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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why are women so bitchy? Doubt my friend even likes me

63 replies

Miaoriely2017 · 16/07/2017 08:21

Not every woman just some of them obviously ..
I've been friends with her for 13 years and she used to be lovely and we had fun etc but the last few years she's changed.
She's made other friends and I know she slags me off behind my back.
Last night me and her and 2 other girls were out.
She constantly tries to belittle me in front of others.
Sly digs like "oh they've put more chips on your plate,that's because they noticed how skinny you are"
Then i said something and she looked at the other girl and smirked.
I just have a gut feeling they talk about me.
One girl went to the toilet and straight away the other two slagged her off.
It's pathetic ..why not just be friends?
She's uploaded lots of pics and none of the nice ones of me just the 1 crappy one.
Do I just stop socialising with them?
Because I feel mega uncomfortable all the time.

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 16/07/2017 08:28

If you feel uncomfortable with her, and the friendship doesn't feel good/rewarding, stop seeing her.

acapellagirl · 16/07/2017 08:29

I would stop socialising with them. I had a similar scenario a while back and that's definitely the best policy

acapellagirl · 16/07/2017 08:29

Also stopping socialising with them will make you feel more empowered

T00ManyB00ks · 16/07/2017 08:30

Cut them loose. It's an amazing feeling ( believe me).

TwoBusyCnuts · 16/07/2017 08:31

No - she doesn't like you. She sounds jealous.
I would end contact with her now.
She sounds like a right bitch.

Shestolethewitchesredshoes · 16/07/2017 08:32

If the digs, smirks make you feel uncomfortable and if when friends pop to the loo for a minute the backstabbing starts. Then yes - get out. Get out quick before you invest too much of your time. These friendships don't sound healthy.

juneau · 16/07/2017 08:33

She's a frenemy. Dump her.

Notsosureanymoors · 16/07/2017 08:33

Hate bitchy women. This is why my circle is small. Start ghosting her.

Marmalady75 · 16/07/2017 08:34

You already know the answer - ditch them!

e1y1 · 16/07/2017 08:43

Ditch the bitch(es) - literally.

Truckingalong · 16/07/2017 08:46

Ditch her without a backwards glance and stop referring to the whole of womankind as if they're all the same. Terrible sexist lazy stereotyping.

PoorYorick · 16/07/2017 08:50

If you don't like these people, just ditch the friendships rather than telling us how terrible women in general are. You complain that they bitched about each other when one of them popped off, but now you've come on here to bitch to a million strangers about them and extrapolate their bad qualities to an entire gender. Lovely.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 16/07/2017 08:53

If you don't like these people, just ditch the friendships rather than telling us how terrible women in general are

This.

Why do women get a reputation for being bitchy? I must move in different circles but the bitchiest people I've ever met are men and the women I know are beyond lovely.

emesis · 16/07/2017 08:54

I wouldn't say women are bitchy. I have extremely kind and gracious friends, and I try to be likewise to them. I'm sure you're a good person but I'd do my best to find new friends. Women aren't bitchy but those particular people sound like they are horrible! You don't deserve that.

CookieSue222 · 16/07/2017 08:59

Know what you mean.
I have recently been duped by a 'band of bitches' into organising a social event at work (leaving do for a colleague with over 25 years service, although she can be hard work at times). They ALL said they would attend, so I duly put the poster/name list up, with a 2 week closing date. Not one of them has put their name down, so there is only a handful of us on the list for the do - really showed our departing colleague what they think of her (and made a right twat of me in the process), and I've had to leave it up for the 2 weeks 'in case' anyone else wanted to go.
I've heard she's really humiliated/upset by it all (the leaving colleague). Sorry to hijack your thread, but also needed to vent.
DITCH THE BITCHES! they are not friends - wish I could do the same.

Differentname45 · 16/07/2017 09:00

I agree that I don't think women are bitchy in general. I have supportive lovely friends. But I do know where the reputation comes from - one of my best friends has a separate circle that I don't like and won't hang out with. The type who, when one leaves the room, the others start talking about. Forget that. Who has the energy?

