To complain about my G.P.?

[growinglavender]

Would I be unreasonable to put in a complaint?

I have gained five stone over the last two years, going from a healthy 10 stone to just over 15. I look shocking and it's had a hugely detrimental impact on me.

I went to the G.P. when I was at breaking point with everything and I made it clear my weight gain was very upsetting for me.

She prescribed medication (anti depressants) which is apparently also prescribed for people and animals to GAIN weight!

I am wondering if I should put a complaint in, but I don't know how and would I be the surgery equivalent of "that parent" at school?

Have you read Brain Over Binge?

I think so. I went through a stage of thinking I could be "cured" and I read most of the books then. The advice in them is fine and they are interesting but I can't seem to apply any of it to my own life.

Blue I have already acknowledged I won't complain, I won't even go back!

I would not complain but rather go and have a discussion. Mirtazapine is generally not a good choice of antidepressant for someone with a weight problem. There are others that could be tried.

Apologies for the length of this....

Doctors and nurses are notoriously ignorant of Binge Eating Disorder.
(Its not necessarily their fault , they have so much to remember and its only in recent years that the seriousness of it has been realised)

OP = you say you have tried and failed to stop binge eating, please understand that it is a poorly understood severe mental illness and know that you are neither alone nor at fault. Blaming yourself for not stopping binging is like an anorexic blaming themself for not being able to eat.

Binge eating disorder IS a classified eating disorder alongside anorexia, bulimia and non specified eating disorder.

It is just as serious and like the other eating disorders puts your health and life at serious risk ( I say this not so much for the op but for anyone reading that may think that it is not a serious life threatening disorder,)

For those with Binge eating disorder there is not as much help out there as for other eating disorders (and there is not much help for them either) and very sadly to a certain extent, unless you can find a sympathetic practitioner you have to self advocate in order to find help.
The reason I say that is that before complaining, I would return to gp and have your reasons written down so that you can discuss things calmly as to a certain extent you want to be able to work with gp.
If that doesnt work then you can then explore other avenues. Either that or if possible see another gp. You may want to push for an official diagnosis in order to access help. I understand that this is not ideal but it is sadly the case for many things in the uk that you have fight to get the resources and help that you need.

I do not think you are being unreasonable to want a different drug that is less likely to cause weight gain. I think your fears are justified.

ETA
Ive just read on before posting and have noticed you have written you do not think you have an eating disorder. Op whilst none of us online can diagnose, you yourself have stated you have binge eaten enough to put on 5 stone, its affecting you mentally and physically and you also used to purge after eating.

I would advise you as others have to visit

www.b-eat.co.uk/about-eating-disorders/types-of-eating-disorder/binge-eating-disorder
(they also have a helpline you can call ^^)

There are also some long running threads on mumsnet about binge eating in the health/eating disorder section.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/2652882-Binge-Eating-Disorder-Support-4

Please seek help op and do not try to struggle on alone. If the gp isnt helping, change them, find support groups, online forums, there are multiple youtube videos of peoples own stories of dealing with it, educate yourself on the different view on treatment for binge eating and find what best suits you.

There are different views on how to treat binge eating disorder, ie for example those that say that you need counselling and anti depressants to solve the root cause and those that say you do not , ie that it is a severe habit that has developed as a coping mechanism and the root causes do not have to be solved .

There is much better access to services in America and there have also been success in america treating it with medication ie Topomax & Vyvanse although i do not know if they are licensed to be used in the UK.

Thanks, stray I think I have always known it's something I have to live with. If I could manage it to the point where I might stay the same weight I can do that but somehow things got out of control.

I am repulsive!

Just wanted to say that I feel for you - also in a position where was depressed and gained weight by bingeing in the evenings. However, depression made me feel like I DESERVED to feel rubbish about myself and look rubbish. Only way forward was AD's until mood stabilised and then I was able to be positive enough to try weight loss. I had to try different AD's till I found one that worked, and just like you I didn't get on with SW. HOWEVER, mood is now ok, I'm off the AD's and have lost 9lb, got another 2.5stone to go but it is decreasing and I can now see the positives in that. PLEASE go to see your GP (or a different GP at your surgery) and get the AD's sorted. Honestly, the mood is the first step to help control the insomnia/bingeing

It's not going to be an easy climb but you can do it. All antidepressants pretty much have weight gain as a side effect. Try not to see it as a given that you'll suffer from this side effect, you will however need to be aware of your own body signals. If you find you're feeling much hungrier than usual is normally an indicator of that side effect.

You won't feel any real help from it without taking it regularly for at least a month. However if the side effect appears before that go back explain and get it changed.

