Child's modelling fees

[Newnameoldface]

So. DD (6) has been booked quite frequently as a child model..her fees go into an account and she has around £9000 in there and no signs of her bookings drying up. I also have an account for her I save her child benefit (so £20 a week for 6.5 years) plus her pocket money of £5 a week and any money gifts she gets..this account is another almost £9000

I'm a very struggling poor single mum and can't afford holidays..dd is obsessed my idea of going to Paris; Eifel tower, Loivre, boat trip down the river (and Disney). Would I be completely out of order to pay for some of it out of "her" money?

To OP. Use the child benefit account. Trips that Daughter wishes for should not add to 9K. So should have some left and remember Child Benefit will be received for many more years to come.

If you have struggled by saving child benefit you deserve a holiday too.

Your 6 year old does violin, swim, ballet, tap, theatre craft,jazz, horse riding, surfing and gymnastic lessons plus has a modelling career and you do literacy and numeracy with her?

Gosh. What a busy little girl she is.

I also thought this. And there's no way you are a 'poor, struggling single mum' if you can afford the above, as well making sure DD is 'beautifully turned out'. How do you afford the costs of taking DD to her casting calls and shoots? And if you're working, how do you find the time to go to them?

My dd (9) does loads of activities. It stemmed from a difficult year at school, unkind mums of her friends (including parental bullying from one mum through their child) and I needed to keep dd very very busy as she was an emotional wreck and didn't want to go to school anymore. I recently put my foot down and told dd she would be dropping 2 activities as she was doing one every single day. She has loads of energy btw.

Personally, I think your 6 yr old is doing too much. I think she's missing out of spending quality time, with a lovely mum, who obviously adores her. She is also missing out on down time, which is really important for a child.

Secondly, I totally agree with taking the child benefit money back from your dd. I'd also stop with the pocket money. If you are struggling, I also think there is nothing wrong with using your dds money for expenses for modelling. So any special clothing or travel/hotel/food costs etc. If this were your job then you'd have to pay these expenses, which would be tax deductible. I'd also tell your dd you are doing this and explain why. So talk to her a lot. I can't imagine you really have much time to talk right now.

I am the scapegoat of a narcissistic mother. I see you're being treated very badly by your mother. And perhaps other family members? My mother is bloody awful to me. The only advice I can give to you is to stop listening to her and put distance between the two of you. You are a parent now. You make the decisions on your, your child's money and the way in which you bring up your child. Does your mother do a lot of childcare? If she does, could this change?

I also thought this. And there's no way you are a 'poor, struggling single mum' if you can afford the above, as well making sure DD is 'beautifully turned out'. How do you afford the costs of taking DD to her casting calls and shoots? And if you're working, how do you find the time to go to them?

What great advice 😕. OP, spend the Child Benefit money, it's yours. Oh and don't tell your family any more of your business.

Child benefit is a payment that is aimed at helping parents cope with the cost of bringing up children.

It most certainly isn't for hoarding in a savings account.

Use it. It's what it's there for.

I used to call CB my 'gin money'!

Joking aside @Pyong makes a good point - where is the CB your 'M' (not a DM is she?) received when you were a child - did she give you it all as a lump sum? Can you use this to go to Paris!? If not don't give the CB 'savings' a second thought - as clearly such a lovely trip would be great for your daughter anyway!

Regarding funds held (I assume) in 'trust' - then these can be used for a child's 'education, welfare and maintenance' - and so don't totally have to be 'kept'. From recollection only - long time since I did trust law! - this is quite widely interpreted (so pays for public school / ponies / 'educational' trips abroad - etc) and is whatever those rich enough not to pay taxes can get away with really. I remember Chancery Courts with some affection - if you want to see the worst of human behaviour go here (not criminal courts) and see rich people fight over money!

You sound like a great mum but need more self confidence. Don't struggle with money when you don't need to. Like others have said, use the child benefit. Mine just goes into the bank and covers the general cost of living alone with two children!

Your finances are your own business not your mums. Don't let her make you feel guilty. She had her shot at parenting.

YANBU OP. A colleague of mine (both in medical profession) told me in passing that she uses her dc's savings money to buy their christmas/birthday presents. I was a bit horrified by that and my face must have said it all and she then went on to say it was better that then them getting into debt, which I think is right.

You say you are a poor and struggling, not sure if you are on benefits but just be aware that your dd's savings will be counted towards benefit entitlement and you would be expected to live off that before being eligible to claim. I think £5k is the threshold.

Child benefit - the clue is in the name - money to be spent for the benefit of the child (food, clothes, nappies etc) not "save for when they're an adult" benefit.
TBH, I think YANBU to actually take your expenses out of the modelling fees (petrol etc) if you're hard up, but perhaps all the extra activities are taking a substantial chunk of money that could be saved for a holiday?
You sound like you really want the best for your DD - ignore those saying the CB money is hers to be saved

That list of activities sounds like the sister Annabelle in Mr Stink

I save £30 a month of dd child benefit and the rest goes on swimming lessons or ballet lessons it went on nappies and wipes when she was wee. Use it you dont fet given it to put it away its to ease the pressure x

ASk her if she wants to spend some of her earnings on a nice holiday, and as too the other oh yes that old chestnut, and did you get all your CB of your parents when you turned 18.

Do you see how daft it is to say you struggling when between you and dd you have savings of 18.000 £.
That is bonkers
Go on holiday.
You could go to Paris for a luxury week and still have 17.000 left.
If you and dd want to spend dome money now do so.
And use the child benefit for day to day costs

Stop listening to your mother.