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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a little annoyed my inlaws are decorating my house?

88 replies

IbizaLovesSundays · 21/07/2017 00:01

My DH and I have just bought our first home together. A small 3 bed mid terrace and there is quite a bit of work to do on it to spruce it up and update the decor (think floral carpets and textured wallpaper) I've stripped the walls and the floors right back and DHs parents want to come and help paint and decorate as they are retired and like to spend time with their DS.
This is completely lovely and we have been able to do so much more in such a short space of time than if they hadn't offered to help, but last week my MIL came back with curtains for some of the rooms that she had picked up at a very good price. They aren't awful but just aren't really to my taste, but she doesn't really see why I would want something else. I have had Pinterest boards for years gathering up ideas for rooms in the house and whilst I appreciate the kindness and the sheer amount of work they have done to help us, aibu to be a bit annoyed that I'm not getting to decorate my house the way I want it?
DH kinda sides with his mum as he doesn't see the point in spending lots of money on curtains when these ones will do for now.

OP posts:
alteredimages · 21/07/2017 11:55

DH is from Egypt @MissEliza.

MissEliza · 21/07/2017 12:00

Yes I thought so. I'm very familiar with those customs!

alteredimages · 21/07/2017 12:45

The gold everything was a bit of a giveaway too. Smile

KurriKurri · 21/07/2017 13:13

I wonder why people who are sensitive and who's feelings must not be hurt are so insensitive to what others may like, and how they may be treading on toes.

I'm sure your MIL's heart was in the right place, but I would never do this to my DDIL and DS - I would always offer to help (and with stuff like painting that is fine because you just follow their instructions) but choosing decor ? - I would offer them money if I could afford it to put towards their curtains,because it's their home and I respect that.

MissEliza · 21/07/2017 13:21

Alteredimages yes the gold was a giveaway. I'm afraid I couldn't get into the Versailles look!

WhataHexIgotinto · 21/07/2017 13:23

I had a similar problem with MIL, but in the end I asked her to come and 'help' me with shopping for the vital stuff, then bought what I wanted.

GardenGeek · 21/07/2017 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 21/07/2017 14:30

Agree that people often described as "sensitive" are often just self obsessed and totally unsensitive or unempathetic where others are concerned. Why don't people just describe them as rude and selfish? Why is it always "sensitive" particularly when talking about women.

IbizaLovesSundays · 21/07/2017 15:39

She isn't rude or selfish at all. She's given up a week to paint and decorate our house because she wants to help. Completely empathetic too- she's lovely- just felt a bit out of control this week as DH was suggesting we just accept the curtains as 'they'll do' but all sorted now. We are keeping two sets of curtains and she's sending the others back. She was very apologetic and said she had tried to pick up neutral patterns as she didn't know my taste. I still expect we will have a lifetime of saying no to offers of stuff lol

OP posts:
SleightOfHand · 21/07/2017 16:11

DFIL is threatening to decorate it for us. He loves marble, gold everything, giant Chinese vases and draped gauzy fabrics which can't be washed and collect dust Is his name Laurence Llewelyn Bowen. Grin

MissEliza · 21/07/2017 17:15

Is his name Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen GrinGrin

Cakeisbest · 21/07/2017 17:23

My MIL said she would decorate her bedroom in our house to help us out - she doesn't live with us and it is the spare room. I soon put paid to that!

LakieLady · 21/07/2017 17:45

YANBU, but I'd bloody love my MIL to come and decorate our house.

We'd have to go on holiday for 6 months though, the place is such a tip.

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