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AIBU?

Is she shit stirring or am I mug

59 replies

Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 13:51

So to cut it short I split from Husband not too long ago and have since meet a lovely man we will call him A. We have been seeing each other for 9 weeks and been a 'couple' for 4 weeks. At the weekend he invited me to his friends to meet him and his wife. Everything was nice and they seemed nice, later that evening friends wife messaged me to say it was nice meeting me and A had asked her husbands opinion of me and A talks about me all the time but it's always good stuff which is fine.
The next day she messaged me as she needed some help with something medical so I popped over to her house. She proceeded to tell me that A told them I keep slipping up and saying I love him. I have never once said this as it's a new relationship and I don't as of yet. I messaged A who said she was talking shit and I have never said that.
She also told me a woman 15 years younger who he went on 1 date with before me keeps messaging to meet up with him on sundays but she expects he prefers me as I live closer and she is further out so it's easier to date me 😳 I refused to really comment and said it's up to him and I won't chase a man and he chooses to see her that's his choice but I won't be messed around. I have spent every Sunday (day and night) with him so know he hasn't meet her.
I told A what she said and he was not happy and proceeded to send me screen shots of his phone messages and texts to show he hasn't messaged anyone else. I deleted them without looking as I feel the need to check his phone.
Do you think she was fishing for information or trying to gauge my reaction or there is some truth in it and I am being a mug?

OP posts:
RebornSlippy · 20/07/2017 13:54

She sounds like a weirdo. Right from asking a relative stranger over for "something medical".

Keep your distance.

QuiteLikely5 · 20/07/2017 13:54

She sounds deranged I would ignore

Bluntness100 · 20/07/2017 13:54

I think she fancies him or something and wants to split you up. She's clearly jealous and being a bitch. The reason why though is unknown. Was there ever anything between them?

thewideeyedpea · 20/07/2017 13:55

She sounds a total bloody loon! Ignore and avoid and just enjoy your relationship.

blackteasplease · 20/07/2017 13:57

Sounds like shit stirring as if she were well intentioned she would know this is not her place.

I think you were right to tell him.

I'd probably keep an eye on things with both of them (not check phones but don't assume anything) but work on the basis she is stirring.

Bluntness100 · 20/07/2017 13:58

The love thing is to gauge how serious you both are, she wanted to know if you had told each other you loved each other, and now she knows you haven't.

The other woman thing is to put you down. She basically told you you're a convenience.

What's his reaction, what will he do about it?

Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 14:00

There was nothing ever between then and he told me before we went there she is a bit mental. She used to be best friends with his ex wife but they have no contact. She also told me that she had managed to look at his ex's FB profile through her daughters account and it was covered in pictures of her new boyfriend and stated she was in a relationship. I said I had never looked at his ex's profile as it's of no interest to me.
A is not overly happy as he said he won't have people making me doubt him and will show me anything I want- but I don't want to see his phone or anything as I feel if I can't trust his word what's the point? We were meant to be seeing them this weekend for A's birthday but he just wants it to be us as he isn't happy

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Allthewaves · 20/07/2017 14:00

Bit weird she invited u back round. She's weird

OstentatiousWanking · 20/07/2017 14:02

She sounds like one of those people that are so bored they need to invent shite for something to do. I bet she's as needy as fuck too once she latches onto someone.
I'd keep her as distant as possible.

Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 14:04

He had his children last night but wants to go round there tonight and tell her straight and ask her what the fuck she is playing at. I don't want to be the new woman that causes problems between and his best mates wife, but I don't get what she would make up shit.
The love comment I am not arsed about and told her straight but the other woman thing made me feel shit and if he is with me because it's easier- but then he wants to see me every day he doesn't have his kids, I don't push him

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Bluntness100 · 20/07/2017 14:04

I'd also steer well clear, this isn't normal behaviour. Something is driving her. The fact he said she was a bit mental in advance would indicate he knew something could go wrong, she's too invested here. I'd be very suspicious.

ClopySow · 20/07/2017 14:04

Shit stirrer. Give her a very wide berth.

Bluntness100 · 20/07/2017 14:06

He had his children last night but wants to go round there tonight and tell her straight and ask her what the fuck she is playing a

Honestly wouldn't it be more normal to speak to her husband if he's his mate? I honestly think there is something that's went on with them in the past.

Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 14:06

Yeah I did she it odd about ge medical thing and wanted someone she could trust, but as I work in medicine I sort of just said I would help her.

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Donttouchthethings · 20/07/2017 14:11

Stay away from her.

I would also have a good look at his other relationships in case he's surrounded by loons. Life's hard enough.

Emmageddon · 20/07/2017 14:12

She's tying to cause trouble between you. I bet she's still mates with A's ex-wife and this is some kind of misplaced loyalty to her.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/07/2017 14:16

I Agree with Emmageddon - she's just trying to cause trouble so she and her pal (his ex) can snigger about it.

Just tell her that you aren't interested and if she insists on harping on about it, look at your wrist (preferably the one without your watch on and say "Oh, is that the time? So sorry - I have to rush home to watch some paint dry.

And leave.

Hissy · 20/07/2017 14:17

Why the fuck did she even HAVE your number?

Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 14:19

She didn't have my number she found me on FB and inboxed me x

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Madonna9 · 20/07/2017 14:19

I agree with the others, stay away from her. It sounds like she's up to no good..

Serialweightwatcher · 20/07/2017 14:20

She sounds like a real shit stirrer and very odd that she was best friends with his ex but has no contact now - wonder if she put her poison in where it wasn't wanted with her too. He needs to say nothing to her which could jeopardise his friendship with her husband - she's probably one of these who will deny it all and make out you're the loon. You and he need to enjoy being together - he should see his friend alone and you need to steer clear of this idiot before she ruins your relationship.

If you ever do see or hear from her again and she starts mixing - ask her why, if she's friends with A, she would try to sabotage his happiness by giving you information that isn't relevant or necessary.

Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 14:20

I know she doesn't see his ex as it was a nasty break up and she was blocked by his ex as they argued over what ex did

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Mousedl1 · 20/07/2017 14:24

I have told him if he wants to see his friend on his birthday I will see him the day or evening and he can see them the other one.

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OnionKnight · 20/07/2017 14:24

She sounds bonkers, ignore her.

PovertyPain · 20/07/2017 14:26

I would permanently have my phone ready to record, if I was in her company. You know she's going to deny saying anything or make it seem as if you've totally misunderstood her, don't you?

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