To complain about my G.P.?

[growinglavender]

Would I be unreasonable to put in a complaint?

I have gained five stone over the last two years, going from a healthy 10 stone to just over 15. I look shocking and it's had a hugely detrimental impact on me.

I went to the G.P. when I was at breaking point with everything and I made it clear my weight gain was very upsetting for me.

She prescribed medication (anti depressants) which is apparently also prescribed for people and animals to GAIN weight!

I am wondering if I should put a complaint in, but I don't know how and would I be the surgery equivalent of "that parent" at school?

This is so much bigger than being prescribed an anti-depressant known for weight gain. You sound in a really bad place. :( I think your first step needs to go back to see another GP and explain and get some more intensive support. Can you take someone with you or can you write it down? It might be worth asking reception at your surgery if there is a GP who has a special interest in mental health.

B-eat is a really great organisation and they do very much recognise and acknowledge people with eating issues, whatever you want to name it or not. Their support groups are great, as is their helpline.

If you just want to talk to another human being, my PM box is open and I am happy to be a listening ear.

OP This is from B-eat website.

Binge Eating Disorder

What is binge eating disorder?

Binge eating disorder (BED) is a serious mental illness where people experience a loss of control and overeat on a regular basis.

People who binge eat consume very large quantities of food over a short period of time (called bingeing) and they often eat even when they are not hungry. It is not about eating extra large portions.
Binges are usually planned like a ritual and can involve the person buying "special" binge foods. Binge eating usually takes place in private. People will often have feelings of guilt, disgust at their lack of control after binge eating. Unlike those with bulimia, people who binge eat do not purge themselves in an attempt to control their weight.

Binge eating episodes are associated with eating much more rapidly than normal, eating until feeling uncomfortably full, eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry, eating alone through embarrassment at the amount being eaten and feeling disgust or extreme guilt after overeating. BED is associated with marked distress and if someone binges at least once a week over a period of three months or more, they could have binge eating disorder.

People may also have low self esteem and lack of confidence, depression and anxiety. Many people with binge eating disorder are overweight or obese which can lead to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes and heart disease.

Binge eating affects men and women equally and the condition tends to be more common in adults than in younger people.

Obesity is not an eating disorder but some people often become overweight because of emotional difficulties and being overweight can lead to emotional difficulties. Low self esteem, feeling guilty or ashamed and socially isolated can all be part of the picture. The relationship between weight, size and health is a complex one.

**

You can call them for a chat. You can also access free and low cost counselling via your GP and CBT on the NHS.

I'm sorry but you are clearly in a bad place, and not accepting the condition you have is not helping you.

Help is out there but you have to see it was part of the whole problem (your weight and depression) not separate issues.

Polly, I know what it is (meant nicely, not rudely) and as I've said, I don't think counselling is for me. I have tried it before on more than one occasion - it doesn't work for me.

Thanks Sunny, I think going to the G.P. is a bit pointless really and unfair, it's for ill people and I'm not ill. Fat, not ill!

If counselling hasn't worked for you (yet) it doesn't mean it never would. Maybe you had crap counsellors. maybe you aren't receptive. Counselling is about being honest, opening up and most of all, learning why we behave as we do and how we can change.

From what you have posted, it looks as if you don't want to change, you simply want to whinge, and want to lash out at a GP who 'got it wrong' IYO.

Do you want to change or do you want to moan?

To increase your total body weight by 50% in such a short period of time says there is something very wrong and you need to work out what it is and fix it.

Talking about it is the answer, not popping pills.

growing you are in denial. Binge eating or overeating so much that you put on 5 stone FFS is an illness! It is not normal behaviour.

If you think you are not ill, then it ought to be easy to get your weight down.

Log into My Fitness Pal, ditch the junk food, eat protein and good fats, reduce carbs, exercise and you will lose weight and sleep better.

It's not rocket science but you need willpower.

If you think this is impossible, then I too will say kindly that you need professional help as it's a MH issue.

