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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

End of term reward but only if you can afford it...

169 replies

Afterthenight · 19/07/2017 18:18

Possible unreasonable here and open to admit it.

Dds school are going to a theme park on Friday as an end of term trip. The trip was £50 plus food/spends and then as they were back late we would of needed to get a taxi part back due to no buses into the village at that time. We just couldn't afford it.

Near us there are a tree top wires, zip line place, roller skating/ice skating/bowling/cinema/escape rooms and all kinds of lovely places that the kids would have enjoyed for a fraction of the price.

Those kids who can't afford are in normal lessons all day on Friday with the 'naughty' and children who aren't allowed to go.

Aibu to think they could book somewhere cheaper which meant all children who earned a reward could go.

We were told about the trip two weeks ago.

OP posts:
Lovelymess · 20/07/2017 19:20

Very unreasonable, keep her off and go and treat her xx

squishysquirmy · 20/07/2017 19:25

Aaargh this brings back memories... A similar thing happened when I was a teenager, but a few other people including a couple of close friends weren't going to the expensive theme park either. They (understandably) stayed off school and my friends spent the day together doing fun stuff. My mum refused to let me stay off school. Assumed that I was lying about friends staying off, and that the I would get into trouble with school.
I was the ONLY person in my year (and the one below which was also going on the trip) to turn up.
The teachers were Confused about why I was there and what to do with me, so I spent the day being shuttled about between lessons with the younger kids and helping the caretaker clean the scuff marks off the floor Hmm

I am still bitter now!

Please let your kids be "sick" that day if nothing else is organised for them, op.

squishysquirmy · 20/07/2017 19:28

Just saw your update about keeping her off - good! Hope you all have a great day. Grin

Tazerface · 20/07/2017 19:28

YANBU.

I have three kids in the same school no way would I be able to scrounge up £150 at two weeks notice.

Rinoachicken · 20/07/2017 19:30

That's really awful, glad to hear you're keeping her off and doing something fun instead.

DS1 had a trip to a theme park last week. We knew about it two months in advance and the cost £18 per child - £50 is way too much for a day trip, especially at that short notice.

ReesesPeanutButterCups · 20/07/2017 19:36

The expensive residential trips can be skipped and many will skip them. A treat trip should be free or minimal cost. This is unfair and horrible. I've never known a day trip in a school cost more than half that. Most of ours are around £10-£15. £50+ for one day is insane.

Original poster
Afterthenight · 20/07/2017 19:37

Thanks Granny I do have Nector points. Not sure how many but will check.

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 20/07/2017 19:38

I wouldn't send my child on this whether I could afford it or not, it's so horribly unfair. And you should complain to the HT and board.

embod · 20/07/2017 20:03

I think that's absolutely disgraceful and I'm a teacher. Haven't any of the parents challenged the school regarding this!
In my school we fund raise to help subsidise the cost for parents. With our annual residential trip the child that do that do local trips everyday so that don't miss out.

Shona52 · 20/07/2017 20:06

I have a spare 1000 point to use if they are any good to you please let me know. XX

grannytomine · 20/07/2017 20:22

Afterthenight, hope you have enough. My GC love pizza express so a trip to the cinema and a pizza express afterwards is a real treat for them.

LemurintheSun · 20/07/2017 20:31

The school have tried to do something nice, but they haven't totally thought it through. Tell them exactly what you told us, and maybe they'll take it on board & do something a bit cheaper but still fun next year.

MsSusanStoHelit · 20/07/2017 20:38

We're not badly off at all and I would balk at £70-80 (with cabs) at two week's notice. That's really shitty of the school - and it's not like teachers are so well off that they'd not understand that £70 could easily be the whole family's disposal income for a month.

PotatoesAreDelicious · 20/07/2017 20:38

We had the exact same situation last year except my son didn't want to go to the theme park, he doesn't like rides.

I contacted school to explain that staying in school and being in lessons with the children who hadn't earned the right to go on the school trip was not a reward for my child.

