To think this is too much gin?

[backtobedplease]

I'm getting a bit concerned about how much DH drinks by himself.

Last night he put away half a bottle of gin. A small 70cl bottle, but all the same 🤔 . Not a special night or anything, just an after work drink in front of the telly .

I don't drink much and growing up my family weren't big drinkers either so I accept I might have a conservative idea of what's ok/ normal/ problematic.
But really, I think last night was 15-20 units. By himself. He does this 1-2 times a week and is v defensive about it. Should I just chill out or does he have a budding drinking problem?

You said he did it once or twice a week but now you are saying he drinks more often than that. Does he drink most nights?

Even if he's drinking wine and beer as you've described that's still more than double what's recommended in terms of units (depending on the strength of his jobs brew).

I'd say twice a week is a fair average. This week it's his second night (I think!!! I sound like the booze police) Some times he'll go a week without a drink, sometimes he drinks most nights.

Is it really only fourteen units? I don't think that's a lot.
That's a bottle of wine and a bit. I'd be Rosetta drunk, but I ave done it.
The main reason is why are you concerned? What is his attitude to doing this? Does he do it alone nd in the dark? Is it his way of destressing and coping?

Is it really only fourteen units? I don't think that's a lot.

That's a whole week's worth of units though.

That on a Friday night is fine imo.

Half the bottle is 10 x 35ml pub measures. That's a binge by anyone's standards!

I'd be a bit concerned I must admit. My gin bottle looks like that and it was bought in November...... and I would certainly be worried about the driving element.

I drink very little so I'm not really sure what's a lot to most people, but it does concern me when you say that you don't buy gin very often because he tends to polish it off. Home brew beer is often much stronger than bought stuff too, so that will be really upping the number of units.

I see sitting and drinking that much whilst in the house on your own as being way worse than out socially drinking. The volume is one thing but that's another.

OP, have you checked it is gin in there and he hasn't filled it up with water?

If it's 40%, there are 28 units in the whole bottle.

I can't believe some people are saying that's an okay amount of alcohol. Half a 700cl bottle is basically the same alcohol content as having 14 single gin and tonics. And that really isn't normal or healthy.

And yes, given that it takes the average person about an hour to detox a unit of alcohol, he really needs to be careful if he's driving the next morning that he's not over the limit.

His measure will likely be bigger than a pub measure so wouldn't be 12 individual drinks

But it's still the same amount overall, so if he's having double measures that 6 double g&ts PLUS beer.

He does it alone, is quite sneaky about it, and very defensive if I try to talk about it. He doesn't cope well with stress or social situations and when we go out with friends he invariably is the most drunk person in the room and embarrasses himself or me. When he drinks at home it's either because he's really stressed or because he's gone a few days without a drink and it's a treat.
I mean he's functioning fine, it's not massively affecting his life. But is affects our relationship (although he won't accept that). His father is a functioning alcoholic and I'm concerned he's going the same way.
But then he makes me feel like a massive kill joy party pooper. And it's true I don't drink much so perhaps my point of view is a bit skewed.
I appreciate all the connects everyone, thanks, it helps to get other point of view! 🙂

**points of view, not connects!

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcoholic-drinks-units/alcohol-limits-unit-guidelines/

This might be helpful op.

I don't think 6 double gins is too much for one night on a Friday evening, tbh.

If it was half a bottle every night that would be different (and expensive) but I wouldn't worry about this in general.

You're not a party pooper-that really is a harmful level of drinking and the secrecy/anger is worrying.

The fact that you are concerned enough to ask the question shows there is a problem. You know there is a problem. How bad are you prepared to let it get before you make a move?

That's a lot of gin! We like our gin, but even with two of us drinking it, a bottle lasts 2-3 months. We very rarely have a second gin in an evening (though might well open a bottle of wine after a G&T - not necessarily finish the bottle but have a glass of wine with dinner). I think I'd have a seriously upset stomach on that volume of gin. Also, I'd need the loo all night and have a horrendous headache in the morning. But I'd be in tears well before finishing the third glass, gin is a lovely first drink, a slightly sad second one and a very depressing third one!

The driving in the morning and his behaviour around it would worry me .

I can easily drink that much on a friday night but I have always drank once or twice a week some weeks, none other weeks.

I wouldn't be overly concerned if it's only once or twice a week. Keep an eye that it doesn't escalate though.

If the drinker themselves can't admit to having a problem - then any help or advice is going to fall upon deaf ears unfortunately :(

My dad is a solid drinker and even that would be too much on a regular basis.

I think some investigation is needed. I would see the drinking as symptom of something else and work on dealing with the something else. Could make him less defensive?