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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find Local people rather like Edward and Tubbs (League of Gentlemen)

90 replies

ItsALocalPlaceForLocalPeople · 19/07/2017 09:20

When I was 8 my family moved up north. I started school and was immediately singled out by the majority of classmates for being 'posh' ie I had an accent that was from elsewhere in the country.

When I started work the question asked about anyone new starting 'are they local?'. And had many conversations starting with 'you know Joe's aunt's, cousin's, sisters, dogs girlfriend's budgie?' 'No, I'm not local remember'...'oh yes'...turns to cleaner 'you know....' 'oh yes!' .

Moved place again before dc was born. When dc started preschool, all the localism cropped up again, with my now ex husband joining in with who's local children we should compare our local child to (and attempting to get some sort of competition going to impress other parents). The parents were the queen bee's from the school he went to.

I have realised over time at school, there is a small group of Local friends (all went to same secondary school), who also are governors at school or work in reception or have siblings working at the school, New people from outside the area who are wannabes and are friendly with them, and spread gossip to them, then further out folk who are Local, and accept the norm's and standards of the Local friends behaviour and their children's behaviour, without a mummer, and are also accepted to chat to the Local friends group as they are.....Local.

I really have grown up with a chip on my shoulder about it all. I have never been local. I left my place of birth when I was a year old. So never had that feeling of belonging in a community. Never had multiple family members in my community.

I personally find, some, not all rather narrow minded...I'm guessing because they have never left the place they were born, or their parents, or their parents parents? Should add I clash with the majority view as I am vegetarian (farmers and hunters around here, or its seen as 'natural' by those who don't do either), and the Locals struggle with the fact I don't eat meat (no I don't make a song and a dance about it, I am very laid back, I only mention it if someone is going to prepare food). I spend time with my children (Local parents seem to put their children into many competitive clubs to compete against each other at an early age, also leave them with their mother's, frequently) and I have a different gentler parenting philosophy (not to the point of no discipline!). I think moving around, and being rejected by Local people for being different to their social norms, has made me grow up open minded and generally tolerant of other's being different to me, so long as they respect the fact that I have the right to be different to them.

To sum up, I just bloody resent the sheer narrow mindedness and constant rejection, for the crime of being a) not Local b) different. I do have friends who are Local, and are genuinely lovely, accepting, human beings. But I have just met so much Localism since I moved up here as a child, it bloody grates on my nerves!

Back to the title, when The League of Gentlemen came out I was bloody delighted to see Edward and Tubbs, as it demonstrated (with exaggeration!) what I had experienced, Locally.

Does anyone else experience Localism? How does it make you feel? How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
SylviaPoe · 19/07/2017 11:16

If you don't like where you live, could you move?

Potentialpoochowner · 19/07/2017 11:25

Depends where in Yorkshire doesn't it. A tiny village somewhere - then yes, it's probably them not you. Leeds, York, Sheffield, even Harrogate , then it's probably you, not them.

Potentialpoochowner · 19/07/2017 11:27

Shit. I'm moving to a village in NYorks though. I don't know anyone there. Is it all going to end up like The Wicker Man?

WomanWithAltitude · 19/07/2017 11:28

I wasn't meaning anything rude about Harrogate! :-D

Just that it's a not a big city, and much of the area around it is fairly rural, but it still has none of the issues listed in the OP.

MaidOfStars · 19/07/2017 11:31

Royston Vasey...Sorry, that's what if feels like. Yorkshire
From someone who lives a mile from "Royston Vasey" (or, at least, the village where it was filmed), you most definitely do NOT want to be Local With A Capital L. The Facebook group is a fucking hoot though.

WomanWithAltitude · 19/07/2017 11:32

Pooch - I know people living in villages and small towns all over North Yorks, some 'local', some not 'local'. None of them have described anything like the Wicker Man! People are people. On the whole, if you are friendly and don't see yourself as different/superior, then people will relate to you.

WomanWithAltitude · 19/07/2017 11:35

I'm interested to know where in Yorkshire the OP is. North/West/South/East? Are we talking a tiny village (in which case why not leave?), Skipton, Hull, Doncaster....? They're all very different.

Elledouble · 19/07/2017 11:38

Maybe they think you've come to steal the precious things of the shop? [helpful] Grin

Sunshinegirls · 19/07/2017 11:44

Communities are constantly being "diluted" with incomers and have been forever. I think if you looked then you would find that the actual "locals" are actually outnumbered. This is a good thing! Rise above any negative comments from "locals" because I bet they probably actually aren't as "pureblood" as they'd like to think!

ChocolateRicecake · 19/07/2017 11:46

Whilst I can't relate to the 'discrimination' to which you refer, I do find (living as an 'outsider' in an area where many families travel little) it odd how little curiosity some people have about the wider world.

ItsALocalPlaceForLocalPeople · 19/07/2017 11:49

Bit of a mix of opinions! So some relate, some don't.

Its not Harrogate. Or Holmfirth. Or Wales :D (loved that story!)

Sorry I did seem to implicate the whole of Yorkshire. I am commenting on the behaviour of Locals I have met from the small towns and rural areas I have lived. I've lived in York before, and found it a breath of fresh air.

I cannot move currently. But certainly dreamed of it!

Sneering is a bit harsh. I am very sociable when I am out and about, I mix happily with most people, if I don't get on with someone (or sense they are not keen to talk) I do stick to a friendly smile and hello and move on.

