Handhold please *lighthearted*

[whatthestuff]

Long post **

I don't want to hear the usual "break up with him" THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED.

So I'm sat in the bath in the dark (long day) have some little twinkly lights up and a few candles (against the decor rules of MN I know but purely temporary, reading through the MN Classics, about the fatball to be exact (hilarious)

Anyway.. DP walks in the bathroom, turns the light on and sits on the toilet to do a poo!!!! We have 2 toilets, one main and one ensuite and we have a no pooing rule in the ensuite but that's another story 🙄😂

I absolutely lose the plot because:
a) I'm in the bath
b) he can shit on demand so it could have waited
c) he really could have went in the ensuite (i would never have known as it would be a long time before I got out)
d) he does it on purpose

He then proceeds to tell me that I should be THANKFUL that he feels comfortable shitting on front of me!!!!

If only my day could get worse 💩

Holy hell I am really bad at B/U/I. I should just stick with standard text. How bad a day can someone have 🆘

That's gross.

YABU. Unreasonable not to let him survive with his balls intact after that.

Absolutely agree @DaviesMum 😂

I've heard of animals marking their territory, so was it a primeval need to do that?!?

That's just nasty. I don't need anyone shitting near me thanks. Gross.

That is fucking rank.

I know this is 'lighthearted' but my horrible ex used to do this. It was a power play. How dare I take a few minutes to myself, sort of thing.

How is the dynamic between you generally?

Eeeew. Was this a one man protest against the no-pooing-in-the-ensuite rule?

YANBU. Very disrespectful.

Our dynamic is perfectly fine. Amazing actually. We both love to laugh, taking things like this seriously is silly, no harm caused.

Hence the "lighthearted".

Why no pooing in the en suite?!
Me and DH always poo infront of each other if we need to and the other is in the shower (but we do only have one loo)!

Oh's having a poo sounds are more enthusiastic than his having sex sounds. Strangely similar just louder.

That's disgusting. What kind of person would do that?

justdont 😂

Me and DH have several "core" rules in our relationship which are absolutely not up for negotiation under any circumstances.

We call them the five pillars of Uslam which is fine because he's Muslim

One of them is that you're not allowed to shit while the other one is cleaning teeth/bathing/showering/washing

LTB

Smelly What are the other four pillars?

OP That's gross. Do it back to him.

I'd shit IN his bath next time he's in it

We have two rules in our house. One is when the bathroom door is shut, only the occupant is entitled to open it. The other is that if you open it, if you witnes something you don't want to see, it's your own issue.

This is why we also have the agreement that any house we move to will
Always have two toilets

Put a lock on the bathroom door.

@SmellyNipples I'm intrigued about the pillars! Please do explain!

@MardAsSnails I am absolutely howling at the idea of shitting in his bath! Not that I ever would but the thought/possible reaction would be hilarious

@SouthernNorthernGirl such a funny idea honestly, but he never takes baths.. more like a "3 showers a day kind of guy"

@eddiemairswife I have a lock but didn't think I would need it, he usually would pop his head in to make sure I hadn't drowned after an hour long soak! No need for using it 🙂 apart from on this occasion

Wrong, wrong and wrong again. We have very few rules in our household but that breaks all of them. My partner would kill me in my sleep if I ever did this.

That's horrible, but why didn't you bathe in the en-suite so the other loo could be used.

@LadyLapsang the ensuite is a shower/toilet/sink and main bathroom has the bath etc

He then proceeds to tell me that I should be THANKFUL that he feels comfortable shitting on front of me!!!!

Why should you be thankful that someone is ok with shitting in front of you?
I'm extremely thankful that neither of us want to shit or even pee in front of each other.

I have dreadful IBS and I don't even like being in the same room when I am having a poo

Our dynamic is perfectly fine. Amazing actually. We both love to laugh, taking things like this seriously is silly, no harm caused

Actually, I'd LTB, but since I'm not allowed to say this I will ask, instead, how you intend to get him back? Do you need suggestions? All in a lighthearted way, of course? I'd suggest a good bleed in his undies (couldn't find your own so you used his and then you accidentally forgot to put them in the wash and left them in his drawer instead).

I'd also suggest a lock for the bathroom.

@YetAnotherSpartacus suggestions for pay back welcome!

In the whole time we have been together, he has never done anything like this. Few pranks here and there but nothing else 😂 no harm caused