I've been a GP for 15 years, I prescribe a lot of anti depressants. I have never known anyone gain significant amounts of weight on them. Not worth a complaint.

I'm afraid you are angry at yourself and you are taking it out on the GP. You are also in denial. You binge eat, which is an eating disorder, and you are depressed which is a mental health issue.

Anti depressants can cause weight gain, but they don't cause it by magic, they cause it by increased appetite. It doesn't happen to everyone. Many depressed people don't eat enough, and gain weight on anti depressants because they are eating better.

In your case your depression is causing you to binge eat. Give the anti depressants a chance to see if they help you feel better, because if you feel better then you will eat better and loose weight not gain it.

Helping your insomnia will also help your weight loss. Insomnia and weight gain often happen together.

You may also find you can increase your exercise when the tablets kick in. This will help you feel better and loose weight.

Counselling will help you understand why you are like this. But you don't want to face up to it at the moment, so you refuse to go and blame the doctor. Understandable, but not helpful.

Stop being so hard on yourself, you are a person, not a number on the scales. It will be nice when you loose weight, but it's not the be all and end all, go to see the counselling people, go back to your GP, or the nurse if you really can't see the GP, and give the anti ds a chance. Stop fighting the people trying to help you, and fight the depression and the eating disorder instead.

and sorry for the blunt approach-tough love.

you are ill

you have an eating disorder - or disordered eating at the very least

You do sound depressed

Your overreaction to small problems in treatment is EXACTLY ME when I'm bad. I have anxiety mainly, I have had problems with eating

you are NOT lazy or stupid or needing dieting tips. You are unwell and you need medical help

You don't get prescribed mirtazapine for a lark! They would not give it to you if they didn't feel your mental health was more important than your weight

Hopefully soon you will feel better and be able to lose weight in a healthy way

I got to that point! I am there now. I can diet and exercise now. Normally! Not that I'm great at it, but I finally can

Mirtazapine gave me a hunger you cannot believe. I think it has also been shown to cause weight gain in controlled circumstances too. It's powerful stuff. And that COULD be a reason not to take it, but it's NOT a reason to not go back. You ARE ill. I can tell from your posts! Your gp and nurse could tell from talking to you.

Ignore people saying you're not ill. You could ignore me if you want - but for fuck's sake don't ignore your doctor

Do you know how willing they are to fob off fat women? If that's what they were doing you'd know, and they'd not have prescribed you anything

Your anxiety about these tablets is indicative of problems by itself I swear. This is unhealthy behaviour - you have a mental health problem

As your mental health problem has caused your weight, it makes sense to treat it first. No matter what people say, being fat isn't like bleeding to death or something. And your gp who you yourself feel hasn't paid enough attention and has written you off thinks that too! They know mirtazapine causes weight gain - they don't need you to tell them that, or idiots who know nothing about medicine to debate it here - and they know you are fat. AND THEY PRESCRIBED YOU IT

you really really need to go back. You are really obviously unwell but you can't see it, or don't want to see it

People recommending diet tips - IRRELEVANT - you need to get your head straight first. And then, it will be easier, I swear! It happened to me and I didn't expect it and I wouldn't have believed it but it's true

summary: go back to the fucking doctor, please

haha I should have waited... Notevilstepmother says it a lot better than me. Please listen to her!

Polly I said I knew what it was not that I didn't have it! In any event, I don't want to piss people off, and I am. But seriously, when you've tried ADs, counselling ... there comes a point where you just say, well, hey, here I am, a fat piece of shit, sorry about that but it is what it is and I am what I am.

I really don't think the doctor was trying to help but rather was trying to get me out of her surgery.

growinglavender
"Thanks Sunny, I think going to the G.P. is a bit pointless really and unfair, it's for ill people and I'm not ill. Fat, not ill!"

Growinglavender, even if you do not accept that you have an eating disorder, being 5 stone overweight has serious & severe health risks so therefore is at the very least a physically medical issue and I say this gently as its clear from your posts you are in a very low place. Please do not take it as a criticism.

