To wonder why on Mumsnet there is a smacking minority and in NZ 85% of people seem to want to do it?

[twentypence]

Lies, damn lies and statistics I know. But apparently NZ's new "anti smacking" law is opposed by 85% of New Zealanders.

Now I haven't looked into the proposed law carefully at all - partly because to actually find a fact amongst all the political posturing and soundbites largely because as I don't smack and never will it doesn't matter to me personally whether it becomes illegal or not.

But 85% just seems so high...

Ekra, tbh, my attitude is what I do in the privacy of my own home is my business. I hate all these bloody laws. I suppose I wouldn't be able to smack in puiblic then ?
It's some what of an irrelvance to me as smacking is always a last resort and certainly I don't remember ever having to smack in public anyway as my children are always very well behaved in the great outdoors.

About leaving a mark? I don't know, I've never checked.

We need to issue the children of the smackers with childline or NSPCC calling cards so they can take advice when they are smacked. Thank goodness the law regulates what people do to their children at home - every day children are abused, burned, beaten, sodomised and the like. A light smack is entirely different and I wouldn't call it abuse but it still can be illegal if it leaves a mark and no one in 2007 really needs to have that as part of their armoury. I'm glad we changed the law as we did and I'm sure it will go further in due course.

MATILDAX

sorry for thread hijack but matildax, its R and i cant find your email address to send you pics of H's hat - can you email me if you still have it

wow kitty, just looked at your profile..6...wow! When is next one due?

are you the same kitty who was going to pole dance at your wedding or something?

LAST WEEK

No, sadly not, did see that thread though. She sounds like a really game girl !!!!!

Oh, congrats! What did you have?

Oh, can't keep up with the names on MN... was imagining you pregnant with your 5 kids in tow, pole dancing in a white dress!

Now that would be amazing.
I was due last week, haven't had it yet mine are always late.

lol at kittylette being mistaken for kittywits
er, not even close

so kittywaits, you are usually kittywits?

flutterbee, very well said. i now, to the relief of some im assuming, will definitely rest my case. goodnight to you all x x

catASTROPHE I am

"I'm sure you're thinking I must be a terrible psychopath who is out of control. Can you see though, that we all lose control at some times, otherwise we would all be able to adhere to our own moral code all of the time and be perfect. Which would be nice."

No, I don't think you are a psycopath, at all. I have been pushed to the brink by my dd1 and felt the urge to lash out and smack her. I don't. I am trying to understand why other people cannot stop themselves.

If a smacking ban came into force in this country, I actually think more parents could stop themselves. I'm not interested in judging people's past behaviour, but going forward, I am sure most people would be able to stop smacking if it were deemed illegal. (teachers managed to stop caning pupils when that became illegal)

Those parents that were not able to stop themselves from lashing out at their children in anger clearly need some help.

A few generations on, the casual smacking of children would be deemed alien and only real abusers would be doing it.

I agree with you Ekra, this is about self-control.

"Ekra, tbh, my attitude is what I do in the privacy of my own home is my business. I hate all these bloody laws. I suppose I wouldn't be able to smack in puiblic then?"

And my attitude is that children deserve to be afforded the same right (not to be hit) as other human beings, whether that is in public or in the privacy of their parents' home.

What else do you think parents should be allowed to do to their children in the privacy of their own homes? {{{{shudder}}}}

catastrophe ? my post isn?t meant to sound like I think I am a better parent because I manage not to smack and you sometimes do. I have made the idea of smacking my child a no-no from the start. It doesn?t register in my repertoire of techniques to deal with my dd1. In my head it would be akin to me hitting my DH. I?d be overstepping the mark in the most severe manner.

My point is that if society at large adhere to the idea of smacking as taboo, reinforced by the law, fewer parents would over-step the mark and those who randomly and casually smack, would be able to stop.

you may be right ekra. It may help. But it may also just marginalise people who are actually good parents who need some help. And we all need some help sometimes. I would love some! I'd love to do a positive parenting course (with free creche available for my DCs), I'd love to have even a small amount of tine with just DH and me, and would love someone to help me with the house work once a week for a few hours. Wouldn't we all!? A pipe dream I know, but these things would make far more difference to how I can cope with my DCs than any law. Its much, much cheaper to pass a law though, and then the government can wash their hands of it.

Ekra I couldn't give two hoots about what other parents do in the privacy of their own homes.

When I smack it is a choice, it has nothing to do with losing control.