Tackle your mood before anything else as this is the root of everything you are struggling with.

I apologise if I offended earlier.

I think I have accepted that however easy or difficult it is, the G.P. is not going to be any form of support to me.

Sometimes I feel like giving up but a tiny part of me must still be fighting. As I won't lie I did nearly take all the mirtazepine in one shot. But I didn't. And I didn't for a reason I guess.

But I am very very weak.

I can't see what else the GP could have done if all AD's cause a craving for carbs. If she hadn't have given you anything that would have been wrong surely.
GPs are limited in what they can and can't do. You refused counselling so you are tying her hands a bit. Wait until the blood results are in and see if there is a physical or organic problem perhaps?

Please don't feel the GP can't help you - okay, this particular drug might not be for you, and an important thing affecting how well any psych medication works is how you feel about it, but the GP is an important part of the support team that can help you, whether that includes an IAPT therapist, other people in the same situation, the practice nurse, a weight loss group, or a trainer at a gym. You're helpable

mirtazapine Yes can make SOME people gain weight ( i didn't the second time) it is a great medication for people with anxiety and depression, especially for people who are also struggling with insomnia!
Not everyone will gain weight on this pill.
Your gp has prescribed this because it's the best for for you.
You can't take sleeping pills every night.
This will help with your sleepless nights and mental health.

Gel I think you're absolutely right and I'll cancel my next appointment. The problem is I think I do need help - just don't know what to do really.

OP Binge eating IS an eating disorder. Have a google on it and go to the support site BEAT and you will find information.

OP Why not go back to your GP, explain your worries and ask if it's possible to go onto a different anti depressant. I am pretty sure that Fluoxetine/Prozac is indicated for binge eating? That would be more helpful/less stressful for you than complaining at this stage.

www.drugs.com/comments/fluoxetine/for-bulimia.html

Got to dash now Op but honestly, you need to access the MH /Eating disorder organisations.

Yes, of course it is but like other EDs there is very little help available and it is probably the one with the least help and indeed sympathy available.

Reading your messages is frustrating as you clearly do have a problem and you need the help of your GP, however you seem to be getting 'weighed down' (no pun intended, sorry) with the details rather than seeing the bigger picture. This is no means meant as an insult. Your own frustration at the situation is clear and reasonable and you are obviously desperate for a way out of this vicious cycle.

First, I would like to say that nobody is immune from making mistakes and if you are reallly concerned about the mirtazepine, to the point where you are not going to take it - go back and see your GP and discuss your concerns. He/she will have your best interests at heart. Lots of psychological issues (and I say that because there is clearly a psychological component to feeling down, binge eating and insomnia) require more than one appointment and that is completely fine. Please go and see your GP again and let them know what you've told us!

Secondly, I would really give some thought to whether counselling would be beneficial for you. Why not promise yourself to go to one session and take it from there? That way you're giving yourself every opportunity to really get on top of this. Perhaps look up mindfulness online. There are lots of online courses and they're really good! (I promise - i've been in your shoes completely)

Hopefully the ssris will give you a bit of thinking space to stop feeling wretched and focus on working on the binge eating.

I've been steadily losing weight and am on citalopram. Actually, my lowest weights tend to be when I'm on ssris.

Please do not give up GrowingLavender, there is also lots of good advice been given but several posts in this thread from people are judgmental and show complete ignorance of Binge Eating disorder and as such are not giving the best advice and making you feel worse (albeit whilst trying to help).

Please look at the link I posted earlier to the long running binge eating threads in mumsnet, lots of good advice and support from women who are going through the same thing. (posted it again so you dont have to search for it)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/2652882-Binge-Eating-Disorder-Support-4

There are people who can help you , as I said earlier and as you have found out GPs are not always the best unfortunately and you may have to find other avenues. That doesnt mean that you shouldnt see gp, just maybe change gps, there is no reason to keep seeing a gp that you feel is not helping you. When you already feel low and its taken alot of courage to speak to the gp about your weight and they give you something that can make your weight worse (even though it might not) it is soul destroying and can cause despair that makes you want to lash out.
You can and have the right to push your gp to refer you for an official diagnosis of binge eating disorder to help you in accessing nhs help.

www.b-eat.co.uk/about-eating-disorders/help-and-treatment
(scroll down to the binge eating part ^^)

There are also private facebook groups you can join for support if you type binge eating disorder in your fb search bar, although they are not usually run by experts and i would check any advice give (as I would say about any advice given on internet include all that I have written)

What I also forgot to mention earlier is there are online coaches and or counsellors who you can speak to via skype/telephone who can assist with binge eating you have to pay but it is an investment in your life (obvs make sure it is reputable with good track record and specliases in binge eating/bulimia) Ie Lydia Wente, Kathryn Hansen.
There are also online coaches who can assist in terms of what you eat to minimise binging ie one of the views is that there is a nutritional aspect to it. Daniel Wheeler at Life Changing Fitness has a brilliant series of talks and online coaching. All the people Ive mentioned have had binge eating disorder and recovered. You can watch some of their videos on youtube. And as I mentioned earlier there are lots of inspirational testimonials on youtube from people who have recovered. just type binge eating in the youtube search bar.