I do appreciate (as per your previous reply to me ) that reading about Binge Eating Disorder etc can actually make the problem worse and placing any sort of restriction on your diet can cause the binging to spiral, in fact many people with B.E.D began when trying to restrict themselves.

I appreciate the thread has moved on from your initial post and you have said you are not going to complain.

It is also true that counselling does not work for everyone and people have recovered from Binge Eating Disorder without counselling.
Sometimes when you are feeling low, you want help but part of the illness is pushing everyone away and feeling like you cannot be helped.

For all those critisicing the op , please appreciate that when someone is unwell, giving them a hard time because they wont follow the advice you have given is both unfair and shows ignorance of how to actually help. When someone is already low, they dont need kicked down further because they dont immediately leap up and say they are going to access help. I cant help but think if the op had posted about a different eating disorder ie anorexia people would not be so quick to pour judgment on her because she hasnt come around to your way of thinking and solved binge eating (serious mental illness) in a couple hours. Just because tough love or counselling worked for other people does not mean it will work for the OP .Kindness goes a long way especially when someone is feeling low.

OP, recovery is a journey and whilst you may not think it, you are actually already on it, going to your gp albeit not primarily for the binge eating is a step, this thread and all you have read is a step.

If you are finding peoples replies hurtful and triggering then step away for a little while, or copy and paste the replies to keep that you find helpful and do not return to the others.

You are not unfixable and you can recover, you are unwell and cannot see it at the moment and feel despair and that nothing will work. Try to be kind to yourself.

Thanks, Stray I do appreciate your help. I did actually call that B-EAT number before but their advice was to tell me to go to the doctor so it's just all cyclical and circular.

I think there are any number of conditions that can't be cured, only managed. I think I have got myself into that situation really. But it would have been nice if the doctor had listened. Complaining is pointless. But I wish they'd listened.

I haven't read all this thread, but as an expert on anti depressants it sounds like you are on mirtazapine or maybe paroxetine? I gained 3 stone on mirt. Despite having iron will power l just couldn't help stuffing my face.

Prozac and sertraline were the same. Gained loads and then lost it when l came off. It would appear that l am ultra sensitive to the appetite effect of antidepressants.

I think logepramine is the only one that doesn't seem to increase appetite

I haven't noticed my appetite increase really, but it seems weight gain is a side effect anyway. I don't know. It all feels quite bleak and hopeless.

GPs are very busy but it is frustrating not to feel listened to. I suggest making an appointment (maybe with different GP in the practice) and discussing your concerns. ie binge eating and weight gain is a major problem for you and you are concerned that the AD prescribed is making it worse. Then ask if you can try a different AD (if you want to). Re: counselling, a lot depends on rapport with the counsellor, may be worth trying again?

growinglavender
"Thanks, Stray I do appreciate your help. I did actually call that B-EAT number before but their advice was to tell me to go to the doctor so it's just all cyclical and circular."

Im glad you phoned, its another step and another sign that you want to get better, not so glad you didnt find it helpful and I can see why, but try not to let it get you down, the journey to recovery is not always linear and can have several ups and downs.
Please understand that part of the illness is that you feel brought down and defeated and that there is no point even trying. That is the illness talking because it wants to make you feel low and cause you to binge.

If you do want to go back to gp you could try a different gp, or go again with someone to speak up for you if you feel you cannot speak up yourself. You could also write down what you want from the appointment (ie a discussion about alternative anti depressants and or a referral for formal diagnosis of B.E.D ) and your reasons why so that you dont get upset or forget in the moment.

As you have previously said listening to peoples success stories re binging recovery actually triggers you and makes you worse, you could instead try and approach from a different angle and that is trying to improve your feelings of self worth and improve self acceptance.

Now dont get me wrong , I want to make it clear that I know that you do not want to be the weight you are and dont want to accept it, but learning to love yourself does not mean you stay the weight you are, it can actually set you free in some ways to assist in recovery as, part of the binge eating disorder is making you feel so low about yourself that binging is the only thing that brings comfort/relief.

