Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to throw his presents out the window?

67 replies

Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 21:36

It's my dh birthday tomorrow, he's just got into the mother of all strops and I have no idea why. He seemed a bit moody thought he was having a bad day so just left it.. asked him what's wrong a few times he's replied, nothing!
He is insisting I am the one in the mood and I am at a loss for words why. He's storming about and said he wouldn't think of anyone worse to spend his birthday with tomorrow. ..

How lovely.

In two minds whether I should just throw his presents out the window. He's being a grade a dick!

OP posts:
TheNewMrsTomHardy · 17/07/2017 21:37

Maybe just ignore and go to bed.
If he's still like it in the morning, then you can throw them out of the window.

Italiangreyhound · 17/07/2017 21:40

Start tomorrow afresh.

If he is in a mood tomorrow, so be it, it's his own birthday he will ruin.

Being in a bad mood and not telling you why is bang out of order.

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 21:47

He insists he is annoyed because I am in a mood (?) I genuinely am not and didnt think I was giving off vibes to say that, I have said this to him many times.
He says I have now flipped it by saying he is being the grumpy one...

God I hate arguing it's so confusing?!? Like accept am not in a mood and move on. I'm not flipping it or manipulating it

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 17/07/2017 21:47

How tiresome, does he often throw tantrums?

BuffyFan · 17/07/2017 21:50

It's not a "big" birthday by any chance is it?

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 21:51

He has been known to Yeah. I mostly just try to diffuse them now or ignore until he chills out.

Why does he have to be sooo dramatic too like I'm all for being grumpy every now and then but why the big nasty statements ?! It's hard not to take them to heart

OP posts:
Rhubarbtart9 · 17/07/2017 21:53

Stop talking and just give him space

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 21:53

Nope not a big birthday, we don't have much plans he even said he doesn't want any presents.

I got him a few, thought of a good one two days ago so ordered it on amazon prime. It came today. So he's now having a go that it's a last minute present

One of his big grumpy statements is now "I don't want your half arsed last minute presents "

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 17/07/2017 21:53

Exhausting way to live, I know only too well.
My 50 year old toddler was the same. I left him recently and it's bliss.

teaandtoast · 17/07/2017 21:53

I wonder if he's got something he wants to go to tomorrow and he needs to be able to strop off and do it?

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 21:54

Im hiding out in the bedroom and he's watching TV now, I tend to just try to give him space as much as possible or he'll just get worked up and the comments become meaner and things could escalate ( not violent or anything but just too much )

OP posts:
GetKnitted · 17/07/2017 21:56

Don't throw the presents out of the window... you'd just be justifying what he's said so far... nothing to stop you putting them on ebay though Grin

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 21:58

I don't think he's got anything he wants to do tomorrow. I've said ( pre toddler tantrum )we'll do anything he fancies tomorrow. I'm cooking his favourite meal and that's all the plans he made with me, we were just going to take it easy maybe go to the beach or a walk or whatever.

When he said he doesn't want to spend his birthday I said okay go do something else then. He huffed back "well it's too late now isn't it" I said "no you could get something arranged" and he said something like "I will or I might" ... I know fine well he won't. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 22:00

I find it so hard to stay levelled when he's being so annoying like this. It's like when people tell you to calm down... and you're like "well I was but not anymore!"

When we first got together I didn't realise the trick of just not entertaining these tantrums and they'd turn into huge arguments, me walking away and not speaking much ( and trying not scream ) is my way of just diffusing them. It takes a lot.

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 17/07/2017 22:03

Ignore him, I'm very familiar with this behaviour (and got rid) it's him, not you.
He knows you'll be fretting now, it's really an awful way to live

kali110 · 17/07/2017 22:03

Why are you with him? It sounds exhausting.

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 22:04

Hes come into the bedroom and started tidying up. He's not very subtle... He'll apologise any minute now Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 22:08

With regard to why I am with him, this is his only downside. I have no clue why he does it, he ends up coming to apologise anyway so I just don't know why he bothers. I've told him he needs to work on communication and these strops but it's a work in progress imo.

He can find a way ( blaming me for some tiny thing ) to justify them and massive strop, mean statements then calms down. Dunno if its his way of letting out frustration or what..

If I could change one thing about him it would definitely be this

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 17/07/2017 22:15

It's a massive thing, don't underestimate it. I did and it's damaging.
Walking on eggshells and trying to predict moods, awful.
Never again for me thanks god

Flopjustwantscoffee · 17/07/2017 22:20

Ooooh mine did that, would try to pick arguemento with me and if I didn't rise would suddenly start storming around accusing me of being in a mood. Twattymctwatface .Don't have anything constructive to add sorry

kali110 · 17/07/2017 22:21

Its a huge thing op.
Re-read your posts.
Living on egg shells is no way to live.
Why be with someone who says mean things to you?

indigox · 17/07/2017 22:23

Fuck living like that.

Original poster
Wellthengreat · 17/07/2017 22:27

Hes done his apology "sorry I was a dick I don't want to be falling out with you really."
I just went oh right okay.
He's brought me a cup of tea and is now cleaning the bathroom. I am not impressed.

It's weird because I don't feel I am on eggshells it's more of a just a thing of "why is he being a stroppy prick all of a sudden" then I ignore him and I move on.
It's like he is overly defensive or something.

I've just told him that his behaviour is bizarre.

OP posts:
thereallochnessmonster · 17/07/2017 22:27

Fuck it, life's too short for that sort of shit. Go out tomorrow and leave him to stew on his bday by himself.

No way would I be spending time with someone who said said 'he couldn't think of anyone worse to spend his birthday with tomorrow'.

Ebay his presents too.

Then dump his sorry arse.

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/07/2017 22:29

Well I certainly wouldnt be giving him a present and when he asks why tell him that he said he didnt want it so you sent it back.

Fucking child.

Oh and it not being a big birthday doesnt mean that it isnt connected. I got really quite upset about turning 44 this year. I am menopausal which feels very early and although I wouldnt have another child, having that option taken away and getting another year older was all just too much.

But I didnt sulk, I didnt pick fights, I just felt sorry for myself for a while.