IHateUncleJamie · 23/07/2017 22:20

That's really good, OP. Glad you and your DP got it sorted. Smile

ginnystonic · 23/07/2017 23:29

So glad to here it's worked out. Put this all behind you now and ignore the haters x

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