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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find Local people rather like Edward and Tubbs (League of Gentlemen)

90 replies

ItsALocalPlaceForLocalPeople · 19/07/2017 09:20

When I was 8 my family moved up north. I started school and was immediately singled out by the majority of classmates for being 'posh' ie I had an accent that was from elsewhere in the country.

When I started work the question asked about anyone new starting 'are they local?'. And had many conversations starting with 'you know Joe's aunt's, cousin's, sisters, dogs girlfriend's budgie?' 'No, I'm not local remember'...'oh yes'...turns to cleaner 'you know....' 'oh yes!' .

Moved place again before dc was born. When dc started preschool, all the localism cropped up again, with my now ex husband joining in with who's local children we should compare our local child to (and attempting to get some sort of competition going to impress other parents). The parents were the queen bee's from the school he went to.

I have realised over time at school, there is a small group of Local friends (all went to same secondary school), who also are governors at school or work in reception or have siblings working at the school, New people from outside the area who are wannabes and are friendly with them, and spread gossip to them, then further out folk who are Local, and accept the norm's and standards of the Local friends behaviour and their children's behaviour, without a mummer, and are also accepted to chat to the Local friends group as they are.....Local.

I really have grown up with a chip on my shoulder about it all. I have never been local. I left my place of birth when I was a year old. So never had that feeling of belonging in a community. Never had multiple family members in my community.

I personally find, some, not all rather narrow minded...I'm guessing because they have never left the place they were born, or their parents, or their parents parents? Should add I clash with the majority view as I am vegetarian (farmers and hunters around here, or its seen as 'natural' by those who don't do either), and the Locals struggle with the fact I don't eat meat (no I don't make a song and a dance about it, I am very laid back, I only mention it if someone is going to prepare food). I spend time with my children (Local parents seem to put their children into many competitive clubs to compete against each other at an early age, also leave them with their mother's, frequently) and I have a different gentler parenting philosophy (not to the point of no discipline!). I think moving around, and being rejected by Local people for being different to their social norms, has made me grow up open minded and generally tolerant of other's being different to me, so long as they respect the fact that I have the right to be different to them.

To sum up, I just bloody resent the sheer narrow mindedness and constant rejection, for the crime of being a) not Local b) different. I do have friends who are Local, and are genuinely lovely, accepting, human beings. But I have just met so much Localism since I moved up here as a child, it bloody grates on my nerves!

Back to the title, when The League of Gentlemen came out I was bloody delighted to see Edward and Tubbs, as it demonstrated (with exaggeration!) what I had experienced, Locally.

Does anyone else experience Localism? How does it make you feel? How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
Floellabumbags · 19/07/2017 21:49

Don't blame Yorkshire. I live in Yorkshire and I'm an incomer and it's bloody brilliant.

CheeseAndOnionIcecream · 19/07/2017 23:21

This post reminded me of an incident that happened to me a few years back. I live in a west London suburb. My DM who lived about 15 miles was going away for a long weekend and asked if I could stay at her place for the weekend to feed her 4 cats. While I was there,I had to collect a prescription and took it into the pharmacy in the local town. After handing it to the assistant,she said she'd just go and check that they had the item in stock. I then overheard her talking to her colleague (the pharmacist,I think). She said 'I've never seen her before. I don't think she's local'. The colleague replied 'Well the address on the prescription is not from round here'. Meanwhile I was standing,bemused at this turn of events. She came back out and said 'Sorry,we don't have them in stock at the moment'. This was too much for me and I replied 'I thought that might be the case. Reserving them for someone who's local,are you?' She just looked strangely at me. I mean,this wasn't some back-of-beyond tiny village,it was a London suburb,but the 'local' mentality seemed to be alive and well there!

Wellysocksbox · 19/07/2017 23:32

I lived in Yorkshire - east yorkshire as well - for 11 years and found the locals warm, funny, kind, sociable and caring. We moved down south for work and it's taken me 3 years just to get a nod in the school playground.

