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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To need to let off steam after taking FiL to see Dunkirk and he hated it ..

25 replies

raindropper · 22/07/2017 19:07

Sorry - just had to leave the room and escape as after paying an eye-watering amount of money to take the PiL and DCs to the cinema to see Dunkirk, and feeling emotionally charged after a harrowing couple of hours watching tales of heroism, resiliance and trauma, FiL doesn't have a good word to say about it. The reason? He read the Times review beforehand, which slagged it off, so had made his mind up to hate it before he even set off. Grr ...

Right, got that off my chest, better go back downstairs and be the perfect hostess ....

OP posts:

Sugarcoma · 22/07/2017 19:34

That is really annoying. I never read reviews before seeing a film usually but I like to read them after.

It's v fashionable for critics to slag of Christopher Nolan, especially now he's not doing a big cool franchise like Batman anymore so critics don't have to worry about not being invited to the next installment etc.

He's a brilliant filmmaker though, even if I don't necessarily understand all his movies. I'm looking forward to seeing Dunkirk although unconvinced by Harry Styles being in it (tbf I've never been convinced by Nolan's casting - Anne Hathaway as Catwoman was just wrong and Maggie Gyllenhaal as Batman's love interest didn't work for me either).

Sugarcoma · 22/07/2017 19:35

*off not of

DumbledoresApprentice · 22/07/2017 19:38

I saw it today. I thought it was great. I love movies without much dialogue though.

BertrandRussell · 22/07/2017 19:39

Might he have just agreed with the Times reviewer? I think it is dividing opinion.

HarryBiscuit · 22/07/2017 19:41

I'd be pissed off too OP. If he said oh thanks very much, but it turns out I didn't think it was that great because of x,y and z, but to say he didn't like tit just because he read a bad review is v v weird. Why did he bother going?

Syc4moreTrees · 22/07/2017 19:43

Maybe he just didn't like
It, life would be boring if we all liked the same thing.

Imstyledilemma · 22/07/2017 19:45

Your FIL probably didn't like it because it didn't have any blood and guts it and wasn't all Americanised and hyped-up.

If he's used to the old-style, glamourised way of doing war films I'm not surprised he didn't like it.

reallybadidea · 22/07/2017 19:46

God, how annoying and ungrateful. My mum is obsessed with The Times "write-up" of anything too 🙄

ihatethecold · 22/07/2017 19:48

Is it suitable for a 13 year old?
We want to go as a family.

BertrandRussell · 22/07/2017 19:49

So he was supposed to pretend he enjoyed it because you bought the ticket?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 22/07/2017 19:56

I was about to agree with him and recommend some nicer villages just outside .

Bluetrews25 · 22/07/2017 20:03

I think it's polite to pretend to like it, yes, Bertrand, just like any other gift.

redshoeblueshoe · 22/07/2017 20:07

shouldwestay my thoughts too

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/07/2017 20:11

Isn't the point of reviews done by film critics that you avoid the ones they rave about and go to see the ones they pan.

I have only once been talked into seeing an Oscar winning film. (We were renting a film from Blockbusters). I think we managed 20minutes before we all agreed it was shit

everythingissoblinkinrosie · 22/07/2017 20:12

Why did he hate it? Sorry to pick at an open sore.

Loopytiles · 22/07/2017 20:13

Yabu, if you couldn't afford it why treat him? Films often divide opinion.

GloriaV · 22/07/2017 20:16

I listened to Dan Snow's History Hits podcast. He interviewed a Mr Levine, the historian who advised on the history for the film making of Dunkirk. Now, at last, I understand what happened at Dunkirk and why it is so important. Fascinating listen imv.
Am looking forward to the film. My DF was there but shamefully I never really understood what happened until now.

Original poster

raindropper · 22/07/2017 20:17

ihatethecold, yes it's a 12A so suitable for a 13yo if not too sensitive. My 13yo was shaking like a leaf, but don't regret him seeing it - they need to know what people went though. It's not as gory as some other war movies, but there's a lot of tension and the main characters have some near-misses, but (mostly0 all survive.

I'd heard Harry Styles was in it but had no idea what he looked like and had to ask DH who he was afterwards - it's not a showy role.

I read the Empire review beforehand, which is one of the many that's very positive.

The DCs (13 and 10) were a bit confused by the inter-weaving of 3 different storyline over different timescales - 1 week, 1 day, 1 hour - so might be worth explaining that beforehand, and the fact that a "Mole" is a harbour wall.

OP posts:

AvoidingCallenetics · 22/07/2017 20:18

He is entitled not to like it. I'm sure he is grateful that you took him to see it and paid though. I guess it wouldn't have hurt to be tactful but you didn't make the film so he probably doesn't see it as in any way personal, to give his honest opinion.

AppalachianWalzing · 22/07/2017 20:24

I arranged for a group of us to go, we were all looking forward to it. We were all very underwhelmed tbh and I didn't mind people saying that afterwards even though I'd planned it.

It was really hard to hear the dialogue and a bit tough to get emotionally attached to any characters as they all shared a relatively small amount of screen time. It was beautifully shot, but just not especially coherent. I'm still glad I saw it though. And I I didn't think it was bad, but a bit confused by the hype.

There's a film called of gods and men which is set in Algeria and follows a group of French monks being targeted by islamists. It has similarly sparse dialogue and is beautifully shot but somehow much more affecting. I felt like Dunkirk was a bit of a missed opportunity to do something similar. For me, discussing the film afterwards is one of the best bits so I don't really see why your FIL was being unreasonable.

ForalltheSaints · 22/07/2017 20:25

He's entitled not to like it, but at least he could have thanked you for taking him.

user1495025590 · 22/07/2017 20:27

he is not entitled to an opinion then?

Original poster

raindropper · 22/07/2017 20:29

Why did he hate it?

Two reasons (repeated from the Times review):

One of the 3 storylines (the one that represents 1 hour of time) focuses on a Spitfire pilot, which makes it seem like they played a big role in the evacuation. However over the 9 day period of the evacuation the weather was only good enough for air support on 2 days. Nevertheless they lost 162 aircraft, so he's wrong to say their role was insignificant. Possibly the fact that it was a 1 hour slice of time was lost on him.

The film focuses on the many people who died during the evacuation. The fact that 300000+ survived is mentioned at the end (which he may have missed as he's a bit deaf), but you don't get the overwhelming sense that so many were evacuated.

OP posts:

Original poster

raindropper · 22/07/2017 20:32

It was really hard to hear the dialogue

What dialogue? There isn't any. There's about 3 lines in the entire movie.

Mind you, I imagine it was pretty hard to hear during the real evacuation too .

OP posts:

everythingissoblinkinrosie · 22/07/2017 20:41

For a long time it was felt the RAF fell short. He will be familiar with that line assuming he's my age (50s) or older. It's now become known that the RAF were inland fighting those German forces trying to get to the beaches. Tell him to get the latest BBC History magazine. Newly released info from the National Archives.

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