Anyone else's Dh do this?

[IdoEverythinginthishouse]

Gave Dh a simple food shopping list to get and he's came back with a few bits of the list and loads of random crap that we never eat? My freezer is now full with it and we haven't got full ingredients for at least one meal for the week! Aibu to be pissed off?

How hard is it to do a food shop with less than 20 things on the list

My dh doesn't do the shopping much, but I find when he does it's a bit random. He won't buy some ingredients but will get something else because it's cheaper, then like the op we end up without full meals. I don't think he means to do it 'incorrectly', but as I'm the only one who generally cooks he just doesn't think.

Maybe he just wanted to try some different things? Have you fallen into a rut with the same recipes?

Reminds me of Adrian Mole where he goes to the shop with his dad and they come back with black forest gateau and "yucky cheese with seeds in it".

For Chrissakes, it's not rocket science. Unless your husband is so lacking in faculties of comprehension that he's a danger to himself and others if left to make independent decisions, this is deliberate. Send him the fuck back again and tell him to buy what is actually on the list this time.

"Going to the Supermarket with Dad" gets an enthusiastic response from the DC because he's completely open to persuasion.
Sweets, pop, snacks, books, DVDs, cute memory sticks, random items of clothing have all found their way into the trolley.
Plus a few things for himself.

But he does stick to the list and he (not so secretly) enjoys spoiling the DC.
Good cop, bad cop.

thecatsarecrazy, you can't blame everyone following you in for not having anything to eat though and you could have said no to the kids putting in the tshirts.

I sent my dad out after I had surgery for ready meals. He went to m&s, realised I hadn't lived at home for a decade and he had no idea what I ate. He literally bought one of everything including the puddings and a load of fruit I ate v well that week!

I also type it in the order it appears in the store and with photos otherwise he will get the right make and size but the wrong flavour. Sometimes even a photo of the store shelf from a previous trip needs to be included to prove it is actually there

This is a joke , right ?

Mine is very good at sticking to the list, but i have explain each item in minute detail or he'll completely misunderstand the quantities required. He has a tendancy to buy tiny quantities of fruit and veg - e.g 2 carrots or pack of 4 apples for the 4 of us for the week. We eat these daily and i buy fruit and veg by the bucket load. But if i put crisps / ice cream/ cake etc on the list, he'll buy 3 different kinds in huge quantities "just to be sure that he got the right sort". And he is terrible at looking for things. If It's not right in front of him, he'll tell me that they didn't have any so i have to go back anyway. It's easier and quicker to do it myself - happy to do that and leave him to homework policing (which he is much better at than me).

Nope mine isn't allowed to shop. The reason being he will spend hours and fucking hours going round 10 different shops driving to each one to get what he decides is the best deal, and then lecture me on wasting money. I spend £45-60 a week for 4 of us with no top ups. He spends £40 and uses half a tank of fuel

I'm just imagining a load of men wondering around Sainsbury's with reams of paper covered in detailed descriptions and photographs of common food items like bananas and bread.

In answer to your question op we have an app for shopping which we can both update. H probably does more shopping/cooking than me so just gets what he needs.

I did go into Tescos last week for something for dinner, bread and milk. Spent £65 and forgot the bread. My H always looks a bit worried if I go to Aldi by myself, so maybe I'm the incompetent one in our relationship.

My DP cooks so he just goes and buys the food he needs! If I want something extra then I text him. He has about a 90% success rate on that.
He only plans about 3 days in advance but he quite likes the supermarket so doesn't mind going fairly often. Sometimes he sends me with a list lol, but I get everything (*smug face).

The solution to this incompetence is more practice.

These men need to do a meal plan for the week, do the shopping and the cooking. After a few months of this they will have mastered the skills involved.

My ex used to do this. So much so, that we called him Jack (he of the beanstalk) "Daddy got magic beans again but there's no fucking spag for the spag bol!"

He used to pride himself on how fast he could get the shopping done as it took me a while due to buying actual stuff on the list AND I took the children with me

Stupid, stupid man. Clever me

Yes mine does, I can see funny side though as sometimes it's really really random. I'm sure there's stuff I do that really annoys him.

