Anyone else's Dh do this?

[IdoEverythinginthishouse]

Gave Dh a simple food shopping list to get and he's came back with a few bits of the list and loads of random crap that we never eat? My freezer is now full with it and we haven't got full ingredients for at least one meal for the week! Aibu to be pissed off?

How hard is it to do a food shop with less than 20 things on the list

I'd ensure he was making all the meals that week from his shop. If it meant eating weird combos, or him going again, then that's what it is. I wouldn't be raising it as an issue because I'm not his mother. Thankfully I picked a fully functioning grown up man.

My DH has his faults, but he's an ace shopper. Gets everything we need and plenty of exciting extras, to boot. Send him out for milk and he comes home with milk, a bottle of wine, a selection of delectable little cakes and a new type of bathroom-cleaning scrubbing brush which he will use.

Mine needs a list because he has the memory of a goldfish, but he's perfectly capable of reading the list and buying what's on it. Yes, he comes back with random bits sometimes (normally donuts) but he doesn't do that and forget the milk or bread.

The answer is for DH to do the list, and the shopping.

I (an 'H') really hate shopping to someone else's list - that's why I do both :) in Aldi, but that's another thread

Before the days when Ocado came into my life, DH was as much help as a chocolate teapot going into a supermarket. After I'd had one of our DDs and we'd run really low, he came back with a few bags full of mostly crap and no fruit or veg. We had some very interesting meals that week, as I was unable to drive and refused to let my mum bail him out . He did always ask for a list afterwards on the rare occasion when he was allowed near a shop. Funny that he can run his own business with 15 staff but getting a family shop in is a complete mystery............. good job he has other far better qualities!!

I do it! I am totally useless at shopping. Fortunately DO loves it so we're sorted. Otherwise I would have to live most of my life on crisps and chocolate.

Hard to imagine a similar thread started by a man isn't it - "my wife has to be sent with a list and still forgets half the stuff." Or a woman being described as an 'ace shopper'.

Just don't send him to Aldi. He'll come back with a circular saw and a wetsuit.

My husband does the shopping at least half the time. He will ask if we need anything in particular (and I ask him if I am the one shopping). But I wouldn't write a list for him. If he wants a list, he is perfectly capable of writing one himself.

My DP is the same. His point is that I do the cooking, and I do the shopping. Therefore I have a lot more practice than he does and know what to look for.
He however can plan a menu, buy for it, cook the food and wash up, do the laundry, put it away, vac etc if it's needed. But whilst I have more down time than he only seems fair that I do it.

He's an intelligent and capable person, but has his own way of doing things and for one thing doesn't mind spending whatever on shopping or having food cold if he makes thing in the wrong order. Drives me potty.

He compares it to things I ask him about. I have a laptop and did have a computer. I had no idea what to get for the best money. I have no idea which is the best anti virus etc, or the best mouse etc. I use mine day in and day out but once I've got it I don't change anything or try to find out about new best thing. I just use it. Just as DP wants food but I make it for him, I want a working laptop and it falls to DP. Yes I am capable and I could spend a while learning about the latest ratings and reading reviews etc but why bother and try to keep up with it all when I don't need to.

I plan on doing the cooking, shopping and washing as much as possible for the rest of our lives, whilst expecting him to keep up with technology and continue with the DIY and earning me us some money to spend.

@lotsofsausage 😂😂😂

We play to our strengths here. I shop, he mows the lawn. Coz he hates shopping and is shit at it and vice versa.

Oh yes.

Mine will get 5 useful/healthy items and come back with 20 items of random crap.

I think he rebels against my refusal to buy crisps/cake/biscuits. Once he came back with 60 packets of crisps!

I tried to send him back out, he said we'll go tomorrow... together!! I said do you just do it on purpose so you don't have to do it at all? He says no looking oblivious .

I actually don't think he does he must be just shit at shopping but how hard is it really?

He brought a bag of wedges and a bag of chips, we never eat either, some butter which we have in the fridge pizza, corn on the cob, cookie crisp cereal 😂 none of the above was on the list

Me and DP shop separately - I buy things I need when it's my turn to cook and vice versa. We also buy our own junk food usually (in moderation!), though we do pick things up for each other if we know the other likes something. I have lactose intolerance which I have to remind him of sometimes but otherwise it works out nicely. Saves a lot of bother and nothing goes to waste. :)

(Helps that we live in a city where there's a choice of supermarkets nearby, though!)

I go shopping with a list just incase I forget anything. If I were to send my OH to the shops I would give him a list too.

What's the problem with that?

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

It's the fact that it's only you bothering to keep track of what needs to be bought and when in both scenarios. Who decides when and how often the bathroom and kitchen need cleaning? When the washing needs putting on?

We have a list, it's on the fridge along with a pen and anyone who thinks of something can add to the list. Me or DH take the list with us when we next go shopping.

I really, really hate shopping on behalf of other people.

When you go to the supermarket for yourself, you have a list of meals in mind: Monday I'm making chilli, so I'll buy kidney beans. If the shop doesn't have any, I can substitute another type of bean.

But if all you're given is a bare list of ingredients, you'll have no idea what substitutes are acceptable because you don't know what recipe was in mind. To make matters worse if it's not a shop you know well or a product you buy regularly, you might not be able to find it, even if it is in stock.

If you want DH to buy the right things, make him responsible for cooking that week.

Second-guessing other people's minds is needlessly stressful.

So get him to make meals for the family for the week from what he got today. That will teach him.

We have the list on the fridge too which everyone writes on including DC.
But as I am chief cook I plan most of the meals so I finish the list just before the supermarket shop. Sometimes it's not just a question of what you are getting low on.

I don't think it is comparable with not seeing the bathroom needs cleaning. For certain items like toilet roll yes, everyone else should contribute to the list. However if the household tasks are divided in such a way that there is a main cook, then I think inevitably that person is going to be the major contributor to the list.

I came on to say exactly what PianoThirty has just said. Shopping is easy, shopping without a clue as to its purpose is hard.

As a corollary to the OPs scenario, I offer this one: when DH finds an item or dish we all like, he'll buy/make industrial quantities of it. The practical upshot is that we all get fed up of it really quickly- but still have to mournfully chew our way through the backlog...

No DP gets everything on a list but I'd be annoyed too! I bet he thought he'd done a good job too I fancy some cookie crisp cereal now.

We needed a few bits the other night, I was going to go in alone while everyone waited in the car.
Didn't end up that way, everyone followed me in. Spent £85 and have nothing to actually eat. Dh picked up £6 pack of Pepsi and spend £6 on root beer, boys wanted a t shirt that added £18

My DH is good at following a list but when confronted with choice he panics and normally buys the most expensive or biggest size possible, plus all the extra not needed crap.

No. Not a problem. I don't believe DH knows where Sainsburys is!