Dump these girls. What's the point?

You'll then be free to meet lovely new friends who make you feel good!

CookieSue222 · 16/07/2017 09:02

Forgot to add that both women and men can be equally awful - I don't believe it's a gender thing.

AngelaTwerkel · 16/07/2017 09:02

"Why is my friend so bitchy?"

Should be your title. I have a lot of female friends, not one of them acts this way. That's because I don't have time for people in my life who aren't 100% supportive.

something2say · 16/07/2017 09:03

Yes I agree with everyone else, these people are not your friends.

I was in that boat too. I was abused as a kid and cut loose at thirty. At that time, I was finally free to change my life and start to become who I am now and I changed career to charity where everyone was mega cool and political and I was ex corporate and a bit square. I made these friends at work and thought they were really nice and then one night at a party, one of them took the piss out of me in front of everyone. I was mortified but couldn't leave as had been drinking. But the next day I got up and went home before seeing them, and I didn't ring the girl for ages and then she text me inviting me to her birthday.....and I thought, oh you're not sure how many people will turn up but you think I am a safe bet right? But I didn't want to go. I was so hurt by the last time and I also thought that wasn't nice behavior no matter who the person was, so I text back that I wasn't coming now or ever, and she clearly didn't rate me. Doing this made me feel strong and respectful. She wasn't a good friend, none of them were, and I went on to make better friends.

It happens. But your best friend will always be yourself I reckon xxxx just don't go back and if asked, tell the truth. Why not?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 16/07/2017 09:13

I ditch a friend who wasnt bitchy but an utter nightmare. Things include:

Being uber competative.
Wanting all my spare time to ease her bordem.
Ditching you when others are around.
Expecting lifts all the time and never offering up petrol money.
Offering to pay for things (I've spent loads on her over our 12 year friendship) but the demanding the money back weeks later.
Ruined a holiday that was the first me and my DD ever had together.
Being judgemental about my online dating but then doing the same.
Acting like a teenager all the time despite the fact that we are in our 30's.

I dont miss her at all.

FloofyFloo · 16/07/2017 09:17

As a different view point, I incessantly mock nearly all of my friends. It's part of our friendship and I'm pretty specific about what I'll mock (no personal comments on looks for example).
However I have one friend who just doesn't understand that I'm not actually trying to hurt her or be mean, and on a couple of occasions I've overstepped the mark and upset her. Cue profuse apologies.

I'm also very loving as a friend, and will be there for anything anyone needs. I actively try to avoid bitching in any situation, and after a somewhat lovely period of time (16-22years ish) I know have a solid circle of about 10 very good female friends. So I'm not actually completely delusional!
My point is, your 'friends' might not realise they're upsetting you if you haven't spoken to them (although they should bloody notice!).
On the other hand, if these people are deliberately going out to hurt or mock you or being mean without any hint of actual friendship underneath, then cut them loose! Good friends are out there and you will find them!

FloofyFloo · 16/07/2017 09:17

Lonely period of time,not lovely period of time!

wobblywonderwoman · 16/07/2017 09:20

Absolutely get out of the friendship group, I think she is jealous of you by the sounds of it. This won't do your confidence any good at all.

BrokenBattleDroid · 16/07/2017 09:22

Sorry you're on the receiving end of this, you are right to feel uncomfortable with it.

BUT women can be bitchy because they are people, and (albeit sadly) plenty of people are bitchy.

Lots of people aren't though so don't waste your time on 'friendships' with those that are. It may well stem from jealousy and insecurity, but you'll end up feeling just as jealous and insecure if you hang out with them because their drip drip of undermining comments will gradually permeate your self perception.

Don't let them drag you down with them; find new friends.

HattiesBackpack · 16/07/2017 09:30

The ladies in your social circle don't sound like they are a good fit for you, if they are being nasty and making you uncomfortable time to move on and find different friends, life is too short!

Ladies, and gents, can I ask you to think about not using the word 'bitch' in relation to people, it's sexist and hideous and demeans all of us.

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