There will also likely be local qualified counselors in your area who speciliase in eating disorders, again you will have to pay but it is an investment into your health.

You are not alone and although it may feel like it, you are not beyond help.

(apologies for spelling errors, been on nights)

My understanding is that anti depressants don't actually cause weight gain, but that they can cause an increase in appetite. The patient would still need to put away an excess of food in order to gain weight. I put on a huge amount of weight the first time I was on Mirtazapine. The second time, some years later, I was determined not to and I didn't.

Oh growinglavender I do feel for you, it is clear how low you are feeling. Can I offer an unmumsnetty hug? Apologies this will be long.

With regard to the GP, I think you have made the right decision not to officially complain as I think that will lead to more stress for you. I can see why the doctor might well prescribe an AD as they can sometimes aid weight loss by improving mood and impulse control, but she should have explained the drug to you and she should not as far as I can see have chosen one of the worst offenders for weight gain. I would try to see a different GP and discuss alternative treatment. If you do decide to go with an AD something like Prozac or low dose Citalopram might be better. You want something that helps with impulse control.

Are you off the drug now?

I have had doctors make some bad mistakes in my care (I have long term conditions) and it made me quite angry and bitter, but ultimately you have to try to move on and accept that sadly some doctors are not very good at their jobs. Hopefully you won't encounter another. I would be wary though of thinking that a doctor who listens patiently is necessarily brilliant , that is important but in most cases they also need to actually do something.

It is really hard to lose weight or care for yourself when you feel self hatred. I am sure that you are not repulsive. You might look into body positivity and many of the plus size fashion bloggers. I know you will feel resistance, and I not suggesting you embrace any idea of remaining overweight. Just that feeling a little bit better about yourself as you are will actually help you lose weight in a healthier way.

I know that mental health support on the NHS has very long waits and is not always helpful when you get there. It might be worth going on the waiting list for now anyway. You never know, you might get someone good. I wonder if any other support could help, forums or groups?

In the end you need help with challenging your thoughts and behaviour, but yes you are right that it comes down to us as individuals to push these changes through. You can do it. Things can be much better, please try to stay hopeful.

Has anything ever helped in the past? Do you live alone or with others and if with others, do they support your efforts?

Perhaps the GP got the wrong end of the stick. Perhaps she thought you wanted something for your depression rather than your weight gain?

I have been prescribed ADs which can cause weight loss - the last think I need with my ED, but the pros outweigh the cons....well that's the hope.

Beige if you feel frustrated reading the thread you have an option - don't.

Just find another thread and post on it.

I can't! So if you find it frustrating reading about me have a think about what it's like being me. Actually being a thick fat piece of shit who arses up everything.

If that 'frustrates' you walk away. I can't. I'm stuck with it.

Thanks frankensteins

Thanks stray but conversely the more I read about bingeing the more I do it. And I have no money for counselling. I do really appreciate your posts though. Same to you user I do really appreciate your help.

I have found that sometimes you just suddenly have increased strength when it comes to food intake control. It is as if subconsciously your brain is working on it and one day you manage to start. You have to have hope and belief it could happen.

I also that there is a panic and fear about not being allowed or able to eat/binge, a fear of how that will feel and a fear of failing. It might help to deeply accept that a) it may not be as bad as you fear, b) sometimes it will be very difficult but that doesn't mean you will fail, you can brace yourself and you can ride out tough times without bingeing, and c) the odd relapse is not really failure, it is part of a process of gradually getting better.

It is so important not to be too hard on yourself. So you have gained a lot of weight. I have gained and lost weight so many times over, and regained, lost, regained....I know how angry with yourself you can get. You have to be understanding of yourself though. I'm sure if you were talking to me you would show me lots of sympathy and you can do the same for yourself.

Weight and food issues aside, what are some things you could do to show yourself some care? Even if you don't feel you deserve it or can be bothered. Little things like a nice long shower or time set aside to watch a favourite programme/read, sit in park.....whatever is good for you, try to make time every day and make yourself take care.