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AIBU?

To be annoyed at DP on his birthday?

81 replies

PricklyCactuss · 21/07/2017 08:24

For context DP and I have been together 2 years and live together.

Today is DP birthday, I woke up earlier planning to give him his presents, breakfast (TMI: morning bday sex) but he's gone the bloody gym. Like he does every single morning and evening. He wouldn't even usually be gone at this time to the gym yet. It's whatever moving on.

He also put up a picture on Instagram this morning 'twerk for me it's my birthday'. I've just called him on this via text yet to receive a reply but floored how disrespectful this is.

He's made arrangements to go out later straight after work so I won't even see him and he's made plans for saturdsy with family that he's not invited me to when I'm usually invited to do things with them. (Group of cousins our age)

He works 7 days a week 9-7 and gym before and after work so all I see of him is a cranky worked out tired person Ready got bed. And he's hardly wanting to spend his birthday seeing me at all. AIBU to be annoyed at the above

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ShowMePotatoSalad · 21/07/2017 09:05

"twerk for me it's my birthday"

CRIIIIIINGE. I couldn't be with someone who said things like that.

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PricklyCactuss · 21/07/2017 09:06

@ShowMePotatoSalad its out of character

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TempusEejit · 21/07/2017 09:06

Is this your first proper relationship OP? Because there's no way you'd be putting up with this if you'd had a decent relationship before. You're just an add-onto his life, not partners.

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RhubardGin · 21/07/2017 09:10

Is he having some sort of birthday breakdown? Is it a milestone birthday?

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PricklyCactuss · 21/07/2017 09:12

No I had a 2 year abusive relationship previous to this one.

If my relationship was always like this I wouldn't have made a post asking aibu if I should be annoyed at this one occurrence. I'm upset because it's out of character

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Guccibelt · 21/07/2017 09:14

It's not out of character though is it? He goes to the gym every morning doesn't he?

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MrsMozart · 21/07/2017 09:14

Have you spoken with him about how this makes you feel?

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BeepBeepMOVE · 21/07/2017 09:14

It's his birthday not yours! Let him celebrate how he wants.

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RhubardGin · 21/07/2017 09:15

If my relationship was always like this I wouldn't have made a post asking aibu if I should be annoyed at this one occurrence. I'm upset because it's out of character

All you can do is speak to him and ask him if everything is ok and that his behaviour has been a bit twatish.

If he's an amazing partner all throughout the year and then today he's been a dick maybe there's something going on?

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Guccibelt · 21/07/2017 09:15

It sounds like he's acting the same today as every other day.

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thereallochnessmonster · 21/07/2017 09:15

What man would give up bday sex for a gym session when he's going to the gym after work too??

Sorry, OP, but it sounds like he's not really that into you. Doesn't sound like you come first with him at all - his priority is work and the gym!

How much time do you actually spend together if he's working 7 days a week and going to the gym 14 times?? Can't be much.

What do you do when he's out? Sit in and wait for him, or do you go out and do your own thing too?

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AnnieAnoniMouse · 21/07/2017 09:15

Do yourself a favour, ditch the chump & find an actual adult to be with.

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thereallochnessmonster · 21/07/2017 09:16

I wouldn't care about the meme thing, in comparison to everything else.

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chestylarue52 · 21/07/2017 09:16

Am I missing something here?

Did you tell him you were going to get up early and 'give him his presents?'

Or has he just committed the heinous crime of going out and doing what he wants on his birthday without mind reading that you had other plans?

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chestylarue52 · 21/07/2017 09:17

Am I missing something here?

Did you tell him you were going to get up early and 'give him his presents?'

Or has he just committed the heinous crime of going out and doing what he wants on his birthday without mind reading that you had other plans?

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TempusEejit · 21/07/2017 09:18

But it's not out of character is it? Between work 7 days a week (wtf?) and gym twice a day his usual character is a tired cranky person and you're clearly at the bottom of his list of priorities.

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LindyHemming · 21/07/2017 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaCake5 · 21/07/2017 09:24

Maybe he didn't want a fuss and he thinks you are going ott for birthday stuff?

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ZippyCameBack · 21/07/2017 09:26

It sounds like you are being phased out. I'd be having a serious word and also looking for a place to live.

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Dailystuck71 · 21/07/2017 09:27

Sorry but unless you said you had plans then how was he to know? Send him a text....a cheeky one and let him know what you've got lined up for tonight.

My DH does the gym 6 days. It's him and his way. We work round it.

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EverythingEverywhere1234 · 21/07/2017 09:29

I'm not jumping on the issue of working 7 days, as my DP hasn't had a full day off in weeks (business owner in agriculture, the worst kind!!) but it does seem... odd that he is just excluding you from his birthday. Is it a communication issue? Did you tell him that you wanted to give him his presents early today? Does he know that you would like to go along with him to the family event this weekend?

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SparklyMagpie · 21/07/2017 09:32

Yeah how much time do you two get together? So hes not going to see you at all today then?

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Dailystuck71 · 21/07/2017 09:35

Plenty of people work those hours.

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OohMavis · 21/07/2017 09:36

Are you sure the feeling's mutual?

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defineme · 21/07/2017 09:36

I assume you're quite young and have no kids? How is a date once a month, main interests not being shared, only seeing each other when tired and at bedtime... A good relationship? you clearly don't communicate well. This sounds like a relationship on its way out, not a relatively new good one. However, you're in denial and have been conditioned to accept very little by your previous relationship. Try and listen to some of this excellent advice from other posters.

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