However I have seen 'Locals' completely blank 'outsiders' for years. Not just one or two (could be explained as they had some disagreement or something) but a large number of people. I mainly find it very rude. Saying hello even if someone isn't your cup of tea won't kill you.

Yes mummers all around me here...

OP posts:
MsRinky · 19/07/2017 11:51

Maybe it is you. I moved around a lot as a child, and then moved to a small town in North Yorkshire at 16, where I was a novelty "posh" person for about a fortnight. Never felt this way.

My parents who are originally from Ireland and the Midlands now live in a much more remote part of the Dales and they don't suffer from it, neither do my in-laws who have moved from West Yorkshire to a teeny tiny village in the Wolds, and they don't either.

I take it back if you live in Dewsbury though, then it is them, not you. I worked there for a year, and about 70% of the students at the college had never been as far as Leeds - a 15 minute train ride away.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 19/07/2017 11:54

I know what you mean. I don't feel local and have an accent for a place where I last lived 30 years ago. I didn't feel local when I returned to my home town part way through childhood.

I'm in a city in a modern suburb so no one has lived here 35+ years without at least moving neighbourhood, but go 6 miles up the road to one of the small, just about self sufficient towns and they look at you as if you've got at least 3 heads for living 6 miles away and having no relations within 50 miles. There's towns like this through the county. Part of it is that they are former pit towns that traditionally didn't need to value education. Until the 80s/ 90s there was decent work on the doorstep and no need to move outside of a tight knit community.

I've nothing against the people (indeed I've loved working in some of these communities and generally prefer them to the mindset of very aspirational neighbourhoods where people are regularly trying to prove something), but as a society, they can be a bit naive and lacking experience. Those with aspirations move on, and that means those left behind continue the cycle. As a teacher, I've often found the kids hard to teach but lovely to know.

Wawawaa · 19/07/2017 12:10

If you have a southern accent, from my experience, a lot of people from 'up north' can be quite hostile to that. I've lived in Manchester and the anti-southern sentiment, (bordering on racism I suppose in a way) can be quite draining. I know other people who have stories that make me think the north/south thing can be difficult for southerners living north of maybe Birmingham (e.g. northern men not wanting to date a southern woman or if so, constant belittling etc). I don't think there's really any anti-northern sentiment down south though, or certainly not to the same degree...

Nettletheelf · 19/07/2017 12:32

Aha! So it is North Yorkshire!

Tanith · 19/07/2017 14:40

Two of TLOG grew up in Yorkshire (Leeds and Hull) so it's probably not surprising the sketches feel familiar.

It does happen elsewhere, though. My FIL was from near Cardiff and, when they moved to Swansea, every job interview asked him "Are you a Swansea boy?". Maybe that's why Tubbs was so fixated with it Grin

I grew up in an area where "Local" meant "not all there", so had a bit of a different interpretation. I assumed their sketches were drawing on Tubbs' and Edwards' inbred weirdness. Apparently not, though.

Fitzsimmons · 19/07/2017 14:45

West Cumbria here. I'm not local, so whilst people are friendly, it doesn't really get past that. All the friends I've made since moving here are "incomers" like me. I honestly expected you to state you lived near me, my experience is very similar.

QueenLaBeefah · 19/07/2017 14:45

The small town in Scotland I grew up in was/is like that. Some people are so local that their surname is the same as the town and go back generations.

If you weren't local you were never truly accepted and God help you if you had an English accent.

I couldn't wait to leave.

whifflesqueak · 19/07/2017 14:53

I'm a local.

Grown up and stayed put in a village of about 50 dwellings.

I work in the local pub, run the local toddler group and am marrying a local farmer.

I hope I am never anything other than welcoming and inclusive to all our newcomers. I'll be making a special effort after riding this!

whifflesqueak · 19/07/2017 14:54

READING. After reading this.

MargaretTwatyer · 19/07/2017 14:54

New people from outside the area who are wannabes and are friendly with them

So they don't just limit themselves to the locals. I think the word here is 'friendly'. You sound like you look right down on them and judge them so they're not going to be beating a path to your door are they?

I am a cockney who lives in Yorkshire and even have a forrin' DH but we've never had a problem:

BroomstickOfLove · 19/07/2017 14:57

I've certainly observed at least as much anti-Northern sentiment from southerners as vice versa. It tends to be less in the form of blanket insults towards Northerners so much as a baffled astonishment at any evidence of intellectual or cultural sophistication North of the Watford gap.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 19/07/2017 15:39

I moved to Yorkshire from somewhere poshe, I've never experienced this. I've always found the people to be friendly, they do comment that I'm not local (ha ha) when they meet me for the first time, but never in a nasty way.

Maybe you should move. Although I'm not sure where to because everywhere has people who are local to it.

alltouchedout · 19/07/2017 15:39

I've lived in Manchester and the anti-southern sentiment, (bordering on racism I suppose in a way) can be quite draining.

That's interesting- I moved to Manchester almost 6 years ago and the only comments I've had on my southern accent have been nice. When I lived in Swansea for a while I did get a fair bit of stick for my English accent but half my family are Welsh, I'm used to that :)

MaidOfStars · 19/07/2017 15:56

I've lived in Manchester and the anti-southern sentiment, (bordering on racism I suppose in a way) can be quite draining
I've worked in Manchester for 12 years, and lived there for a good deal of that time (now living next door to "Royston Vasey"). I cannot remember a time in Manchester where the North/South thing wasn't simply a bit of fond banter.

Racism? FFS.

That's the kind of thing that the practical, no-nonsense Northerners would regard as Southern soft shite. Wink

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