They argued that my son should be in school despite the fact that this was a "rewards" day for him. I kept him off.

Even if he was in school, all his mates were on the trip. It felt like he was being punished as there is no alternative reward when staying in school. It is down as an unauthorised absence on his school attendance and I don't care.

Original poster
Afterthenight · 20/07/2017 20:44

Shona that's very kind thank you so much but I think we are going to go skating with our friend who is in the same position. Our local roller rink already have cheap summer offers. Thanks so much for the offer though.

OP posts:
Lunde · 20/07/2017 20:47

This is just awful and how can it be a reward if it segregates the rich and poor children despite earning a reward

I am lucky that my kids went to school in Sweden where schools were not allowed to ask for parental contributions of more than £17 per year - and this included parents providing pack lunches on trips during the year.

Trips were either provided by the school or by class fundraising

AMJ3 · 20/07/2017 20:49

Wth?? If it's supposed to be a reward then the school should be paying. £50 is way too
Much for a day trip and. Its not enough notice imo. I would put in a complaint

Miranda15110 · 20/07/2017 20:57

I wouldn't want my child going to a theme park. Keep your child off on last day and do something fun together x

chocolateworshipper · 20/07/2017 21:01

DD's school do something similar - the children who have been well behaved and tried their best get to go on a trip BUT there are a wide range of trips to cater for all budgets.

Giantwhoopsie · 20/07/2017 21:03

AWFUL

This brings back really awful memories for me.

Last year of primary school (back in early 80's) our school organised an educational but fun trip for all the children in my class to go to the Observatory in Greenwich BUT in order to be allowed to go you had to bring an encyclopaedia in with you so you could read up about it. My parents couldn't afford to buy the encyclopaedia or pay for the trip so I wasn't allowed to go and was one of just three 'poor' children who had to spend the day at school instead. They even read out our names to tell us we would be spending the day at school instead. This kind of thing makes me so angry and I'm horrified schools still think it's ok to ask parents to pay considerable amounts for school trips with very little notice.

Touchmybum · 20/07/2017 21:10

Some 'reward' that stresses parents and upsets kids who can't go.

I don't like the idea of "naughty" children being excluded either. Give a dog a bad name, etc! So they get punished several times for the same 'crime'. What kind of ethos does that school have?!

Sara107 · 20/07/2017 21:17

£50 sounds like a lot, where are they going? I wouldn't pay so much for a day trip. I agree that this is very unfair, a fun day at school would be more appropriate. Seriously, what teacher wants to host an away trip on the last day of term?

Sausagehead · 20/07/2017 21:32

Omg I'm gobsmacked. I would not send her in. It's a disgrace. That is not enough notice and an insane amount of money for a treat day. The school should be subbing children who can't afford it. I'd plan your own super treat day. Tell the school she deserves a treat and will be getting one!!!

Floofborksnootandboop · 20/07/2017 21:33

£50 sounds like a lot, where are they going? Thorpe park for example is £47 I think, so most likely they're just going to one the main theme parks.

mamabeak · 20/07/2017 21:34

Not much notice but I am sure that most local authorities (if in Scotland) have funds to subsidise educational trips (even the erst while activity weeks) for children, at least those on school dinners/uniform grants but also if (like my friend, both parents working. but for voluntary sector/charities so on low salaries ) there are several children to pay for (she has five).

In fact i never known there not to be subsidies for eductaional/school trips.

But I think, in this case, the local authority would have suggested that a nearer venue were found.
IN my experience, too, there is usually the scenario of special arrangement school transport (or HeadTeacher/Teacher) taking kid who live in outlying areas to a reasonable/accessible point on the way home if no transport available and it is not walkable but I would say, a) how come you live so far from the school and is there not ordinarily school transport if it is more than 2 miles on foot for an over 7 year old, 3 for an over 12 year old and
b) suggest the local authority would also brindle at this if there were nearer to school options that would avoid this complication.

And of couse the LEA would be unhappy that there was not time to pay the trip up.

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