So if you look at it as, feeling better about yourself is breaking a link in the chain that is causing you to binge. The illness that is binge eating is always trying to find ways to make you binge and negative self image and thoughts is one of the ways it does it.

There is lots of online free help about improving your self worth and self esteem specifically in relation to body image from people such as Summer Innanen , as well as website with information she also has free radio podcasts you can listen on youtube and is on fb & instagram.

Again I want to stress that learning to love yourself as you are does not mean staying the weight you are, its one route you can take to recovery if other ways are not working for you.
Just be very aware that the illness will try to stop you from doing it because it has disordered your thinking , so it will make you horrified that you could even love yourself the way you are and fearful of loving yourself the way you are in case you stay overweight.
Please know again, this is the illness and not the truth.

Be kind and compassionate to yourself. There is always hope.

Thanks Stray I don't consider myself to have an ED. I feel I am greedy and disgusting.

I don't think there is help available even if I was unwell which I don't think I am - lacking self control isn't an illness.

That being said, my mood has been extremely low of late and so has my temper and general approach to things. I keep losing my temper with myself and have on a few occasions really whacked myself across the face whilst hurling verbal abuse at myself bizarrely. It sounds bad and probably is bad but it also helps. I always feel calmer when I've beaten myself up!

I just need self control. Obviously I used to have it so there's no excuse for walking around like this.

Hi OP. I just wanted to say that Mirtezepine - although sometimes causing an increase in appetite is probably the best antidepressant for someone who isn't sleeping - Lack of sleep makes everything much worse. Also, as has already been said, nearly all antidepressants can increase your appetite and cause weight gain. Someone mentioned fluoxetine, but this tends to make insomnia worse, rather than better.

How do you feel about exercise? You could ask your GP for a referral to the National exercise referral scheme. this may help with your mood and with your weight gain.

I think you are unwell - you're having problems with your mood and with your sleep - these two things will always make binge eating worse and the thoughts you get about taking all of the tablets in one go are worrying as well.

Best of luck to you

Thanks velocity I guess it was best fit then?

I think I've always been cautious about ADs due to weight gain

Growing Lavender, I think you have got yourself into a mindset that your mental health problems can't be cured, and perhaps you can only manage them. I used to think that too. I was a binge eater too. I was 15 stone when I was at my heaviest, and I thought I would never get over my depression. I was suicidal and was almost sectioned at one point. But it is possible to get over it and you will too. I am now a healthy weight, and lead a happy life.

From what you write, I think you have some negative thoughts about yourself (that's not a criticism of you as a person). I did as well, and CBT was really helpful, much more than antidepressants. It taught me techniques to relax and change negative thoughts into more positive ones. You might be able to self refer if you look for depression and anxiety services in your area, or you might have to go though your GP (maybe a different one - it is important to find one you trust). I also go for a walk before bed if I can't sleep. Good exercise and makes me tired!

I didn't take it even remotely as criticism of me as a person but with that being said I think this is something that has to come from me - not medication or counselling - me. After all, I'm the one with the key not anyone else I guess.

Op, i dont get on with counselling either.
You do sound depressed, your b/e is likely to be part of it.
Mirtzapine is one of the best drugs to treat depression and anxiety.
Your gp is thinking of you, they clearly are trying to think of your best interests.
You need to sort your m/h out, you need sleep.
I found oncei'd been on them for a while i stopped feeling the need to eat.
The second time, i didnt have problems.
I also have cycles of binge eating.
This drug was the best to treat my mood also at the time.

I have this weight gain thing too, they told me to 'eat smart' on it but little else

There are others which don't as much (e.g. prozac)

in the meantime, I asked my GP and sent hm the NICE guidelines about yearly tests for things like blood pressure / weight blood sugars etc which he will do. I probably sounded a bit complainy too. Bit they are going to do it.

It is really hard if the meds work, I feel for you