So he fancied pizza chips/wedges and corn on the cob. Cookie crisp for breakfast. Not seeing the problem there.

Do these 'incompetent' men get asked if there's anything they want when you go shopping?

Mine does this. I will ask him to pick up one or two items that I have forgotten. He will come back with 3 bags of stuff and 3 of the items I have asked for so I don't run out again. That item will be a herb like coriander or something that I rarely use but now have a life time supply of thanks to him.

So many women in what sound like very unequal partnerships on this thread. The lack of basic skills from these men isn't funny or amusing, it's fucking tragic and oppressive. Imagine what women could achieve if they weren't constantly doing more than their 50% share of the boring, dull grunt work of social reproduction. It becomes a self-fulfilling circle: men have more time for work, so they end up being promoted and earning more money, which encourages a still greater abnegation of their responsibility for childcare/grocery shopping and food planning/housework. And all this is role modelled down the generations.

lanouvelle I can't speak for others on this thread, but I'm perfectly happy with how things work in my home. I love being a sahm to our one year old, and even with the housework, cooking and shopping, I have a far easier life and more free time than Dh who works long shifts. He may not be great at shopping in my opinion, but there are other things he's great at.

No, but I'm exactly the same about the school run.

My partner gives me detailed instructions about how to drive to the schools and which child to drop where and when . But I get easily distracted, if a see a shop or a petrol station open I decide to go there beforehand. Often they have special offers on muli packs of sweets and I don't want to miss them. And I can stock up on fireflighters for the winter, which is always useful in July.

He even printed out A4 photos of the school, laminated them and stuck them to the dashboard but that still doesn't help. The photos were taken on a sunny day and if it's raining the school looks different.

Sometimes I see another school that looks better, so I drop the kids there to save money on petrol. After all, schools are pretty much the same.

And this whole time thing confused me, I don't get why the kids have to be there for an exact time when the schools are open all day.

My partner is really obsessive about my dropping the younger child at primary and the older one at secondary school, but I like to be more flexible and just go with how I feel on the day.

I've messed up so many times I decided to play to my strength and take the car for its MOT instead and DP does all the school runs now.

Provided he is generally a reasonable person, I would sit down and talk this through.

If he's not a reasonable person then he will obviously fly of the handle but then you have bigger problems.

He doesnt have to be sent with a list if he finds that patronising. But if he wants to take control he needs to understand the budget, the number of meals to be cooked for how many people etc.

My ex always did non meal planned shopping and came back with a bunch of stuff that didn't go together. Then he would boast of spending less money. He was not a reasonable person though so no chance of explaining meal planning to him.

I am torn here as to whether he is being strategically imcompetent or unconsciously incompetent. Or just a plain old wanker.
And again to opressive and tragic vs or him being a mild annoyance.

Another one here that has to give a detailed list. When I was pg he got very good at following a list and oddly as mentioned trying to get it done as quickly as possible. By the end he could buy fresh fish but not meat from the counter. But god it was hard work.

Like cleaning. I got really mad the other week, he sneakily booked a days holiday when DD and I were at my mums. Meaning he thought he'd get a nice quiet day alone. Yeah. Where's my nice quiet day? I caught him out. Told him to do the general weekly cleaning/washing/ironing. He had all day. Managed to clean under the coffee machine, mop the floor but walk all over it when wet in his shoes and make the chrome switches look like they'd not been cleaned in 5 years. Also no bathrooms. Is he too good to clean his shit stains. All this was done after I had to talk him through the washing machine in minute detail. Arrggh. Is it that he did a shit job so he'd not have to do it again? How is my wrath worth it?

Dressing DD, yesterday he put her in long sleeve top, vest, socks and leggings.

I don't know why I am with this child of a man.

He has few jobs, all bin emptying. I get a call every bin day to take them out. I refuse. Laundry in basket, he does or his clothes will not get washed. And keep his study tidy. He seems to prefer to sit in a mess of glasses and food wrappers instead of using the bin under his nose.

I should give myself a LTB

That's brilliant kr1stina!

No, DH does great shopping. He's very methodical. I however tend to come home with random stuff we don't need because I fancy it (was too hungry at the time) and forget the stuff that I said really needed, like loo roll.