One in ten smoke in pregnancy

[SoTheMoon]

AIBU to be totally shocked by this?

I honestly thought it was much, much lower. Government target announced today is to get it down to 6%.

If I see an obviously pregnant smoker, I judge them, stare at them and try to deliberately make them feel uncomfortable by pointedly staring at their bump and coughing

I had a missed miscarriage at four months of pregnancy, picked up on a scan a few days after my baby died. I ended up going to the shops and walking around and around and around. Then, even though I hadn't smoked in almost two years, I begged a cigarette off the security guard and I sat and smoked it. I was visibly pregnant. If you'd stared and coughed and attempted to make me feel uncomfortable I'd have fucking lamped you. You should turbans channel your judgmental attitude into more productive channels or else speak to your GP about this obsessive attitude you have, it really isn't healthy to deliberately make other people uncomfortable or to scrutinise and fixate their choices so closely.

Women have bodily autonomy and, legally, a foetus is not a person until it is born therefore as things currently stand the rights of the foetus do not trump the rights of the mother. Women (and their partners) should be given the facts and offered support and then the decision should be left to them with no judgement or comment from anyone else because a, it's their body and their choice and b, it's got fuck all to do with anyone else.

Shame on you Fuckyduck.

A woman opens about her vulnerabilities and past suicidality, and this is your response? How can you possibly judge other people for anything when you consider this acceptable behaviour?

I am so glad that I had a mother who, though she smoked through pregnancy, taught me kindness and empathy. Much better than a clean-living mother with consideration for people inside the womb but none for those outside it.

Can we ask for this thread to be deleted?
Many women have come on to share their reasons for smoking during pregnancy in the hope it'd help the non smokers understand its not black and white. And the majority of us do. But the minority who are severely lacking in empathy are on the attack and its not pleasant.

You can't be selfish when you're a parent so don't be so bloody ridiculous.

I beg to differ, there are times I absolutely have to be selfish in order to carry on being a parent because as the saying goes "you can't pour water from an empty jug". I insist on regular periods of selfishness during which I do whatever I want to do for me.

Yes this isn't a feminist issue.

Even though I have never once seen a man with a small baby given abuse for smoking.

Even though he has significantly increased his child's risks of SIDS.

I do hope all of you perfect judgey bastards parents breastfeed for at least 2 years. Never take your children in the car and have taught your babies to swim from the start. I hope none of your children are slightly overweight and eat their ten fruit and veg a day.

Because remember all of you who say "it's only 9 months" that's it's only 9 months if you're an incredibly shit parent and that it is in fact their entire childhood that impacts on their life span.

I also hope none of you were at all over weight during your pregnancy and never ate the wrong cheese or the wrong milk or the wrong bag of salad.

I get that parents have responsibility for their children and should make sacrifices. However in a family, the mother's needs and wants also factor in. Otherwise she sacrifices herself for the family entirely. I suspect some people will be perfectly happy with that

Oh and slow clap to the smokers who "would have given it up anyway but actually I couldnt smoke due to vomiting". So in other words you didn't give it up any more than I gave up water in my pregnancy. I just couldn't keep it down.

Can the poster who says "men and women" should be responsible for stopping women explain how they would like men to enforce that?

I'm not a smoker and I was never asked to do a puff test but I'd have happily told them to fuck off if they'd done so.

I gave up pretty much everything but Salad for a period in my first pregnancy. Couldn't face anything else. Oh to have that again :)

Oh I hope it didn't come from a bag Stealth, I think some posters might call social services if so

The advice was different in them days ;) though actually I think it was predominantly celery

I smoked 20-40 a day. When I found out I was pregnant over the phone with the doctor, I was actually smoking at the time. I stubbed out the cigarette telling myself it would be my last.

Next day I went to work, went for a cigarette break as normal, and this went on for a few days. Then I thought...what am I doing? I quit then. I also BF for a year and didn't smoke then either.

TBH I found it easier to quit for DS than for me. Unfortunately as soon as I stopped BF, I started smoking immediately. Only 5 a day. But it still took me another 4 years to quit properly. Haven't smoked for 9 years.

My friend smoked through pregnancy. She cut down, but just couldn't quit. I really wanted her too, but I never judged her for it.

It's not as black and white as you think, and not everyone is the same.

Also, I had to do the puff test with dc3, even though I said I didn't smoke, to check I was telling the truth

Also, I had to do the puff test with dc3, even though I said I didn't smoke, to check I was telling the truth

Why did you do it? They can't make you, it's hugely offensive to call you a liar and make you prove something you're legally allowed to do anyway

Pregnant women have access to all the facts regarding smoking during pregnancy. If the still choose to smoke then that's there choice. They have obviously chosen to accept the risks. I won't judge them for making a different choice.

Why did you do it? They can't make you This is worth repeating. I'm always hearing, "I had to have a test" or "they will induce me". Your body belongs to you and they can't make you do anything. INFORMED CONSENT.

Because sometimes all the time I just do as I'm told. When in fact I could have said no and only just realised this now ..Stupid really.

I am getting more assertive though too late now, had my 3 and am done

@gluteustothemaximus just start small. When the cashier asks for your postcode or something. "No" with a lovely smile. Then work up to healthcare professionals.

God, I do that too. Do I not have to give my postcode? (Sorry to derail!!)

I am much better standing up for my children.

I will start small, thank you...and work my way up

You don't have to do anything! Well within reason!

U2

It's very black and white
So for women that cant give up its 'you failed and you are a failed cunt of a parent'

The best thing is to give up forever we know that

But if you can't we need to understand risks

1 a day does this
5 a day could cause this
30 a day does this

No one says 'OK so you can't quit how about massively cutting down'

It's not desirable overall But surely a cut is better that nothing

Because sometimes all the time I just do as I'm told. When in fact I could have said no and only just realised this now ..Stupid really.

Well what if I tell you to start standing up for yourself?

It is difficult, I used to be similar. I've become a bit of an arse in old age though!

For the same reason they say absolutely zero alcohol U2. Women are too stupid to make an informed choice, best to take the choice away from them.

Those that see it is wrong I would imagine quit before TTC.

Except not everyone TTC and a lot of addicts believe they can quit when they have something to quit for and it turns out it wasn't quite as easy as they thought.

Do you really think pregnant smokers don't think they are wrong? I don't know one pregnant smoker who didn't at least cut down substantially.

It makes me laugh that fucky feels sorry for my child. Like his life has been ruined by the first 9 months of his life (well conception). Poor kid having a selfish cunt of a mother. I must have ruined his life. What happened in the 16 years since doesn't matter

Like I said. I have made my peace with it and as my teen son is thriving and happy it's all good, but the one thing that makes me angry is people who are so closed minded they can't look past their own noses and experiences to give someone else's experience consideration and they are actually proud of that.

Thanks to those who understood or at least didn't call me a cunt

If smoking is that easy to quit why do we still have people smoking? Most know it can kill.