Being called 'flower' by a professional male is not on?

[Elendon]

So I'm getting quotes for work being done to my house and one man, who is a professional in his trade, kept calling me 'flower' over the phone. He's coming tonight to assess the work needed doing, and to be honest, he's my only hope in getting the work done.

Do I just smile and nod?

I was just going to point out the 'my lover' term (usually in an extremely broad Bristol accent) which took me by surprise when I worked there for a while. Seemed to be used to everyone by every other person I met there, both at work and when out and about. Takes me right back

YANBU to be a bit irked, (as that is your right.) But he is not being unreasonable to call it you. He doesn't mean any harm.

I get called 'beaut,' 'love,' 'duck,' 'hun,' and 'bab,' by a multitude of folk. Doesn't bother me. The only thing that pisses me off is people who know me (and have met me before a lot of times,) get my fucking name wrong!

I have to ask OP, does it bother you when women call you pet names???

If the answer is no, then you are being a bit unreasonable. (IMO.)

@caretakertonuns
All these awful "flower", "petal", "sunshine", etc names are just microaggressions that males like to use to attempt to assert their dominance over women

Agree with @somerford. That is utter bollocks.

I think that being called 'flower' is a bit of a non-issue - but if it bothers you THAT much then tell the Chap!
Calling you sugar tits or sexy legs would be classed as 'not on'.

@Elendon

I'm just going to smile and nod. (And wear my old track bottoms and t-shirt)

Why do you feel the need to wear your old track bottoms and t-shirt when this man is at your house?

Not willing to respond to that @Elendon? ^

Why do you think you need to wear old track bottoms and t-shirt around this man?

I don't feel the need to do it.

I can wear what I want. Okay?

at your question.

Also, I'm not a flower (he's going to be so disappointed).

Not answering the question then @elendon. Weird.

You can wear what you want of course, but the fact you feel the need to tell everyone on here that you plan to wear trackie bottoms and a t-shirt in front of the man who calls you 'flower' is bizarre and disturbing to say the least.

I know exactly what you mean, but I shan't say anything, just like you're not saying anything.

That's fair enough yes?

I really don't mind someone calling me 'pet' names if we meet face to face and briefly, as in going to the supermarket or a shop. Though most who work damn hard in shops and supermarkets don't actually do this.

But this was a non face to face meeting, over the phone. Sorry, but I do find it creepy when done in that way.

I'm not in trackie bottoms or a t shirt. I'm in my gap chinos and a lovely M&S blouse.

FUKS sake.

Where I live 'love' is used for men and women alike, by men and women alike.

Oh and you are the one who has turned this into weird. @Notknownatthisaddress

If you live in Lancashire, you need to get used to flower, petal, duck, chuck, love etc all done with delightful roll-y consonants. I do believe it's a completely subconscious part of speech for most people. I'm an incomer to Lancs/Cumbria (am Scouser - so add la, lad, lid, luv, and 'yor'right queen?' T
to the list).

Ee by eck.

It's more often than not a term of endearment. It wouldn't even register on my radar to get annoyed, although I'm a Yorkshire lass and we tend to use all sorts of words instead of names, chuck, doll, Hun, sweetie, my favourite is lovely.
My partner is a decent stand up guy all for equality and woman's rights but he'll say cheers love to a female that serves in bar/ shop/ speaks to over phone etc, or cheers bud or chief if it's a guy, and it's never to minimise women, patronise them or as a pp says assert dominance over women. Sometimes the men round here says cheers love to other men. I'd says it's just someone being friendly and no other ulterior motive.

I agree with the 'microaggression' comment. There's always two

I really can't get worked up about this and actually find it quite sweet . Mind you, where I live terms such as 'flower' are used for both men and women (admittedly more for women). I'd be bothered about whether he would do a good job and not whether he called me flower.

Grin and bear it if the work has to be done, sounds like habit for him not personal. You can tell by someone's tone if they're saying something to be funny.

@Elendon

I'm not in trackie bottoms or a t shirt. I'm in my gap chinos and a lovely M&S blouse.

How lovely for you. You can afford Gap, and M & S clothes! Congratulations.

However, I never said you WERE in trackie bottoms and a t shirt right now, (and you know I didn't say that! )

Let's start again shall we.....

YOU SAID (on page 2 of this thread) that when the man who calls you 'FLOWER' comes around to your house, that you will wear your trackie bottoms and T-shirt.

Why? Why do you feel the need to wear trackie bottoms and a t shirt when he comes around to your home?

Are you going to answer the question this time, or are you going to rant 'fuks sake' at me, stealth boast about name brand clothes, and deny what you said?

Just answer the question, WHY do you need to wear trackie bottoms and a t shirt when the man who calls you 'flower' comes to your house?

If you don't answer the question this time, I will surmise that the reason why, IS the reason I suspected.

but when women become microagressive towards other women by calling them petal/flower/duck/hun, it's getting very difficult to identify the weaker sex

Walkingtowork

BTW, on DIY SOS a little while ago, one of the Builders 'Billy' called Prince Harry "Sausage" and he didn't start getting precious about it like you, he merely chuckled.

Like I said in my previous post, I could understand if he was calling you 'Sugar Tits' or 'Sexy Legs' - but he's not, so, lighten up!

Don't move to Bristol then, they'll call you 'my lover' down there!

I honestly wonder about people who get worked up other things like this. Seems like you want an argument for the sake of it.

@Delilah21D00LoT

Like I said in my previous post, I could understand if he was calling you 'Sugar Tits' or 'Sexy Legs' - but he's not, so, lighten up!

This ^ Having a paddy because a man calls you 'flower' is pathetic.

As is dressing down when he comes to your house, because if you look your best and wear a nice M & S frock, he won't be able to resist you, and will probably jump on you PMSL! 😂😂😂

I was expecting to get all aerated thinking it was a make colleague.

But no, a tradesman doesn't owe you the same professional courtesy, so yeah it's fine.. like love, hen or a.n.other regional term

When I was a stroppy young thing, I'd have objected to being called anything but my name.
These days (having recently had to organise a plumber and a joiner for the same day) they could call me the Whore Of Babylon so long as they fixed my floor and fitted my new loo!
I don't think I'm less feminist, just that with maturity I've learnt the skill of picking my battles. Also, there is only one plumber within 50 miles of here!