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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

End of term reward but only if you can afford it...

169 replies

Afterthenight · 19/07/2017 18:18

Possible unreasonable here and open to admit it.

Dds school are going to a theme park on Friday as an end of term trip. The trip was £50 plus food/spends and then as they were back late we would of needed to get a taxi part back due to no buses into the village at that time. We just couldn't afford it.

Near us there are a tree top wires, zip line place, roller skating/ice skating/bowling/cinema/escape rooms and all kinds of lovely places that the kids would have enjoyed for a fraction of the price.

Those kids who can't afford are in normal lessons all day on Friday with the 'naughty' and children who aren't allowed to go.

Aibu to think they could book somewhere cheaper which meant all children who earned a reward could go.

We were told about the trip two weeks ago.

OP posts:

mamabeak · 20/07/2017 21:40

These kind of trips have been stopped in the Local Authority in which I live and the next one - because of the cost. It is just silly.
However they do still have the P7 outward bound residentials (£200 or so) but there are subsidies for those who need help.

Original poster

Afterthenight · 20/07/2017 21:59

Mamabeak we live in a village in one of those awkward places. The nearest school is an oversubscribed faith school giving priority to children of that faith of which we aren't that faith.

The next school is also oversubscribed and takes on distance. Randomly dd1 did get in years ago in a low birth year but not dd2.

While we are able to access transport to and from school during normal hours for school we aren't able to access transport back into the village late at night. I believe they got back at half ten last year.

OP posts:

hks · 20/07/2017 22:12

i complain to the school as well about how parents are expected to pay this amount at short notice it should be the school that is rewarding the children for their hard work / attendence / behaviour etc

they could have rewarded the kids with a Movie day / buffet / popcorn / juice etc

Our school end of year trip was £10 but on the letter i says it was rewarding pupils for their conduct during the year ....but this included the ones that had caused disruption in class and poor attendance etc shocking !!!!

Maryann1975 · 20/07/2017 22:15

That's shit op. I wouldn't send dd in to school in those circumstances. Our school is doing a ski trip next year, £900. They needed the deposit in on a first come first served basis the next day. The deposit was £175. That separated those that could afford it and those who couldn't at the first stage. It wouldn't be so bad if the trip were in school holidays, but it's not, it's during term time, so the well off kids miss a week of lessons and then get a half term the week after. When I asked in school the difference between me taking dd away on a family holiday (and getting fined) and the school taking kids on a glorified school trip holiday, of course there were lots of reasons why they were different. Very unfair to the majority.
Have a lovely day out, you and your dc and do one of the cheaper activities you mentioned locally.

Whileweareonthesubject · 20/07/2017 22:31

I think it's ridiculous that a reward trip costs that much. Sadly, as it's not classed as an educational trip, the voluntary contribution doesn't apply. In any case, even educational trips/events can only be subsidised to a certain level. This year alone, we've had to cancel three educational trips/events because insufficient voluntary contributions were received. Sadly our budgets no longer allow us to cover the cost of the rising number of parents who choose not to pay.

Wrt the reward, the pp who suggested fundraising at school could be on to something for the future.

SherbrookeFosterer · 20/07/2017 22:42

YANBU - that is a lot of money to conjure up at such sort notice.

Have you spoken to other parents?

I doubt you are alone in finding this unaffordable and I wonder what sacrifices many other parents made among those who did pay up.

An end of term treat should be affordable and inclusive. It might be worth you and other parents making that clear for next time.

IPreferCatstoPeople · 20/07/2017 23:48

I'm a teacher and I think that charging more than a nominal sum for a rewards trip is really shitty. I will be teaching full lessons right up till lunch time tomorrow, and have been all week. It is the way we have always done it and the kids are used to it, so I get little argument. Although I will stuff them full of sweets and chocolate when I send them home at 3.10! We don't finish early, we have a big celebration and rewards assembly in the afternoon.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/07/2017 00:06

DD has earned a couple of treats this year from speech day awards and "won" a couple through attendance and results (Dont.Get.Me.Started) but they are all paid for by the school.

If it had been a case of her getting these treats but me having to fork out for them then the school would have been on the wrong end of my pissed offedness.

I think it is absolutely disgraceful. Its either all or none and if that means that the trip doesnt happen because the school cant pay for it then so be it. Have a treat lunch or something.

This is one of the few things that it worth going to the local paper about, shame them into not doing it again. I wouldnt normally say "Oh go to the press" but in this case I think you must.

Original poster

Afterthenight · 21/07/2017 06:38

Thanks all.
I'm happy to get involved in fundraising for next year and at least I will know in advance next year and be ready for them.

I'm lucky that given a bit of notice I could have paid but tbh I wouldn't want to send dd knowing those who couldn't pay were left behind.

I've already emailed school and I intend to offer to help funds wise somehow for next year for others.

My dd 1st school had a pta funded trip to the cinema which then cost £3 to parents for snacks. Even without pta funding that would have been £8 and more sensible.

OP posts:

Spadequeen · 21/07/2017 06:47

At dd2 school they have a couple of big trips and I did ask the head about the families that couldn't afford it. They are paid for discretely with funds that the pta raise.

Disgusting that an all school trip is not funded the same way or parents arent given enough notice.

Enjoy your skating

Leapfrog44 · 21/07/2017 10:28

Where do you live?? Is this a fee paying school? Our inner city Bristol school would never ask parents to cough up more than a tenner as they know money is tight for lots of parents. That's a disgrace!

Leapfrog44 · 21/07/2017 10:29

I'd be making a MASSIVE FUSS about it if it was me

Notreallyarsed · 21/07/2017 10:33

Our school/nursery always has a contingency fund for parents who can't afford it to make sure that their kids can go. Donations are taken (quietly) throughout the year to add to it too. Having been the single mum who couldn't afford anything when DS1 was small, I try and pay into the donation pot a few times a year because I think it's only right that every child should be able to go on these trips, regardless of family finances.

grannytomine · 21/07/2017 10:39

Afterthenight I hope you are having a great day.

bemusedbewildered · 21/07/2017 14:08

As much as anything else, who wants to fork out £50 extra with the summer holidays looming? Extra childcare bills, extra holiday expenses, extra entertainment expenses. If I were going to spend £50 per child I'd want more. I could find it but I'd be hacked off.

Sparklyglitter · 22/07/2017 08:45

Right I totally get you can't afford it and you are right to say so. Apologies if i'm shooting you down unreasonably but it sounds to me like you said no to the trip and then are ranting on here.

Yes that is a lot of money and yes you have a right to say it's too much money for you with such short notice.

Where I feel you have gone wrong is you should have gone into school and explained your predicament.

I work in a school and we bend over backwards to support parents on low incomes, we've even given lifts to pupils following a risk assessment and the school could have asked other parents going if they could give your son a lift home.

You can't expect to dictate the trip but you should expect support to help you make it happen for your child. It would also not be unreasonable to suggest that they review the trip due to cost for next time in case other parents struggle to pay it too.

Sparklyglitter · 22/07/2017 08:47

Schools will also allow you to spread the cost.

HorridHenrietta23 · 22/07/2017 08:53

I thought schools weren't allowed to say "pay up or don't go" any more. They can only ask for a voluntary contribution.
Our school has a little form which says:

I will pay the full amount.
I can pay....... Of the cost.
I will pay the full amount in 3 instalments.
I am unable to pay.
I will pay for another child.

You tick and sign.

Ticketybootoo · 25/07/2017 19:51

That's unfair on those who can't afford it . It's not inclusive and I would make my feelings known to the school .

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