OP, I hate to say it, but it's not them. It's you.

daddyorscience · 20/07/2017 01:56

I live in a tiny village, it's all "are you local?", And "local shops for local people, there nothing for you here"..Grin but when I lived in broseley, my ex always said people acknowledged me and ignored her because I "walked like a local"...(medical condition)..GrinGrin fair cracked me up.

KickAssAngel · 20/07/2017 04:37

I once dated a guy whose mother had never travelled further than 10 miles from home. They once had a council house in a village 3 miles from home, and she was so ill from being homesick that the council rehoused them back to her home town.
I'm from Kent. When I went to visit she was really worried that I wouldn't eat anything because coming from down south I'd want posh food that she didn't know about.
She stopped speaking to her son when he went to college.
That's Royston Vasey for you!

MaisyPops · 20/07/2017 07:12

I've lived in Manchester and the anti-southern sentiment, (bordering on racism I suppose in a way) can be quite draining

I had seem sympathy until that point.

Then you suggested that north/south banter is bordering on racism. And then you just sound ridiculous.

The north south thing is mainly just a laugh, and partly (probably) due to the north being screwed over systematically by various governments (who are almost always posh southerners). On a daft level it's 'snow drifts in cumbria- not news. Sprinkle of snow in London - national emergency!' Grin

rabbitcakes · 20/07/2017 07:24

I just I knew you were going to say Yorkshire.

TheDonald · 20/07/2017 07:42

From someone who lives a mile from "Royston Vasey" (or, at least, the village where it was filmed), you most definitely do NOT want to be Local With A Capital L. The Facebook group is a fucking hoot though.

Maid i think we're neighbours! The Facebook group is a source of constant joy, from grumpy anti-child cafe owners to the current occupation of land!

I am a southern exile and have been here 13 years. I'm definitely still an outsider and probably always will be. I don't notice it so much now that I don't have a child at primary. No one was ever rude or unfriendly, but there are a lot of parents and grandparents round here who went to school together, who have known each other for years.

Most of my local friends aren't "locals". Not because they are unfriendly but I think it's because they have enough friends already!

MaidOfStars · 20/07/2017 10:27

The Facebook group is a source of constant joy, from grumpy anti-child cafe owners to the current occupation of land
We definitely ARE neighbours. Grin

ClaireSunflower · 20/07/2017 19:55

Reading your original post I was sure you were talking about North Yorkshire. My husband is from Otley and we live in London. Whenever I visit with him I feel very out of place and it has a very 'local' league of gentleman feeling. Everyone knows each other and seem to spend most of the time gossiping about each other!

barefoofdoctor · 20/07/2017 20:57

YANBU. Derbyshire is full on Vasey. I bloody love it (and will never leave).

LazyDailyMailJournos · 20/07/2017 22:00

I love Yorkshire - have never had an issue with 'localism' personally but I have a few friends who live in North Yorks and some of the smaller villages can be a bit closed in terms of welcoming outsiders.

I have lived in a couple of places up in Scotland where localism was alive and kicking along with anti-English sentiment. Fortunately it was only a small contingent of people, but it did get rather wearing having to constantly apologise for being English. Still a bloody brilliant place to live though and I'd move back there again in a shot.

DaviesMum · 20/07/2017 22:16

I get this in the area where I work, a smaller LA with a handful of towns. The local...wildlife...sneers at anywhere slightly more metropolitan, despite the fact local lteracy standards are shite and the average wage is a good bit below the national average. I makes you wonder how the LoG types really see themselves.

Tanith · 22/07/2017 01:37

Papa Lazarou was based on their landlord, who would only talk to Steve (they switched Steve for Dave).

Tubbs was actually based on a Southerner, not Northern at all. They visited a grockle shop near Brighton where the proprietor was terrified of them touching "the precious things".
The Wicker Man link is well known, but they also used Peter Cushing's creepy shopkeeper in From Beyond the Grave for some of the dialogue.

CruCru · 22/07/2017 16:01

Yes, I think the LOcal Shop was based on a shop in Rottingdean. They said that the woman who worked there appeared to be terrified of them because they weren't local. Which is strange because Rottingdean does get quite a few visitors.

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