To think some people are just shallow?!

[Whattheactualfu]

Name changed. Please be kind! I'm a little offended...

So I tried online dating. Got chatting to this guy. He asks me what I do for a living so I told him.
I also mentioned how I'm on long term sick leave as I dislocated my knee at work. I'm off for 6 months due to some damage it has caused and intense physio etc. Hopefully will be back sooner than that.

This was the response after he went quiet and I lightheartedly asked if that had put him off;

When a man asks what you do for a job he is looking for an answer to the question, such as "Lawyer", "Care Worker". or "Brian Surgeon". You talked about "Physical health issues" which sounds rather mysterious, and said you loved your job.

He probably thought that if you couldn't give a straight forward answer to that basic question, you'd be a nightmare to get any other answer out of.

Meetup is an online site for all sorts of real life social activities. It's about meeting people to do activities you like.
Or just get out and make friends in your area. You need time to heal from the abusive relationship, or it's very easy to make other poor relationship decisions (speaking from experience).

Brian Surgeon I only operate on Brians!

Do you think you are subconsciously answering in a way that you don't want to prolong the conversations? Being extra careful, which is understandable...maybe a a more direct/instant chat app would be better to ease yourself in...you would know straight away from the response if the person was someone you want to get to know?

Have fun with it and don't take the random rudeness to heart :) Good luck with it and great that you are trying to dip your toe in

huh ??????????????????????????????

Sorry OP but your reply would put me off a bit too. Don't be disheartened, see this as good practise! You're not going to meet Mr Right the very first time you had to someone so take your time to gain experience and confidence in this.

Ps. Equally his lack of punctuation and inability to read the profile (and therefore your job info) correctly would put me off him!

As nicely as possible - if you're still feeling this fragile after your abuse, I don't think it's the right time to start dating again.

I'd build up your confidence, hobbies, and boundaries first. This is because when you are still super vulnerable it's like a bloody claxon call for charming abusive types.

Once you have begun to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence then you're in a great position to meet someone new.

You must have a lot about you to do responsible jobs like piloting and dispatching aircraft. Your confidence sounds to be low but as your knee heals it may build up again, I hope so.

Tiggy and Gemini, the OP did tell him her job, she just didn't tell us in her opening post!

I agree with TheSockGoblin, "Once you have begun to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence then you're in a great position to meet someone new."

I've looked at the conversation in the picture and she didn't tell him Italian. She did in her profile, not in her conversation.

I would rule him out for terrible English, and not reading the profile.

Fair enough. You stated your position. He was no longer interested. Great!! Move on.. He is not the right right guy for you.

Bless, you didn't answer his question! You should've stated your job and maybe said you're currently off with a knee injury or something.

Your response could be taken as either ill/disabled or on benefits and keeping hush.

However, the way he asked the question says he sucks anyway

Whattheactualfu Aircraft?, Medical?, 1st Officer or Captain???

If so sounds very interesting:-)

I'd be put off by that in a casual online dating scenario.

The way you've worded your answer would make me think you had some very big, long-term medical issues. Not a busted knee. I don't really think it's shallow that a virtual stranger would lose interest at that. It's one thing to stay in a relationship with someone who's ill, it's a whole different thing to begin dating someone knowing that. And I say that as someone with some very big, long-term medical issues.

All the guy asked was your job. All you had to answer with was your job. To go further than that when you've obviously just started chatting makes it seem like you have this huge issue you need to get out of the way early.

Foresuit I do have Multiple Sclerosis and CFS

Only recently discovered

I didn't intentionally complicate the answer I just wasn't paying attention fully at the time.

I've asked MNHQ to end this thread as I think I have my answer now.

Thanks to those of you that have been supportive x

Firesuit But thanks for telling me that you would be 'put off' by discovering someone had MS or CFS. 👍🏻

TiggyD I don't think what she posted is the extent of their conversation.

Good luck, OP, start slow, build up. All the best.

Thanks xx

Good luck whatthe I too have MS and know how challenging that can be.
I think you need to concentrate on yourself right now. Be kind to yourself.
Pm me if you want to chat xx