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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child's modelling fees

88 replies

Newnameoldface · 18/07/2017 23:19

So. DD (6) has been booked quite frequently as a child model..her fees go into an account and she has around £9000 in there and no signs of her bookings drying up. I also have an account for her I save her child benefit (so £20 a week for 6.5 years) plus her pocket money of £5 a week and any money gifts she gets..this account is another almost £9000

I'm a very struggling poor single mum and can't afford holidays..dd is obsessed my idea of going to Paris; Eifel tower, Loivre, boat trip down the river (and Disney). Would I be completely out of order to pay for some of it out of "her" money?

OP posts:
Original poster
Newnameoldface · 18/07/2017 23:40

Brutus I know it sounds hardcore.. but the dancing is all one day; some
Clubs once a fortnight..we are lucky it's just her and I and we spend a lot
Of time just us two being silly! Our weekends are ours
(After sat 11am) and all the holidays are free! No worse than a full
Time working mother!

OP posts:
nokidshere · 18/07/2017 23:42

20 pounds a week for 6.5 years is almost £6,800. Money that the majority of use use for the children's living expenses. It's silly to be struggling whilst saving money that's to help you raise your child.

Use the child benefit money for the trip and then when you get back start using it to make sure you aren't struggling for things. Anything else is just madness.

glasshalfemp · 18/07/2017 23:46

Why would You not spend the money that couldn't be 'earned' if you didn't facilitate it. It's ALL your money. Crazy thinking to be broke whilst your child has money. ReallyConfused

Original poster
Newnameoldface · 18/07/2017 23:52

Ah glass it's just what my parents told me...they told me to set this direct debit up as it "her" money and I've never really questioned it!! Dd has everything she needs..I've always been 3rd class citizen in my family and not deserving and expecting too much; so just figured I'm a fuck up and they are right;dd deserves so much better... so I save her money

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 18/07/2017 23:55

The child benefit and pocket money are very silly things to save when she has so much money in earnings.

Stop seeing that as hers, see it as your savings as a family for holidays and treats. Her earnings are hers, her gifts are hers but the CB and the pocket money is yours (I include the pocket money because frankly she doesnt need it right now and when she is older she will want the cash in hand and not in savings). Keep saving the CB and £5 a week, but as I said, for holidays.

You could have a fantastic holiday in France for that, especially if you drive. We did a week in Normandy and then a week in Paris with Eurocamp for less than £1000 and it was brilliant. Or you could have 10 days with Eurocamp and a couple of days at a Disney hotel tacked onto the end.

BurberryBlue · 18/07/2017 23:56

I find it most odd that dd at 6 is a child model.Heavens!If I was you I should put the earned money into a high interest account and direct dd to a path of learning.Teaching ones children that looks earns ££ is not healthy in my opinion.

MsSusanStoHelit · 18/07/2017 23:56

Child benefit is for you, not her. It's so you can bring her up, not for her to have when she's grown.

Stop one of her activities (SO MANY!!) and keep the child benefit back from now on and save it on your own in a holiday fund. Have her "help" you save by giving up a bit of her pocket money, say £1 or 50p a week. At that rate you can both go to Disneyland Paris in 6 months and she'll understand that you have to save for things, but you'll still be able to afford it.

cestlavielife · 18/07/2017 23:57

Child benefit is to be spent
Most people spend it on nappies food clothes
Stop listening to your family
Take the saved up child benefit and do what you like
You are an adult now
You decide
None of their business

Shadow666 · 18/07/2017 23:59

If she enjoys the child modeling then it's fine. The reality is that looks do earn money.

Use the child benefit but keep her modeling earnings, gifts etc for her.

Ellisandra · 18/07/2017 23:59

Weird that you're old enough to have a child but still do what your parents tell you to Confused

My 8yo does a similar long list of activities, so no comment from me that it's too many. BUT - you clearly have plenty of leisure money (though I get that you choose these classes over a holiday). So if she wants to go to Paris, then ease off on the classes a bit and save for it.

Of course you can spend the CB savings on this trip. I think that £5 pocket money for a 6yo is ridiculous - is it not actually spending but saving money too? If it's savings then go ahead and spend that on the trip too.

Gift money fine to spend on her in this way, if given for you to choose the gift. If given with intention of it being "for her future" then I wouldn't spend it on a holiday in short term.

I wouldn't touch her earnings - sensibly earmarked for later, and I don't think her earnings should pay for you to go anyway, only her. (albeit she wouldn't have those earnings without you ferrying her around! So I get that it's complicated)

I might consider letting her spend earnings if you couldn't fund it otherwise - but you have 6 years of CB to spend.

Original poster
Newnameoldface · 19/07/2017 00:01

Burberry I would agree wholeheartedly.. having her as a child model was nothing I wanted. However she was approached after a dance show and its spiralled. She just thinks she's
Wearing pretty clothes and playing with cool toys mostly! I won't turn down a few hours playing on the beach for
£500 in her savings!

OP posts:
Lynnm63 · 19/07/2017 00:03

Child benefit is to help pay for things for your child be that nappies, food, school uniform, pocket money or holidays. Use it as you see fit. When mine were in primary I didn't give pocket money as they didn't want anything.
burberryblue like it or not looks do pay. As long as op isn't saying to her dd "ugly people are worth less" or "you don't need to study you're pretty" there isn't a problem. Not everyone can play football would you tell their parent not to sign them up for a football academy.

Italiangreyhound · 19/07/2017 00:03

Use the child benefit money for the trip. I would also make sure the modelling money covers your costs, e.g. if you take time off work to take her to an appointment or go by taxi, these are expenses which her fees should pay for.

Ellisandra · 19/07/2017 00:05

It's not in the least bit odd that she's a child model Hmm
You never seen a clothing website then?

I think parents of child models have a responsibility to guide their child through it.

My friend's child modelled for a bit. She was well aware that she was chosen based on looks. But that it was "for a look" not "her looks". She knew it wasn't about being "the prettiest" but being available, local, well behaved, confident in front of a camera, fitting a vision for that brand... (oh and patience - she said it was boring a lot of the time!)

I wouldn't like to manage that with my child, but good luck and no judgement to those who do.

As a consumer, I like seeing clothing shots on children, so I'm glad some are modelling.

Original poster
Newnameoldface · 19/07/2017 00:06

And thank you for posts saying I can spend her CBenefit money!! I thought I would be awful to
Want to do that! And yes my
Parents treat me like a child and speak to me dreadfully!

Dd is also incredibly clever; we spend a lot of time together everyday working on literacy; numeracy etc!

OP posts:
MotherPie · 19/07/2017 00:06

You are not struggling if you've got £18,000 saved for your 6yo Hmm. Her 'savings' and activities alone must cost £200+ a month.

BeepBeepMOVE · 19/07/2017 00:06

Pocket money shouldn't be going gin a long term saving for a house fund. It's for children to learn the value of money. For her to spend as she want's/ understand when it runs out that she has to wait/ save for a few weeks to afford bigger things.

A;sp you are mad to have been saving the CB, that is for the everyday essentials/ day to day keep. Spend that on the holiday. And buy yourself a small treat if you've been spending all your money on DD.

WhichJob · 19/07/2017 00:11

I wouldn't describe us as struggling but we use every penny of child benefit each money on providing for our children, that it what it is there for.

WhichJob · 19/07/2017 00:11

each month!

Original poster
Newnameoldface · 19/07/2017 00:12

Spending child benefit.. 6 months after I had dd my mother asked me where the CB money was..I'd spend it on breast pumps /nappies / car seat and my mum was furious saying that money was for dd not me; so I've been to scared to spend it!!

OP posts:
WhichJob · 19/07/2017 00:13

Buying nappies is spending it on your dd! You don't have to justify yourself to your mum.

HorridHenryrule · 19/07/2017 00:14

Op you did spend that money on your dd for the things she needs. Your mother sounds barking mad.

Gemini69 · 19/07/2017 00:14

Your Mother is wrong and needs to butt the heck out of it x

user1476869312 · 19/07/2017 00:14

Have your parents always been bullies, or does this stem from some disgusting ideas they have that, being a single mother, you should suffer and be punished in some way?
Whatever they actually think, it is not up to them how you spend your money. Take your DD to Disneyland if she wants to go. Use the child benefit. Ignore your parents. Their opnions are stupid.

HorridHenryrule · 19/07/2017 00:16

Its as if you shouldn't enjoy your dd and she shouldn't have any nice holidays or memories. She may resent you for it later.